For those who are 'well off', how did you get there?

[Ivyy988]

By well off, I mean comfortable enough to not have to worry about money, can buy luxuries, go on holiday etc.

I'm a single parent, study at a good uni (will have my degree next year), but come from a fairly poor family and I really want to never have to worry about money.

I'm not skiled in anything particular, but have a lot of motivation, am very good at saving (although there isn't a lot to save on a student loan) and mainly buy second hand etc.

What is the best way to get there? Am i best of looking for a graduate jon and working my way up? continuing in education? What things helped you get there? (other than inhereted money or where you had a large amount to begin with).

@Asimovsfutureishere2020 why not take a deep breath and ask your manager or someone senior that you trust what it would take for you to progress in your company.

I asked this once and was told that I needed to tone my character down as people didn't know when to take me seriously sometimes and it would prevent me from progressing. I also got told I should work on personal presentation, stop dressing so casually. It was pretty sobering to hear but it was right. I wore jeans and trainers too often, I did muck about a lot, I recognised it as fair comment. I was promoted not too long after taking that on board.

My salary isn’t particularly high- it’s about average but I worked my ass off as a young woman to save and save and save. I could retire now at the age of 50 if I wanted to because of my savings
@Veganella how do you make your savings return so much that you can retire at 50? With interest rates as low as 1% tops, a savings pot of 500k or a million doesn't yield much interest to live on, presuming you don't eat into capital.
I'm not nitpicking but am deeply interested so I can aspire to the same.

Thanks @cantarina

I have done a lot of thinking in the past about how I come across particularly as I have had some difficulty dealing with difficult people at work.

I work very, very hard to prepare, organise, study and 'know' my stuff. I read widely on my topic and around it. I have a tendency to get lost in the small things and consciously try and keep this in mind.

I start an entry level job in the CS after corona and am hoping that I will progress there. I do do the things you have said and I am always positive and upbeat about things - I think I have just had to take jobs in companies that aren't great (for personal reasons that no longer exist) and they have eroded my confidence. It is very frustrating to see everyone move on and have children, plan their retirement when I feel I am just getting started.

I think I didn't aim high enough, have been too critical of what I struggle with instead of focusing on my strengths and need to take it all less seriously ironically. I do actually really enjoy working - I get a huge amount of satisfaction from it.

Loads of luck and opportunity, some assisted via parents giving me educational and experience opportunities, some I did myself.

No one who has millions in the bank got there on hard work alone. Lots of luck involved.
People who are doing alright, can afford holidays etc probably also had a big chunk of luck thrown in.

@pfrench I do believe that if you look closely at everyone, you will always find something that has lifted them to a certain place, at a certain time that enabled them to benefit. Me, too btw.

Most well off people will tell you it’s down to their hard work, but it’s mainly down to luck.

That’s not to say those people haven’t worked hard, but that they tend to overestimate the impact of their hard work and underestimate the impact of luck.

Lots of people who are not well off also work hard - the current COVID pandemic highlights this clearly. And there are many jobs where working harder’ does not make any noticeable difference to the remuneration. Lots of jobs will only earn so much, whatever level you reach.

If you want to be well off choose your career wisely, work hard and make sure you take advantage of any good luck that comes your way.

Chunky run.

That's the nail. It's aiming for money isn't it, if you want wealth.

I think it's harder for the under 40s but what helps is a well paid job so law or tech

@Swingingsally yes. But I can't shake off that feeling that you shouldn't aim for money - you should aim for happiness or health. That if I aim for money it will be at the expense of something important like health or peace of mind.

I'm well off compared to some but have a mortgage and can afford one child at private but holidays only every other year.
My dud was a doctor and worked his way up to head of his department at hospital, taught medicine and opened a clinic, which he eventually sold. My husband was a lawyer in the City. When they died I got an inheritance from my father and life insurance from my husband and have invested well since then.
So i would say choosing a profession that pays well and be willing to work 70 hour weeks for the first several years and then at least 50 hour weeks for the rest of your career is one way of becoming comfortable. You could put that many hours and not get ahead of it's in a not very well paid job, so it's not just the work it's the type of work. Also having drive and ambition, taking risks and seizing opportunities.

Realised that just means I married or inherited money. I also am very well educated but my job was in design in publishing (not well paid at all) and I wasn't that ambitious or driven. I owned my own home though and went on holiday every year.

If you're not chasing £££ look at the public sector, still relatively good pension, progression & job security plus often better maternity packages & flexi working options.

Aims.....

Yes. That's the crux though. Don't complain about it if you didn't make re choices to get it...

I feel exceedingly rich atm and yet between us dh and I earn less than 50.

@LivingAllTheDreams My DD is about to do a law degree so I'm interested in where this could take her. When you say you set up your own business, was this a law firm or something different? I'd like to be able to suggest the most lucrative route for her!

Sheer luck for me. I was a single mum for a decade and struggled on benefits. Came from a poor background, parents were on minimum wage jobs and I grew up in a council flat. Met DH and got married and have been financially secure since then. Having a good partner behind me meant I could retrain and start my own business, which is doing well. I was also able to start investing, which has brought us financial security through sheer luck (a gamble which paid off, so certainly not a guaranteed route to riches). DH's salary still makes up the bulk of the family income (he's a very high earner, so it will probably always be the case). No inheritances or handouts.

We're both naturally frugal and were able to clear the mortgage on our London flat within six years. We don't run a car or have a cleaner. I had one child when I met DH (who I had as a young single mum), and we've had another DC since. But no plans for any more. We don't worry about the cost of our holidays, though we don't go for luxury type holidays, just whatever is comfortable for us (a decent Air BnB that's as good as our own home is fine).

@Cities

what does your DH do? what field of work is he in?

73SunglassesLover

Without going into too much detail, DH is an entrepreneur through and through and some of the things he did at uni were unorthodox to say the least! He was a bit of a hustler but also held down jobs in shops etc and just saved really hard for a deposit. He didn’t pay back his student debts until years after leaving either. He comes from a working class family but he did have the help from dad who is very knowledgable about building/construction so that helped him a lot. Also his mum is a very positive person which I think helped him immensely - she really instilled a “can do” kind of fearless attitude in him. He always says he owes a lot to his parents.

@MoreMoneyPlease if she gets into a magic circle firm she will start on 45k trainee salary & 100k as newly qualified. Become a partner & av salary of 1.5m

DH and I were bright working class kids, first in our families to uni. Both liked to party and neither of us studied as hard as we should have.

Lacked the polish to land really good jobs out of uni, but progressed really well once we got started. Had lots of kids late twenties/ early thirties, plodded along being skint. Me SAHM, DH in a lab.

Someone took a chance on DH in a sales role and he smashed it, being clever and honest and nice. Moved up north for a more affordable life.

Set up our own company so DH could stop working stupid hours and made so much money it was ridiculous.

Salted lots away and retired early (because basically we are simple souls and quite lazy).

My parents are relatively well off. I chose a good degree that guaranteed a well paid job. No kids.

I come from a working class family, money was always an issue, went to the local comp. Left school at 18, retired at 54 (I'm 56 now) with enough savings to last us until pension kicks in at 60, no mortgage on a 4 bed detached house in a south east seaside resort, walking distance to the beach, 2 cars, a motor home and a horse. It was a mix of hard work and circumstance. I always worked in the service sector and in operational management.

Hard work - studied and still gaining qualifications until my early 40s, I've 2 masters degrees, always read/ researched whatever I was working on no matter how familiar it was to me, learnt to be emotionally and physically resilient which wasn't my natural state when I started work(!) but I had to learnt to deal with very long and irregular hours, lots of on call, stressful deadlines, difficult people, worked hard to be visible and approachable so people would tell me how it really was, not afraid to admit where I got it wrong, took difficult decisions, not afraid of promoting those better than me, nor to performance manage those who weren't delivering, took some sideways moves for experience and took on turnaround roles for toxic projects - was always very clear about what I could deliver with these are often the final goal was just not doable but moved them along as much as possible

Circumstance - couldn't have children so worked full time for 35 years, was on a old pension scheme for a long time that means a large chunk of my pension will be final years, only child so sole inheritor and my childhood home, (bought for a pittance even when houses were cheap due to its poor state of repair which mum and dad spent years doing it up as and when they could) which was in a rough part of town that is now hipsterville with associated prices

I worked so hard to do A'levels, degree and PGCE. I have had a problem with my health that meant I missed a huge amount of school and only goy=t mediocre grades but I did my postgrad at the University of Oxford which gave me huge confidence. I went into teaching though and the health problems quickly cam back and I am now physically not great (need to do a lot to get back on top of it all).

Maybe some people just have to choose one thing or another. I don't know. I think some days I have the ability but am now scared at 48 I have missed the chance.

I will buck the usual trend of saying "I worked really really hard & live on beans & rice".

My dad had a great job so I had a lovely childhood & help with wedding, deposit etc. It's impossible to underestimate the safety net of knowing your parents can & will help you out if X happens.

@Asimovs DH works in tech. He's very clever and works hard, but really he got very lucky too - he started working for a big company when it was just starting out, and was offered stock when he started which have massively increased in value.

The thing is I am not sure I am smart enough for the tech world. I am working really hard to learn it all and I don't feel it is beyond me I just know I need to really work continuously with it.

This is not what people see - I get very nervous easily so have to keep calm and relaxed so I work very hard before everything and then when I am with people and at work, I focus on staying as relaxed as possible so I don't get too nervous. Maybe a confidence thing underneath it all.