My neighbours are arguing

[HerRoyalPain]

I'm not being purposely nosy. They just happen to be directly outside my house.

Neighbour comes out from next door (Im semi detached and theres a street between me and these neighbours, but I recognise the voice anywhere) and screams down the street to someone "eeeeyyy, did you comment on that picture down the river?"
I didnt hear what was said in response, but theyve just had the following exchange outside of my house...

N1: I don't give a shit, why comment
N2: oh fuck off I can say what I like
N1: I fuckin dare ya, I'll knock your fucking head off you dickhead
N2: oh fuck off and get a life, its only Facebook.

N1: you fuck offffff (screamed, as I presume N2 walked away into their house)

Now I really want to know what the picture down the river was and what was said on it.
I dont have any of them on Facebook though as I don't actually speak to any of them.
Damn.
Im no artist, but have attached a diagram.
They were stood in direct view of my window, and were very very loud.

I have a midnight update... the police have just turned up and arrested the man from N1. N1 came out and was ranting at the police. I couldn't make out the exact words as she was outside her own house, but then N2 came to her door, watched and went back in.
N1 gave up shouting and went in and the police drive off with N1s partner in the back.

Now I'm even more curious!

Was N1 man the one who was rowing with N2 the other day?

Ooh top marks for coming back and updating!!!

You have to find out what's been going on!

chandler no! N1 waS arguing with N2, the man arrested is N1s partner.
The plot thickens...

Oh you need to keep your ear out today for onstreet arguing!

I'm checking the washing on the line regularly and I'm weeding the garden, but so far nothing.
Boring buggers.

Maybe you need to befriend N2 then, perhaps a socially distance walk if you can time it right. Work out when they leave the house and go out too. Say you are going to buy more clothes or weeds so you have enough to keep washing/weeding. Even better say you have run out of weeds and could you weed their garden too. It might be against your natural inclination but this is a time of national crisis, you need to take one for the team here!

I thought it was going to be about dog poo. But I don’t think you get arrested for that

TW2013 unfortunately as a single mum, I can't leave and go weeding oeoples Gardens. Granted my mum is here, but as I'm disabled she helps me get up and down from the floor to weed! So that wouldn't work.
Its been quiet. Im starting to think its too quiet...

Oh if your mother is there that changes everything, she can go and be nosy. I find the older I get the more questions I seem to get away with asking. If anyone ever questions you on it then just say 'oh bless her she does like to know what is going on'. Probably works better if she isn't a 35yr old grandmother!

Oh send the mother out I guarantee she will have the goss by the end of theday

TW2013 she's almost 50
Shes popped for some milk. We've timed it so that N2 is in the street. Hopefully she'll come back with gossip!

Sounds like they aren't friends on Facebook. Are you in all the local gossip groups, Covid support locally groups etc? Find the biggest local groups, and then look through the photo albums rather than the main posts to look for one showing a pic of the river.

I thought only southern people went down ('dahn') the river. If you are 'much further north' would you not go up ('oop') the river?

And following that, would you say 'up the city' or 'down the city?' (As in 'I'm going up the city').

As a northerner not too far from the op I say "goin't town" town being Manchester so not a town at all
Op fingers crossed for gossip liven your day up as long as they leave you alone

Northern people ime say "into town"

Yep, we say into town, and down the river because we have to go down a hill to get to it!

Mums gossip getting skills are clearly useless. She came back with milk and no gossip.

send her back out for bread op

mog

Are you midlands? We have similar

Can you go 'down the river'? Maybe there is something essential about this river that needs to be commented on - you could go down, take some pictures, post them to FB with, maybe, a neutral comment about ...I dunno, swans or something, and see if anyone local takes the bait?

Well she is pretty useless

Agree with Mrsjayy you have a DM problem . Any MIL around? She said hopefully. How old is your child? Young children can also get away with 'innocent' questions when properly primed.

Zaphodsotherhead unfortunately its difficult to manoeuvre my wheelchair down the path that leads to the river near here.
TW2013 I do have a DM problem!
No Mil thank fuck
Kids are 11, 6 and 4.
I reckon the 4 year old might get away with some awkward questions... hes incredibly cute.