I was thinking about starting this thread anyway but was prompted by another thread that I've commented on but didn't want to derail.
This is half to get things off my chest but half to plead to anyone in a blended family situation to please please think about will/estates planning so as not to leave your loved ones in the horrific situation that I'm in at the moment.
I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.
My Mum left my biological Dad shortly after I was born. He was a horrific man and I have the photographs of my Mum, clearly pregnant with me, sporting a black eye to support this.
I have never, and will never have anything to do with him.
When I was around 2 years old my Mum met, and shortly thereafter married, the man I call my Dad. That was 37 years ago, they never had any other children together and my Dad had no previous children/marriage.
I loved my Dad with all my heart. I never referred to him as my "Step Dad" because to me he wasn't. He brought me up, taught me to ride a bike, took me on holidays, tucked me in at night after reading me stories, went to every parents evening - he did everything for me a Dad does for his daughter including walking me down the aisle when I married DH.
When I was 21 my Mum passed away. My Dad was in bits and I had to step up and make all arrangements. My Mum didn't have a will so naturally everything passed to my Dad. They weren't well off but they had a house which they had bought and paid for equally and my Mums life insurance paid the small balance on the mortgage.
Since then I visited my Dad once a week and spoke to him in between. He came to the hospital when DS was born and from DS started school my Dad picked him up once a week and had him over for tea. DS spent weeks at a time staying with his Grandad during the school holidays, my Dad doing all the things with DS he had done with me as a child.
My beloved Dad passed away just over a week ago due to Covid, he was only in his early 60's.
Within 24hrs my Dads Brother (lets call him Uncle Knobhead) was on the phone demanding that I hand over my keys to my Dads house - making it clear that he was my Dads "Next of Kin" and I wasn't considered family. I refused and told him no one was getting keys until after the funeral, at which point whoever my Dad had named as Executor in his will would be sorting out any financial affairs.
Bearing in mind that legally speaking, Uncle Knobhead was right and had my Dad died intestate then him and my other Uncle (we'll call him Nice Uncle) would inherit everything. At this point I started to get slightly nervous about whether if there even was a will, where was it and could it "disappear" so I went to my Dads and looked for it. This was purely for safe keeping and I cried while I was doing it because I felt like a money grabbing witch! Looking for my Dads will the day after he died was absolute NOT a place I wanted to be.
Turns out my Dad has left EVERYTHING to his 2 nieces (Nice Uncles Daughters) and some to the lady my Dad has been in a relationship with (not living together though) for the last few years.
I am utterly utterly heartbroken. I cried for 48hrs straight.
I never wanted my Dads money or even his share of the house, but my Mum always wanted me to have her share. To leave me nothing just makes me feel like 37 years has been a lie, and that all this time I thought of him as my Dad, the love was never reciprocal and in his eyes, I clearly wasn't "his daughter".
I've sought legal advice and there is nothing I can do.
My Mum could have made a will leaving me her half of the house with provision that my Dad could live there until he passed, but she didn't. She naively thought (as I did) that he thought of me as his daughter.
At the moment, the Executors (Nice Uncle and Dads lady friend) don't know that I have the will, they may not even know the contents but I'd be surprised as the witnesses are neighbours of my Dads lady friend.
I've made all funeral arrangements, selected flowers, music, spoken to the Minister and contacted everyone I can think of that would want to know of my Dads passing.
I've taken family photos from the house along with papers and photographs belonging to my mum before she met my Dad.
Once the funeral is over this week I will be handing over the will and house keys and walking away. I have to for my own sanity.
So my plea.......
If you live in a blended family, for the love of god make a will setting out anything you want to leave to your children. No matter how much you love your spouse and believe they will "do the right thing" if you pass first, forget it. Because they might not.
and those you love could be left feeling as empty, unloved and utterly bereft as I do right now.