Please tell me the good things about having a baby

[roarfeckingroar]

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and overall very excited, but I'm a bit overwhelmed by how hard / expensive / exhausting it will be and how my current easy life is over.

Please would you share great things about having a baby / child? I really want the excitement to overpower the fear if possible.

Thank you in advance .

"I suggest stop reading all the threads on here about how shit it's going to be. I couldn't stop reading them and got so depressed, thought I had ruined my life for sure.:

I so agree with this. I do not understand why so many people complain endlessly about their children.

I am the most unmaternal person ever but having my baby is the best thing I've ever done.

@mummyje20 I was the same. Four months in and I am loving it so much. You'll be fine.

The rush of love
The first time they do a belly laugh
Seeing things afresh through a child's eyes , every thing is new and magical

Oh and the first day on your own with your baby. I can remember for each of mine the first day when my dh was back at work and any siblings were at school and nursery. Each one I look back on as one of the happiest days of my life. It's just such a lovely feeling no where to go, no one distracting you, just chilling on the sofa you and your baby.

The good things.. so many! I don't know why people don't talk about it more. Mine is only 2, but she's so funny. We laugh together and play together. She cuddles me and gives me her version of a kiss. They are so fun!

Pre-child, it would take something really huge to give me really huge positive feelings. Now, with DD, I experience huge life highs every day through the smallest little things like her laughing at something, or hearing her say a new word, or her running at me yelling mama when we've been apart.

I struggled a bit with my first, it was unplanned and I never got to do some stuff I'd planned for years, but yes it's lovely and particularly the first few weeks are such a special time. More than anything I'll never forget the look on my husband's face when he became a father, it was wonderful and our relationship is much better with children.

It is hard work, especially the first few weeks while you adjust and at the toddler stage.

My boy is 2, has speech delay and suspected autism and he is VERY full-on!

But my god, he makes me laugh a hundred times a day.
I look at him and think you're so cute a hundred times a day!

He's the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and look forward to seeing his little face.

don't worry about babies being expensive. They can't count so keep it minimal simple and cheap. They don't need all those gadgets and a million toys and outfits theyll soon outgrow.

We borrowed or bought second hand kit from friends, just the very basics, a cot high chair and pram.

Nobody is ever as happy to see you in the morning /after work /during the night as your baby. Their face lights up and they know you'll always come. I didn't find the first few months easy personally, but i never ever regret becoming a mother. My son is now 4 and is the best person i have ever met.

I have a lovely memory of a holiday (dd1 age 1 and me pregnant with dd2). We had a picnic in a field of buttercups. Dd1 is now 16 and I noticed she has framed the picture of me and her sitting in that field of buttercups smiling 💕 . The nice thing about having a baby is having it all to look back on.

I struggled at first but the love I felt for her even then just grows every day. She is now 3 and really is my everything. She hilarious, kind and a little moo but I do honestly feel that having her makes my life full. It was full before but it's even better now. I also say all this as a mother to a child that still doesn't always sleep through the night haha

Their laugh. The first five or six time's DD laughed I cried each time with joy - it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard - my daughter experiencing pure happiness was just about the best thing in the world.
Cuddles - right now she's fallen asleep on me and I'm just about to put her in her basket but I'm holding her a little longer
Her smell - all milky and gorgeous
Her facial expressions
How deeply she sleeps on me - like I'm the safest place in the world for her

I had no idea that I would love like this - i mean I knew I would love her but I had no idea I would love her like this. If I had known I would have started sooner, left time for a second - she is honestly the most wonderful delight and I'm grateful every day that I get to be her mummy.

Looking at a little person you have created with the person you love (most of the time anyway!)

Hearing my toddler dd say ‘I love you mummy’ in her funny little just learning to talk way.
I’m pregnant with my second and it sounds strange because I’ve been through it before but I can’t imagine the love I’m going to have for the next little one, but I know once they’re here, it will hit me.

It constantly changes. Newborn, the smell and little noises they make. Tiny little fingers and toes. Then as they get older, it's just absolutely unbelievable how quickly they turn into their own little person and their personality starts to shine through. My DS is 16 months and just now, it's the new words he's learning, him running to me for a cuddle and how he finds things that are actually meant to be funny, funny. It's the BEST!

I felt exactly like you. I was terrified. But oh my goodness having a child is just so wonderful.

My DD turned round to me a couple of days ago and said ‘I lub (love) you mummy’ for the first time and there is no better feeling in the world. She has given my life meaning and depth.

Ds is nearly 2, here's a few of my highlights so far.

Baby stage:

Cuddles! DH and I used to go and pick up ds even if he was fast asleep if we fancied a snuggle.newborns are such a reassuring weight.
A newborn's entire bum fits in one hand. I appreciate this is an odd thing to point out but their bums are so cute.
Their feet are ridiculous. Like, they're so scrummy. I still kiss the soles of ds feet now.
The little noise, mouth open and arm stretch they do (you'll see what I mean!)
The first laugh- dh and I both jumped back in shock the first time ds laughed. It is a beautiful sound.
Tiny clothes on your washing line.
Weaning is fun and them still being small enough to sit happily at a table whilst you have a coffee and eat your meal is amazing. Make the most if this when you can!

Toddler stage:
When they learn to walk they are like tiny drunken adults and it is hilarious.
Ds himself is hilarious. Hes got his own sense of humor and personality and it's really shining through lately.
Cuddles, still 100% amazing.
They make you so proud with every achievement. Seeing the world through their eyes is amazing.
"Come on mummy!" Said as I'm dragged from my comfy sitting position by the finger toward an exciting thing to be shown.
Kisses are just delightful, even the snotty, drooly, food covered ones.
Ds loves animals and it's so heartwarming to see how gentle he can be.

Motherhood has also opened my eyes to how patient I can be and how much capacity for love I have. Saying that, i didn't get the rush of love at birth and that's ok - we all adjust differently. Yes there.will be sellers nights, teething, financial pressures, but in amidst that you have this small, amazing person who sees you s the most important thing in the world and who you would do anything for.

I think it has improved every single aspect of my life. I don't know how I could adequately put it in to words.

Thank you SO much everyone who contributed to this thread. It was so beautiful to read and absolutely did the job with calming fears and putting me back in a really happy place.

It also made me a bit teary thinking about babies and little children without that love returned to them and without a safe space to sleep and how it makes so much sense that even when adopted young some kids are so troubled from not having these things. You all sound like wonderful mothers.

This thread needs to be in classics. So wish I asked this question before my first born. It’s what every new mother needs to hear

Tbh I didn

Tbh I didn't enjoy the baby stage because I was so worried if I was doing things right.

DC is 3 now and such great fun. If I could go back, it would be to when he was small enough to sleep on me. I get lots of cuddles now but they last a couple of seconds before he is tearing off again. There is nothing like the blissful contentment of a full bellied sleeping baby laying on you.

I’m not a baby person, and found the early weeks quite overwhelming, but watching them develop, grow, learn skills, develop their personality is amazing, so rewarding. Mine are all teens now and are people I love spending time with.

It's a love like no other. My children and now grandchildren are the only people I love unconditionally.
It changes your life but for me it was for the better. Having children made me more confident, less self centred, more responsible and caring.
It's hard work but it is also fun. It's a joy to see their personalities develop and to eventually see them turn into lovely adults that you are proud to know and want to spend time with.

When I was pregnant I kept hearing 'you'll never get a good nights sleep again' and you have no idea how hard it is' or 'your life will never be the same again' and tbh, after an emergency c-section, I was in shock and felt like I was mourning my old life, like I was destined to be a 'mum' rather than a person.

6 months later, I feel like my old self again, I still go out with my friends (obviously not currently) and still dress up, put on make up, love online shopping, eating out, I am still me. But now I have this beautiful, amazing baby, who smiles and laughs and brings me so much joy and happiness. I miss him when he's asleep and can't wait to see him every morning (even though he sleeps about 6 inches away from me) because I know he will be smiling and babbling away and I just love him so much I could eat him.

So actually it does change your life, but I felt like it just gave me more purpose and brought me more happiness. And while they're really little, it's not that hard, they can't move around so it feels like it's basically lots of napping and cuddles.