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Original poster

Have you ever had someone take an instant dislike to you for no obvious reason?

71 replies

RedRed9 · 19/05/2020 19:47

Years ago I was teaching and an author/poet visited the school to sell/sign books and then run a workshop.

I chose a poetry book and asked him to sign it with a message to my class. The first look he gave me was an absolute sneer. I told him I was a fan and he basically replied that couldn’t be as I wouldn’t then be buying this new book, I’d be buying one of his classics.

In the afternoon he ran a work shop and I was the supervising teacher. I’d previously been looking forward to it but after the morning I was a bit cautious. He looked at me like I was shit multiple times throughout and afterwards I found out he’d made a complaint about me to the head that I’d let the children be incredibly unruly! (I hadn’t and luckily she didn’t believe him anyway as it would have been totally out of character for me.)

The thing is; he was charm personified to every single other member of staff! They were all gushing about how lovely he was. I’ve absolutely no idea why he hated just me on sight, but he did.

Has anything like this ever happened to anyone else?

OP posts:
bitofafunnyquestion · 19/05/2020 19:56

I told him I was a fan and he basically replied that couldn’t be as I wouldn’t then be buying this new book, I’d be buying one of his classics.

Ha I'd have asked him 'why, is this one crap then?'

What a tosser. Maybe he thought you were someone else?

Yes I have had a few people seem to hate me on sight, no notable examples but quite often a sense that someone has taken against me or later on, that they feel won round rather than just neutrally thinking 'she's ok'. The last was a previous manager at interview. She was stony cold and glowered at me throughout then continued to be sarcastic and petty throughout my tenure. No idea why she offered me the job.

Pogmella · 19/05/2020 19:57

Yes- but I’ve also had someone take an irrational like to me. Renowned office dragon, guarded the stationary cupboard with an iron fist and had withering put downs for anyone sending in anything late or incorrect etc. From day one was always as nice as pie to me, and if I sent in forms or papers late would laugh it off?! My colleagues were amazed and I was always put forward to ask her for stuff/tell her about delays. No idea why she chose me, but now if anyone just decides to sneer at me I feel it’s kind of karmicly balanced out.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 19/05/2020 20:00

Yes, there is a woman in my town, I have never spoken to her but she is a friend of a friend of a friend, the first time I noticed her utter hatred of me is when she served me in a shop the look of utter disdain she gave me, she would not hand me my change an literally threw it onto the counter, I was only in my early twenties at the time and I remember feeling really shocked, I have seen her out and about in various places and events over the years (I’m in my 50’s now) and she literally bristles in my presence, it amuses me now if I’m honest, I have no idea what I have done!

stellabelle · 19/05/2020 20:21

Yes, a woman I worked with was like that. She and I started at about the same time, and we were equal in rank so there wasn't any apparent reason that I could see. We both got along fine with the other people at work, but she actively disliked me and often spoke very disparagingly to / about me . I never did get to the bottom of it - she finally left to go travelling with her husband and never came back. I was just glad to see the back of her.

MulticolourMophead · 19/05/2020 20:31

I had one woman dislike me once. I think, from what others said, that it was because she thought I was being a snob because my name is very unusual. Given that I didn't actually choose my name, it's a weird reason.

Charles11 · 19/05/2020 20:41

I had a manager once who really disliked me. I have no idea why but it came up in my appraisal when she said ‘you’re not really well liked in the team, are you?’
This was absolutely not true and was a very awkward appraisal.
I’d love to know exactly how I come across to people initially as I’ve had a lot of conversations that started with ‘I thought you were really stuck up when I first met you but now that I know you better... ’

Generally, I do get on well with people.

mineofuselessinformation · 19/05/2020 20:49

A colleague. They've blanked me since I've been there. They will only communicate in person when there's someone else around.
Emails are usually curt and snippy.
Even my line manager is aware of the problem - it was brought up once, but I batted it right back by saying I was aware that there was a problem and that I would be happy to meet with them (with LM present) to clear the air.
I'm more than aware that rather than talk to me about any issues, the colleague complains to my LM.
The meeting never materialised, so I still have no idea why..... Hmm

Original poster
RedRed9 · 19/05/2020 20:53

It’s just so odd isn’t it?!

OP posts:
Deelish75 · 19/05/2020 20:54

Yes a woman from my NCT classes. The instructor got us to talk about ourselves - jobs hobbies etc. I was a nanny at the time. That became a bit of a talking point with the instructor wanting to know my qualifications, a degree in Early Years.

She has been quite frosty with me ever since (very rarely see each other now) I felt as though she thought I had stolen her thunder - she's quite prolific on Facebook posting articles on parenting, child development etc.

Luckily everyone else was really nice.

ThisBear · 19/05/2020 20:58

I've had this happen! It's strange, isn't it? I can only think it's either you remind them of someone they don't like, or they decide you're too grand/not grand enough/whatever it may be... could really do without it though!

TigerDroveAgain · 19/05/2020 21:02

I met a friend’s then boyfriend who was very superior in every way (we would all have been about 22 at the time). He was banging on about his very creative job and then explained he was a composer. I asked him what sort of things he composed and he fixed me with an icy stare and said that was the most stupid question he’d ever been asked. Then flounced off in a composer-like strop.

A few years later I was listening to the radio (not high brow, local radio sort of thing) and he was being interviewed. Turns out his compositions were advertising jingles. Grin

Original poster
RedRed9 · 19/05/2020 21:14

@TigerDroveAgain GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
coronafiona · 19/05/2020 21:26

A woman I used to see on the school run, we passed each other a few times a week for about 4 years- on the way to different primaries. I always said hi or good morning, she always ignored me. So I now ignore her back. It was interesting when her kid popped up at one of my kids' after school activities...Wink

elfycat · 19/05/2020 21:28

Yes, but then I'm quite Marmite.

And to be fair I've taken instant dislikes to other people, so it's only fair that it's a mutual concept.

cstaff · 19/05/2020 21:41

A woman I used to work with. I was there about 4 years when she joined. We both did the same job. I don't think she liked having to ask me how to do stuff our way.

She used to blatantly ignore me but I would make a point of saying good morning or see you tomorrow as I left and she would have to acknowledge me or she would look like the bad guy. I came close to leaving but thankfully she did first much to my relief.

Laiste · 19/05/2020 21:42

Yes! One of my first proper jobs was working on the fragrance counter of a posh department store.

I was already a bit out of my depth (16 fresh out of high school) and probably needed someone a bit kind to get me through the first couple of days. Instead i was beholden to this young woman who (i can see now) was thoroughly enjoying lording it over me. She was probably only about 20 herself. She drifted about the place as if she had a stink under her nose, did very little work and had a few hangers on who barked with laughter at everything she said.

She was totally unhelpful. I knew she was meant to be teaching me the ropes but she wasn't and i daren't ask her anything. She used to let me fuck up and then watch smirking while a more senior manager put me right.

I clearly remember a dept manager telling her specifically to talk me through a particular range of products. She had to come and do it as the manager was still in view. I can remember as if it was yesterday how she told me about the range in a voice like someone telling someone something for the THOUSANDTH time! All sighs and eye rolls and looking into the distance. It's amusing looking back but she made me feel awful. Bitch!

Floralnomad · 19/05/2020 21:50

Many years ago when I was a staff nurse I was allocated a student who took an absolute dislike to me from the first night we worked together , and the feeling soon became mutual . It was horrendous and in the end I was having to delegate other people to tell her what I needed her to do / know because she basically did the opposite of whatever I said . I was supposed to fill out her assessment at the end of her placement and I spoke to the night sister and said that in all good conscience I couldn’t do it fairly because she had literally made my life hell for 6 weeks .

elfycat · 19/05/2020 21:56

Floral I had that on my first ward as a student nurse. The junior sister was my mentor too.

It was OK in the end. We bonded over food poisoning the staff restaurant gave us...

FTstepmum · 19/05/2020 22:09

Yes, this has happened to me a few times.

My DH thinks it's because I'm secure in myself and joyful at heart.

Maybe you have something that he doesn't have?

Either way, I hope you don't let it affect you. Don't ever hide your light! X

Gingerkittykat · 19/05/2020 22:18

Yes, and it was mutual. It was a hairdresser, I instantly didn't like her because she had the air of a school bully and the look on her face made it clear she didn't like me too.

Unlike the man in the OP we both had the decency to be polite.

There have been a few people over the years I've disliked on first meeting them, sometimes I will warm to them over time and sometimes I wont. You just need to accept that not everyone is your type of person.

Squirrelblanket · 19/05/2020 22:20

Yes I have.

However I've often taken an often irrational dislike to another person too, so I can't be too cross about it!

Samiad85 · 19/05/2020 22:22

Yes. When I lived at home with my mum and dad a woman moved in with the guy next door.
She hated me on sight. For absolutely no reason. I’d say hello and she would never reply. Fair enough. I stopped saying hello. One night we both happened to get out of a taxi at the same time after a night out (so about 1am) and she just exploded on me outside our houses. She made comments about my appearance, my personality, despite never ever having had a conversation with me! Was screaming in my face. Accused me of being interested in her boyfriend which I absolutely was not. I moved in with my now husband not long after.
Weirdly she recently added me on Facebook.

CountFosco · 19/05/2020 22:39

There is a certain kind of pompous and traditional man who almost always dislikes me, they are generally the type who are threatened by my intelligence (the kind of mediocre man who tends to be overpromoted). I don't give a shit and frankly they are more than balanced out by those who do like me. I get on with most women, and those that are a bit liable to take insult initially I usually get on with eventually.

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 19/05/2020 23:24

I've had it quite a few times on dp's football nights out. Mainly with women. I'm actually a really shy person, but I can make friends with anyone, and put on a really good show of confidence (mainly because of trying to hide years of tremendous bullying). I find the "prettier" the woman, the more they try and avoid me. I have been told I have "resting bitch face" that may be the problem 😂. I take after my dad in that respect. By the end of the night I've always made them my best friend or my worst enemy. I really don't like people who judge on apperance. I find people like that are very insecure or just a bully. Quite good at reading people so can usually tell which way it will go.

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 19/05/2020 23:30

There is a certain kind of pompous and traditional man who almost always dislikes me,

Yes I've found this too. I don't come across the often, because we are very "working class" but on the odd occasion I have, I've found they don't really like me or dp. I think it's because I don't fit their "meek, quite" expectation of women.