What's the stupidest thing you've done whilst drunk?

[Amzz87]

Here's mine:
I came home one night at about 5am absolutely blind drunk. I'd walked home and by this point was absolutely bursting for a wee. I staggered to the loo and being so drunk I forgot to pull down my jeans and knickers before sitting on the seat. I just sat there and pissed through them. I was beyond care I think at that point, I remember thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. That was before being sick and passing out

What's your stupidest moment while drunk?

I weed in the work car park and got caught on camera and fired!

@ some of these!
Stitches to my forehead after falling and splitting it open. What an idiot, lesson learned.

Far, far too many and I do a lovely job of locking the memories away and trying to pretend they never happened.

I'm having a great time reading everyone else's though

i woke up in norway once.

Probably just laying on the floor talking to the cat while waiting for the room to stop spinning.

Gone home to the wrong house and slept on their sofa.

After a night on the sauce, I bid on - and won - a complete 60-piece set of Midwinter Spanish Garden crockery on eBay.

Trying to ring an ex

Took a ONS back to ours, couldn't get my key in the door so made him climb over and get in through a window. It was next door, they came down and caught him and nearly called the police, I didn't help by crying laughing while the poor neighbour and poor guy were both terrified and panicking. All the adrenilane made for a great shag but the neighbours never liked me after that

I wouldn’t know where to start
From around 18-30 I was drunk a lot
Even after that once D.C. started I’ve had some fantastic times

Fell into a street vendor's barbecue grill in Kavos aged 18. Then was carried home by a lovely gay man who tucked me up in bed like a child 🤣 Had the most horrendous burns on my back. Which I didn't get treated because I was stupid and wanted the money for drinking, rather than paying €50 excess at the medical centre. I got treated when I came home 12 days later, but looking back what an idiot, I'm lucky I didn't get some sort of wound infection! I still sunbathed in my bikini FFS

Oh these are so funny

@aWeaponCalledtheWord

You have to tell us more 👂

I missed the last bus home after a night out, so I decided to walk home. From Nottingham city centre to my house 11 miles away. On my own. Via a dual carriageway. In the freezing cold middle of winter. In my heels. Wearing next to nothing. Without a coat. Or a phone (this was the late 80s).

This was not a good plan. By some miracle, I made it home without being run over, attacked, abducted or dying of hypothermia. I was a sober, frightened shivering crying mess by the time I got home, and decided never to do anything as stupid again. Lesson learned.

Was horrendously sick at a nightclub while at uni. I swear my drink was spiked, I hadn’t had that much and was really ill. Spent ages in the loo feeling like death. Thought I ought to crawl out and see if my friends were still there. We’d caught the coach there and were supposed to be going back together. Don’t know where they were although they said later that they’d been looking for me. The coach was outside and just getting ready to go. Another minute and I’d have missed it and been stranded twenty miles from our house blind drunk all on my own.

Another time on a works do I’d spent the evening exchanging furtive glances with a lad in the next department who I used to share a lot of flirty banter with. I was single at the time but he was there with another girl from work. I was looking for my coat in the cloakroom at the end of the night when he came in. He looked at me and I looked at him and then we just launched at each other and had the most amazing snog. Good job nobody caught us. God he was lovely though.

God, so many. Some that spring to mind are:

Ended up in a random barman’s house in Greece after losing my boyfriend after a row. I had no money and couldn’t remember where we were staying so ended up going to his place I was so drunk. I remember his mum tucking me into bed in the spare room! Thank god they weren’t serial killers!

Went skinny dipping on holiday, someone stole our clothes and when we finally came out of the sea the sun was coming up and we had to walk through the town with just our knickers on to try and hail a cab.

Half-fainting and knocking myself out on a toilet cistern when on an early date with dh - luckily a lovely girl who was in there brought me water and talked me round and after a bit I went back out to dance the night away - had a big bruise on my forehead the next day!

Got drunk at a friends party and tried to drag everyone’s husbands onto the dancefloor as there were only women dancing - I can still remember the look of bemusement on their faces as I pleaded with them to dance. I remember feeling like “I’m going to get these boring bastards dancing if it’s the last thing I do!” Would be been fine if they were young and up for a laugh but they were all boring middle-aged lawyer types and just absolutely horrified! They just wanted to discuss the cricket with Jim from down the road and I was drunkenly slurring that they were “ruining sandra’s party by being boring” and physically pushing them onto the dancefloor!

I actually decided to not drink to excess again after that as I was soooo embarrassed the next day! I decided it was time to grow up

There are even more springing to mind (starting a fight with a 6ft 6 inch bouncer which ended up with my then bf getting punched) and I’m actually ashamed of myself! It’s a wonder I’m still alive really.

I drunkenly arm-wrestled my friend. She broke my arm! Had to have my arm pinned. DD was less than a year at the time. Was a total nightmare and I was definitely old enough to know better! 😳🤪

Nearly fell off a roof. Climbed over roofs and on scaffolding
Got totally lost in Edinburgh before the days of Google maps.

So many messy student Glastonbury adventures but the most stupid thing I ever did was agree to do magic mushrooms after an evening on the scrumpy.
Honestly the most horrendous 10 hours tripping my tits off in some dank woods. What an actual bellend.

Demanded a taxi for a 30 yard journey when I was extremely pissed, clueless as to where I was. When I got home (surprisingly quickly 🤪), I went to bed still wearing my contact lenses. All of my housemates were trying to break down the door. I told them I was fine, slept in my lenses, couldn’t see the next morning, cleaned them, felt embarrassed!

Attempted to commandeer a canal barge by un tying it, pushing away from the bank. Climbed on the roof while shouting I was 'Captin Jack Sparrow'. Was all fun and games till the owners woke up and switched the lights on.

@Sunshinesky1981

Got pregnant first night of best friends hen weekend,still surprised I was capable after drinking from about 10am non stop and this was about 2am the following morning,more surprised I didn't get alcohol poisoning,the next night was worse though when fellow impregnater wanted repeat performance and I told him no way as I dont do things like that when sober

Well I got home alright. Couldn't remember anything until I woke up. Went out to the hall and found loads of receipts on the floor. Was confused but then could not find my keys. I had left them in the door on the outside! I had also rolled my duvet between my thighs as a sort of huge tampax if you will and I was on my period!!!

Another time I drank loads of Southern Comfort at a do where loads of us were made redundant. Now I hate the stuff! I got home (was still living at home with family) . Mum asking what that was all down my front, my little brother saying Urgh, she has been sick! Mum made me go to the bathroom and kept asking if I was alright but I wouldn't come out for ages for some reason!