What's the stupidest thing you've done whilst drunk?

[Amzz87]

Here's mine:
I came home one night at about 5am absolutely blind drunk. I'd walked home and by this point was absolutely bursting for a wee. I staggered to the loo and being so drunk I forgot to pull down my jeans and knickers before sitting on the seat. I just sat there and pissed through them. I was beyond care I think at that point, I remember thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. That was before being sick and passing out

What's your stupidest moment while drunk?

Mine is very similar but worse.

I was very drunk at a wedding (free bar!)

In toilet cubical misjudged how far away the seat was, pulled pants down sat- missed the seat- fell to the floor and pissed everywhere. Wasn’t even bothered.

@Amzz87That’s also happened to me! And I also didn’t care and found it funny. I didn’t vom though.
Definitely not the worst thing I’ve done while under the influence though 😖😳

Mine involve my knickers and a lamppost. They were up there for a good couple of weeks for everyone to see!

I was invited to a do as a guest by a lovely friend. I got so drunk (as there was no food) I vommed at the table. There was supposed to be a Lancashire hotpot, three course dinner. There was bog all. No food, loads of booze 🤔 I felt sorry for my friend. Dh took me back to the hotel.

On a pub crawl at university - decided it would be funny to sit in the painted bit of a mini-roundabout on a busy round and direct traffic. I can still remember the whoosh of air as a car whizzed past my ear from about 6 inches.

NOT ME, it was my nephews partner.

We had dd's christening party in a marquee in our garden. By evening she was really drunk. She went upstairs and into our bedroom and tried my clothes and shoes on🤨.
She fell down the stairs we had to phone an ambulance her bloody leg was broke. As the paramedics were carrying her out I was pulling my shoes off her feet.
I gathered up all her clothes and shoes and took them to her house the next day she looked mortified, cheeky cow.

Well apparently once I got blackout drunk and ordered about 30 different rolls of washi tape (decorated craft tape) from different places and totally forgot about it. I was receiving deliveries of tape for weeks! I don’t even do any crafts

Peed myself at my front door as I fumbled with the keys.

When I was 18 I did a fire walking course. Spent all day using kind over matter techniques, culminating in a walk over hot coals. All very controlled and supervised.

Fast forward a few years and I was drunk on a beach in Goa at new year. We were sat around a camp fire and I thought I’d show off my fire walking skills. Yes I put my foot directly into a burning camp fire.
I couldn’t walk for days, my sole was completely covered in a huge blister and we had to postpone the next leg of our trip.

Persuaded my now exh to take Viagra for a laugh..
He ended up with a massive...
headache, sickness and def not up to sex!! Gutted!!

Went for a girls night out, got absolutely rat arsed and went for a wee - had my Spanx on and for the life of me couldn't get them down, kept falling forward and hitting my head on the door - gave up, and went to bed, collapsed on the bed arms stretched out like I was being crucified, woke the next morning and couldn't move my arms, looked in the mirror and I had two lovely black eyes from hitting the toilet door catch!

Oh god. So many.

Went into a fish and chip shop and tried to order a cab

Got together with my first husband! Somehow, under the influence of Bulgarian homebrew, it seemed like a good idea. It just so wasn't....

About 14.5 years ago, in my early days in the Territorial Army, got a bit drunk on a social night... And went home with my section commander. Haven't got rid of him yet, including 10 years of marriage and 2 children.

Tried to open the front door with a pound coin instead of my key

Some one night stands, one of which landed us both in hospital and had to be taken there by ambulance (We decided to have sex in the shower with him standing and my legs round his waist and my arms holding the road. He slipped. It wasn't good but we both fully recovered).

Aged 14 got drunk on vodka & coke at an am dram after party. Got home before my folks and went straight to bed. Woke up feeling sick and threw up all over my duvet. Still three quarters cut I was worried about getting into trouble so I turned my duvet over and got back in bed 🤢

I used (when young) to get a remarkable urge to lie on roads and look at the stars. Best was Waterloo bridge one night (before central raised bit). No cars. We lay there for some time. Peaceful - before night buses were a thing.
In the north east in winter deciding to swim to an island in a park. Dead of night. Got to the island. So cold I couldn’t bear to get back in to swim back. I remember swimming back and seeing some birds flying overhead and thinking ‘that will be my last memory’.
I once drove very over the limit - I think I was about 18. At night. Through central London. I am remarkably ashamed of it. It makes my skin crawl with fear when I think of it now. I am one of those who doesnt drive if ive had anything at all to drink. Really ashamed of it.

Various sexual nonsense when drunk but assume we don’t need to go there !?!

At a friends house drinking, chatting etc. Went to sit down missed the chair and landed on my backside!
That wasn’t the worst part, I had ridden my dh’s bike to her house and thought it was a good idea to ride home as it was early hours (not many cars on the road). Ended up wobbling as I hopped on the top high seat went all the way over and landed on her neighbours parked car bonnet!😬

I got stuck in my recycling bin...fully in it. I don’t know what made me get in it, my DH came out and found me stuck there sobbing I’d lost my elbows, it was Pernod that did it. I managed to find my elbows on my arms so all is well.

I was a 27 year old widow with two small children so I already had my hands full. Anyway, had drunken sex with a friend and ended up pregnant. My little mistake is now in his first year as a medical student. Totally unplanned and completely out of the blue but never regretted it for a second. Met my husband when he was 2. Strange how things work out.

Ordered a Gary Barlow mug! Came from the states and cost me £26.

Magnanimously gave away the entire contents of my purse to a homeless man on High Holborn.

Drank a Flaming Sambuca without blowing out the flame.