Well that was rather mortifying!

[Whathewhatnow]

Some unfortunate circumstances have seen me having to share the house with my ex-partner, children's dad, during lockdown.

I have a smartphone like most people.
My smartphone is bluethoothed to the car we shared before we split. I occasionally use this car. I love music. Car is always set to play from my phone.

Ex went out to the supermarket whilst the kids were going to sleep.

It's been a looong lonely lockdown. My new man ditched me about 4 weeks ago, understandably, given I had had to move back in with ex fuckhead and I am mid cycle with dying last-ditch eggs bidding for survival.

Ladies and gents: do not under any circumstances watch rude action on your phone whilst bluetooth is turned on. When your bluetoothed car arrives on the driveway, the driver will get something they hadn't bargained for, through the car stereo.

It took me about 10 seconds to think what the fuck has happened to the sound.... bloody bloody bandwidth issues, again! Oh.... fuckkkkkkk

He came in and said NOTHING :) but then he was always really quite squeamish about anything sexual.... honestly I'm dying, but also laughing like a drain...

Cosyblanky blasphemy!

And I apologise if it wasnt clear in my post. Yes, I was viewing some raunchy unsuitable things on my phone and it played through the car stereo. .momentarily....

Oh OP, I'm cringing for you!

Ignore - it's not like you were never intimate! Doubt he'll mention it; if he does he's the arsehole!

@Whathewhatnow are you with my ex-husband?!

If I were him I'd start dropping innuendos into conversation, just to make you squirm

@AlbusSeverusMalfoy did you honestly manage to stop at three Jaffa cakes? Or did you mean packets?

Luckily I am quite bullet proof. And not easily embarrassed. But oh what a mistake-a to make-a. Could have been worse. Could have played through my son's bluetooth-enabled hoverboard. .

OMG! That made me laugh enough to start an asthma attack!

Haha oh gosh this properly made me chuckle!

Oh poor you! But yeah 🤣🤣🤣

It's the sort of thing I'd end up accidentally doing 🙄

I
Presume it was you who posted about moving in with their ex for lockdown after splitting with their bloke. I felt bad for you (?) then.

Not worth a bit of Ex Sex?!🤷🏻‍♀️

Ginger biscuits. We all need ginger biscuits.

When we were kids there were six of us. Jaffa cakes came in boxes of 12 so we got 2 each. We used to make the orange bit 'nude' and stick it on the end of our tongues to make it last longer.

@cosyblanky Jaffa cakes were bigger then too.

@EL8888 I dont think so... not unless we were both with a bigamist...

That happened to my BIL when Dsis had work friends over. Living room speaker.

I’d love a Gold bar. We have none.

@Cosyblanky mmmm I love a nude orange bit. They should sell them separately

Has anyone noticed my slippers are on the wrong feet

I dunno. Jaffas are very lightweight, I prefer a sturdy chocolate digestive.

I keep eating custard creams.

There is NO WAY I would ever sleep with him again. I've just ordered a rabbit and im anticipating much less hassle and much more fun.

No didnt post previously.

@poppinjay I'm sorry for the asthma attack. Sending you some lovely salbutamol puffs.

No, it's far too earl for tulips. Ot too late, depends which way you look at it.

You can still plant your dahlias, though.

@Rochelle89 I think you meant to start a new thread but have ended up in the middle of this one.

Love gold bars. Must mow lawn.