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ADHD

108 replies

eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 06:57

If anyone reading this has sought a private diagnosis for Adult ADHD, would you please share how you approached that, and if you then latterly were taken on board by NHS for treatment without an official ‘NHS’ referral and diagnosis? Feel free to PM too.

I see symptoms in my children and have suddenly realised it’s very likely I have it, and it’s potentially affected so many things in my life. I’m now wanting to look at this quickly before I procrastinate and do nothing about it ...

Thank you

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Ouchiehelpneeded · 16/05/2020 11:03

Ooh the memory thing is funny. I have that too and I think it is an ADHD thing. My friends will recount an event or talk about a person from our shared past,and I'll remember nothing about it. It's weird.

Proper meds might help with the self medicating. I was smoked and binge drank like crazy when I was younger, but thankfully have stopped both now. Being hungover does not help me to be a functioning and together person!

Ouchiehelpneeded · 16/05/2020 11:07

GPs in my area won't prescribe ADHD meds at all. I get my prescriptions from my (NHS) psychiatrist. So definitely have a conversation with your GP before going private.

Mixingitall · 16/05/2020 11:08

I suspect I have ADHD, and like you it was obvious once my son reached 6. I suspect he does too, but school don’t as he can focus academically.

I am successful career wise and able to get things done in my life, I am fairly competitive with myself and won’t let it beat me, so I never give up on a task, I work hard to ensure it’s finished. I struggled at school until I was around 14, and seemed to improve academically at college and university.

In some ways it’s like a super power, I work lots, have a family and run a home along with dh, I have the energy to keep going and can run with multiple things at once.

My weaknesses are that I interrupt people all the time and get bored if I am not in a fast paced environment. Although Lockdown has allowed me to wind down and become very relaxed!

Good luck in your diagnosis, I have never seen the point as I don’t see how it will benefit my life.

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Changeyname40 · 16/05/2020 11:13

Op I would seiously consider an adhd coach for your expenses! It would pay for itself!

No meds don't magically help you become more healthy, if only this was true. Not a magic bullet. Still have to commit, regular sleep, meals, time outside. Gets easier though.

9While9AndImWaiting · 16/05/2020 11:18

Do speak to your GP. It can be a long wait to see the referral team but after that it picks up relatively quickly.

Warning: there are forms. Lots of forms.

The medication helped me so much.

eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 11:22

@Ouchiehelpneeded wow the memory thing isn’t just me. I have always thought it’s because I’m in my head not in the present time / experience - hence why I thought it might be an ADHD thing.
Yes I figured same with prescriptions, I hate the dr experience, you can feel their rejection on basic stuff - cost, addiction, sue risk, when you visit for mundane stuff.

@Changeyname40 gosh I could get a coach but I can’t even get a plumber to fix my heating issues (too many decisions to weigh up!) no idea how I’d choose someone!

@Mixingitall I’m very similar but I think I’ve just hit breaking point so need help. Good luck, you sound like you’re doing great.

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Changeyname40 · 16/05/2020 11:22

Long term memory can be v good with adhd. Depends on person a bit. Dx not an excuse, I still have to take responsibility (dammit). Helps so much with acceptance though. Years of hiding and struggling. Also you can get adhd coaching via Access to Work.

Changeyname40 · 16/05/2020 11:28

Yes my washing machine needs fixing too.

On coaches there are not that many. PM if you want a couple of recommendations. @ me if you PM as I have adhd and won't check lol.

Yes forms took me 8-12 hours to complete.

Wish you well.

Ouchiehelpneeded · 16/05/2020 11:28

Can anyone recommend an ADHD coach? I do think that would be useful.

I haven't 'come out' at work about the diagnosis, but I am very open about what I struggle with and need help with.

I find the diagnosis helps me take responsibility, in a way, because I don't waste energy castigating myself and feeling ashamed.

eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 11:31

Oh gosh 2 of you talking about forms... I’m already backing out!

What do they ask for? I’d rather do expenses!

And thank you @Changeyname40 I probably never will, but want to lol

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Ouchiehelpneeded · 16/05/2020 11:38

The forms (at least in my experience) are the same as the screening questionnaires you find online. I had to get DH and parents to fill ones in too. That was interesting!

chipsandgin · 16/05/2020 11:40

5 years ago I took a completed online questionnaire with a list of symptoms to our NHS GP when I was asking for a diagnosis for my son, at the time I was sceptical as I’d also completed it & I’d got similar results to him (basically almost 100% as ADD as you can get - primarily inattentive type) & thought it’s probably not that...

The GP talked through it with us, referred my son, I asked him about the fact that I’d also answered it and it said I was ADD too, but that couldn’t be right? I was 44. He then asked me a few questions & said ‘I can refer you too if you like, it sounds like a diagnosis might help?’.

Turns out all the things I’ve always struggled with are a result of having tried to cope with my differently wired brain my whole life & I’m not scatty/lazy/stupid/useless after all!

I’m very academically able (although a last minute crammer - love exams but the information doesn’t stick in my head for long!) & have been successful in work & have lots of friends etc. However, I would procrastinate endlessly, get distracted easily, forget stuff, never finish anything, lose things, drift off in conversations that were boring me & changed careers frequently. I’m also messy, disorganised, easily overwhelmed, reckless, impulsive, terrible with money....but, if I am engaged in a task can do it brilliantly to the tiniest detail to the exclusion of everything else with no sense of time, (which turns out is hyperfocus!). I’d also unwittingly self medicated for years (caffeine mainly..).

So, the NHS referral was straightforward, the appointment took a year to come through though as the adult ADD service is unfortunately so underfunded. I’ve now been medicated for years & it was life changing.

Also the relief of knowing why you are like this and the clarity you get to be able to take control of it once medicated is incredible (it doesn’t go away of course, I’m still scatty! However - for the first time in my adult life I’ve kept all my bank cards until they expired, I can sit in a meeting with someone tedious and focus on what they are saying, my bedroom is more or less tidy and organised rather than either a bomb site or clinically clean and tidy after a manic session of sorting & I haven’t let a bath run over & flood the house or burnt a pan in years. I no longer have a wardrobe full of unreturned clothes I bought impulsively online. I still buy things impulsively on occasion - but they get returned if they were a mistake. I still make lists - but they get ticked off & I don’t lose them!

I take dexamphetamine, I did lose 2 stone within 6 months of starting it - partly because it does mildly affect appetite, partly because I wasn’t grazing whilst distracted or overwhelmed & partly because I could focus on healthy eating/see a plan through. I’ve kept the weight off for four years now - sadly don’t notice any appetite affects now from the medication (obviously a good thing, but I wouldn’t mind!!).

Sorry - a very long and slightly evangelical post, I bang on about it as it’s something I wish I’d known 20 years earlier and if you read this thread and it resonates & I’d love to think it could help someone else like me...basically, go for it OP!

eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 11:40

@Ouchiehelpneeded I thought about the coming out thing too, if I get a diagnosis - besides the fact I’ll probably blurt it out, I thought it probably wouldn’t be helpful. Too many preconceptions / judges. I told someone I thought would understand, that I was worried about my daughter, myself and they literally laughed and said no way don’t be ridiculous, she’d be this/ that the other of she had it. Put me right off sharing info!

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eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 11:48

@chipsandgin oh my gosh, thank you so much for sharing! That’s me to a tee!

Every single one of you have helped me so much. I doubted myself, but I’m 99% sure I have it, and it empowered me, made me feel confident enough to actually make a decision and get a diagnosis. Wish it wasn’t a Saturday so I could start the wheels in motion.

If you don’t mind sharing, I’d really like to hear your other ‘definitely ADHD’ nuances, and your perfecting meds pitfalls and successes. Thank you!

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eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 11:52

Happy to hear about weight loss too, I’ve got so fat. ☹️

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Ouchiehelpneeded · 16/05/2020 12:02

Chips your story sounds very like mine.

Obesity is more common in people with ADHD because (afaik) of a killer combo of lack of impulse control and chronic boredom.

This is making me think I should change meds to long acting asap. I haven't gained any weight in lockdown, so that's something.

Ouchiehelpneeded · 16/05/2020 12:07

@Changeyname40 I've DMed you about coach recommendations Smile Flowers

Ouchiehelpneeded · 16/05/2020 12:09

I'm pretty sure both my kids have ADHD (one inattentive and one hyperactive). They haven't had enough problems at school for the school to worry, but I'm sure they're underachieving.

I'm incredibly bad at this home schooling thing (wfh in a ft demanding job not helping) but I think some coaching around parenting with ADHD would be useful.

Notlostjustexploring · 16/05/2020 12:12

I tried going through my GP about a year ago, I think he tried to fob me off with anxiety and said I would be referred. Not heard anything and haven't got around to following it up....

Anyway, I thought I'd follow the psychiatry UK link as suggested upthread, and the following is on their website:

"We routinely check for incomplete bookings and contact users to check if they would like to complete their booking."

This wryly amused me. How many people must start those forms and never finish!! I suspect they know their target audience well!!

eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 12:13

@Ouchiehelpneeded Exactly the same! My daughter is hyper and son inattentive

I’m working from home, and struggling.

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eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 12:15

@Notlostjustexploring Haha

Where/what was the link, I didn’t pay attention?! 😂

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Notlostjustexploring · 16/05/2020 12:33

www.psychiatry-uk.com/adhd/

I'm assuming it's that one? Not sure why it's not a clicky link.

I've got a 3 year old who, although it's way too early to say, probably has ADHD too. I've got a "raising spirited children" book and although not ADHD specific, does provide some practical tools and I've found it helpful.

Out of interest, does anyone else drink coffee like it's water?

LonginesPrime · 16/05/2020 12:37

But the main impact has been to help free me from the enormous shame I've always felt at being so disorganised and annoying

100% relate to this. I got diagnosed recently and the biggest impact it had was to forgive myself for the way I am. Literally overnight, I went from constantly thinking 'god, wtf is wrong with me? Why can't I do these simple things everyone else finds easy?' to thinking 'well, I know why, I just need to find a solution' the same as I do with my DCs' learning difficulties all the time.

Made the world of difference to my mental health.

But OP, be prepared for a slight downer after the diagnosis, because the assessment tends to focus on all the ways ADHD negatively impacts your life (they're not so interested in all the ways it's also your superpower as that's not what the diagnostic criteria is based on). It's worth remembering that the diagnosis only reflects one aspect of one's neurodivergence and doesn't define you.

eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 12:52

@Notlostjustexploring about 20 cups a day (no exaggeration!)

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eeehbyegum · 16/05/2020 12:59

@LonginesPrime thank you for the heads up. It’s weird because I’ve always felt a bit not like other people, but like with downsides, I do have some superpowers! My brain is chaotic but I work through reasoning so fast, and can usually assess a situation / person very quickly (sometimes inaccurately) and if I want to get stuff done, usually manual tasks, I get them done with lightening speed and then fall into a heap. However if it’s decision making or tasks that just don’t float the boat, they don’t happen. I hyper focus with work a lot, but that makes family life hard.

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