Oh gosh, you're all so lovely on here. I can't take it. 
I'm ok thank you. I have had several very horrible moments in the last few weeks where if I'd had an easy, painfree way to take my life, I'd have done it. This whole situation has brought up so much pain I'd really rather not have felt. And I think it is going to take me many months to get myself properly back on track but I have lots and lots of really good things up ahead, if only we can get back to a more normal life. And I'm just one person - there must be so many more in the same boat, sadly. I know the pandemic is responsible for a bit of my distress but far (far) more, the rubbish in the media is what's terrified me so badly. The absolute fuckers. And I knew they were shouting loudly to attract clicks, I still couldn't block the terror out because it was relentless.
Anyway, the worst is behind me, definitely. I just need to cling on here and keep focusing on the good things. It's just tragic for those who do take that leap and decide they've had enough when it's the most permanent decision. Their poor parents. It's always a kick in the guts hearing someone did that to themselves, isn't it?
How murderous will my car shopping be? Are we talking 2 grannies, a key worker and a handful of kids are am I going full serial killer and taking out the equivalent of a small town?
Please buy yourself the nicest car you can afford at present. The economy will thank you and the situation with the climate will improve with a few thousand dead. You will enrage enough people that it will be deeply satisfying, too. Yesterday I bought a bright yellow dress and I can't wait for it to arrive. I will be digging out a red lipstick that I've never been brave enough to wear before when it comes. I plan on being happy at every opportunity, thank you very much.