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Original poster

Anonymous Call - DH accused of affairs

63 replies

VerityB1 · 19/05/2020 09:16

Reaching out for advice/comments.

Yesterday out of the blue, I answered a call on landline from a woman who said she had been seeing my DH and really fallen for him but stopped when she found out was married but wanted me to know that she has seen him in the company of a blond woman driving around looking very happy and pleased.

It was so bizarre. I spoke to my DH about the call and said it was v perculiar ... he denied it.

However, thinking about it, a few months back an acquaintance had said they saw DH with a blond woman going into a cafe in a nearby town and when he saw them he was then alone. Additionally, DH last year his mob rang on the sofa where I was sat and a message popped up along the lines of "Since you wont leave your wife, I will not see you again."

If it was anyone else, it would be plain as a pikestaff but my DH is a v unusual character. Advice gratefully received.

OP posts:
FredaFrogspawn · 19/05/2020 09:17

Pretty obvious he’s far from innocent here.

Astella22 · 19/05/2020 09:19

It must of been a shock for you. There are too many coincidences for there to be nothing in it. It seams like he is lying to you. I would say trust your gut

Honeyroar · 19/05/2020 09:22

Did you mention the message popping up?

Spied · 19/05/2020 09:22

Agree with pp. There's 3 bells ringing there.

Figgygal · 19/05/2020 09:24

You saw that message and dismissed it? Wow

What is it about your husband that makes it so unlikely?

MrsWhites · 19/05/2020 09:27

Oh wow that call must have been very hard for you but those things are more than a coincidence. Did you confront your husband about the text message last year?

ExplodingCarrots · 19/05/2020 09:28

It doesn't look good does it Op. I'm sorry. It's glaring you in the face. I would have been off from that first text message.

Just because someone is an unusual character doesn't mean they won't cheat. You don't fully know anyone.

RainMustFall · 19/05/2020 09:32

Seeing the message on his mobile would have been enough for me. What more evidence do you want?

In what way is your DH unusual? he sounds no different from the usual cheating scumbags that women post about on here.

AnyFucker · 19/05/2020 09:35

You sound a bit "unusual" yourself Hmm

WhatCFeryIsThis · 19/05/2020 09:37

What was it that made you not pay any mind to that message on his phone, OP? What did you think it meant at the time?

blancheduboiss · 19/05/2020 09:39

How come you didn’t challenge that message at all? I’d be on dp like a red flag to a bull if i saw that

Original poster
VerityB1 · 19/05/2020 09:39

Thank you, you are confirming what my best friend said when I talked to her about it.

I did not mention the mobile text ... stupid of me ... because that is pretty significant ... and it did give a pop up name, which I mentioned when I talked to him yesterday about the landline call ... but he never so much as blinked or looked shocked.

However, I did mention about my acquaintance seeing him in the cafe and from what I recall he said, Oh yes I did see X ... ... I delved a little further about being with someone and he sort of dismissed plausibly but I felt needed to protect acquaintance.

Should I mention that text message at this time?

I guess I have been avoiding all these things so as not to rock the boat for my youngsters and the impact on their exams and so forth.

OP posts:
RedRed9 · 19/05/2020 09:44

a message popped up along the lines of "Since you wont leave your wife, I will not see you again.

^ and you did nothing?

Original poster
VerityB1 · 19/05/2020 09:44

I mean at the time I mentioned the cafe.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 19/05/2020 09:47

You never mentioned seeing that text?! Why not?

ballsdeep · 19/05/2020 09:47

He's clearly having an affair

letsdolunch321 · 19/05/2020 09:47

Hmmmm - is this a case of lockdown boredom !!!

Original poster
VerityB1 · 19/05/2020 09:49

I know RedRed, how unbelieveably stupid and cowardly not to act ...

Do you think I should mention it now?

(A part of me is beginning to think that he could potentially have left it so I would see as normally doesnt leave mob around ... and also could he have set it up for someone to say or is it real ... either way pretty awful.) As you can see, I am unable to make sound judgements.

Thanking everyone for advice and comments.

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 19/05/2020 09:51

OP, really you know he is cheating on you. A lot. Sorry. Flowers

Greenkit · 19/05/2020 09:52

How can you be so blasé

Too many red flags !!!!

EmbarrassingMama · 19/05/2020 09:54

Lordy. You saw that message and said nothing at all?

It's very clear what is happening here. I would get your finances in order on the quiet - he's clearly a slippery bastard - and, when you have everything in place call a solicitor.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 19/05/2020 09:54

In what way is your DH unusual?

Maybe he has an unusual name? Wink

RedRed9 · 19/05/2020 09:55

Yeah... I call bullshit.

kingkuta · 19/05/2020 09:58

Oh come on OP, it couldn't be more obvious could it. Texts, phone calls spotted with other women by your friends. He seems to be doing absolutely nothing to hide his cheating. Is this because he knows he can get away with it? I cant imagine seeing that text and being able to just ignore it!

bitofafunnyquestion · 19/05/2020 10:00

Sorry OP but these are 3 separate incidents and more than one mention a blonde woman and someone not wanting to continue their affair as he is married. Obviously not forensic proof of an affair but you can't expect to get that and this seems to stack up.

You need to weigh the strong, substantiated suspension of an affair against you wanting things to stay as they are.

I know you have tried to live with this but what do you want to do? Do you want to stay married to a (very likely) cheat? Oh and 'unusual characters' certainly do cheat (hi, Prince Charles).