Anonymous Call - DH accused of affairs

[VerityB1]

Reaching out for advice/comments.

Yesterday out of the blue, I answered a call on landline from a woman who said she had been seeing my DH and really fallen for him but stopped when she found out was married but wanted me to know that she has seen him in the company of a blond woman driving around looking very happy and pleased.

It was so bizarre. I spoke to my DH about the call and said it was v perculiar ... he denied it.

However, thinking about it, a few months back an acquaintance had said they saw DH with a blond woman going into a cafe in a nearby town and when he saw them he was then alone. Additionally, DH last year his mob rang on the sofa where I was sat and a message popped up along the lines of "Since you wont leave your wife, I will not see you again."

If it was anyone else, it would be plain as a pikestaff but my DH is a v unusual character. Advice gratefully received.

Speaking as an author, most of us have enough characters and situations in our heads that we don't need to run them by MN for verification...

But I don't think your DH is 'unusual' Verity. He may have led you to believe that he is, but he really isn't. And if he's self-made with lots of money, he is absolutely the sort of person to have an affair. He sounds very entitled and a bit of a git - again, markers for an affair.

... can make a person feel terrible not earning the same amount and rubbishes others for this, for eg, I went back full time after 3 months maternity as he refused to pay any contrib. When the children were young there were threats about what he would do if I left and not getting any of his money...

He sounds like a prince. Would you be happy with your life together if you HADN'T received the phone call, seen the text, heard the "blond woman" comment? It's not impossible that he's drawing your attention to his affair(s), real or fake, because he wants to split up and wants to make you the "bad guy" - but who cares? It's not all up to him. Do you want to stay in the relationship? Do you want a reason to get out?

He’s not unusual he’s an abusive narc

Well he is abusive and very likely a cheat.

Make plans to leave, you are better off without.

Not really unusual is it OP.

Very similar to a recent thread that was deleted. Drip feeding and escalation coming out there too.

I think a text on your Dh's phone is worse than the call from a random stranger.
Why did you not mention it to him at the time?

Any update OP?

I smell bull......
True
Real
Original
Little by little, and.....
Laughably unbelievable

Clearly the kids have now been off school far too long.

As an aside I know someone who took a similar message at work where the person asked to relay a message to a colleague along almost identical lines.

Turned out it was their best friend. She rang when the bloke wouldn’t leave his wife so she took it into her own hands. He did leave for her but have no idea how it panned out in the end.

He is unusual because he is a very successful self made business person who had an unhappy childhood although without much formal education

Confused. How does this make him unusual?

That could describe some basic things about my Dp. He isnt a cunt.

So you know he has been cheating for a while, you dont believe he is the sort of person to cheat.....but then describe him as a complete cunt. Why is it you dont think he would cheat, given the behaviour and text?

No sure where the problem is. You know he has been cheating for a while and accepted it. Why is it this time, you won't?

If you know all that I would be wondering what else is going on, possibly a lot more.

He doesn't sound like someone who is kind to you and a supportive partner even if he isn't cheating (which he fairly clearly is!).
LTB.