Chat for those who are shielding

[AuntieSocia1]

Apologies for the very unsnazzy title but as it suggests a place to chat for those who have to shield at the moment. A few of us have been talking on the the Shielding after lockdown thread in the coronavirus topic.

Thought I'd put this in chat as some days I'm guessing we'll want to chat about anything other than coronavirus!

I know all of our circumstances are quite different as well as the reason we need to shield but it's a pretty big thing to have in common. Despite my username I look forward to interacting with you and as my username suggests I might also slink off from time to time!

I've only just found this thread, hope it's ok to join in.

I'm really done with this shielding, today it's hit me. I have been shielding within the home from dh and two teens, separate bedroom etc to dh, no hugs, separate cutlery etc etc. But I just can't carry on like this for much longer and there has to come a point to weigh the risks and start living a bit normally again. I'm used to being housebound for long periods with my lung diseases but this really sucks. Problem is dh is a key worker and comes into contact with possible CV cases (not NHS) so I just don't know what to do. And Ds really needs to go back to school in September, he will be in y12 having missed his GCSEs, and DD back to uni. I think I just have to put up with the risk tbh and go back to semi normal as I'm at the end of this.

May possibly be having a wee ungodly o’clock cry (silent crying skills ftw!) because I am feeling so cross & frustrated. Admittedly have some other Fun Life Stuff like the anniversary of my mother’s death on Friday in the angry-sad mix, but just made mistake of catching up on everything &,well, as I said, have found self crying as a result. Splendid.

More useful & interesting than my ridiculous soggy & feeble behaviour (sorry - I’d delete nonsense above, but am afraid inflicting feeling of Having Told Someone on all of you is helping me shake it off) is Frances Ryan’s Guardian article about the lack of information for [chronically] ill & disabled people re: extension shielding and fact the 70+ age group got a mention in Johnson’s ramblings but not us. She’s written a few articles about shielding SNAFUs if you’re interested.

@MarieVanGoethem thank you very much for linking to that article (although I object to the description in it if us as “disabled” - many/most of us are not). I hope you feel better today. It’s a difficult week for you.

And of course, the comments section under the Guardian article includes the inevitable “Are the most vulnerable not grateful that the entire country has been shut down and the economy wrecked to save them?”. Not the first time I have had this said to me or read it. So delightful to be blamed for the shutdown which is, of course, entirely of our choosing.

I'm so tired of seeing that too, @Egghead68, not least here on MN. It's very wearing and tiresome. :( Also fed up of being polarised up against mental health as if it's a competition (and as if those shielding with physical health issues don't ever struggle with MH issues) - I keep hearing this, again especially here on MN. Because this thing is causing untold ravages to mental health we should stop worrying about physical health because they don't matter as much because they're going to die anyway. I wasn't planning to die for a good many years yet, but never mind.

Thanks @Egghead68. That post took its time posting - is the internet of SE London perhaps powered by elderly gerbils overnight?

On the plus side, my mother’s endocrinologist is long-retired so it can’t be her I’ll have my phone appointment with tomorrow. Because that might be A Bit Much. Any wetter & I could solve the world’s drought problems. Sorry.

I avoided the comments precisely because I feared Much Awfulness. Flaming Norah, how has the concept of flattening the curve bypassed so many people? Ditto reality of the death rate?! And the whole herd immunity business, where the rhetoric of “well the people vulnerable to the virus are basically 3/4 dead already so basically we’re doing them a favour & it’s nature taking its course” was considered acceptable by a disturbing amount of people. And now of course we’ve made up that that ever happened at all...

@Madhairday
Internet gerbils still at work it seems

Can you imagine if people in shielding group said people who were suicidal as result of lockdown should just off themselves & clearly their death from MH issues = inevitable?

It’s bizarre that even in the face of children developing Kawasaki disease; previously healthy adults dying; & a shedload of explanations about flattening the fecking curve; people can still be stupid enough to think that the government did this to benefit a couple of million people. Jesus wept.

I am sheiding due to a recent bone marrow transplant. Community physio now says that i need to get out of the house to walk around or my fitness level will never increase from the zero level it currently is.
Its taken weeks to be able to get up the stairs.
I do agree that the only way to get my wobbly legs working and not get out of breath is to do more but walking to the end of the small street and back is incredibly scary even though its really quiet and im not likely to see anybody

@MarieVanGoethem thank you very much for posting that article, it does feel good that people are speaking up and we absolutely should be making our voices heard (from our own homes!) I have emailed my MP along the same lines and specifically mentioned also the financial implications.

"Soggy and feeble" is definitely a good description of the current mindset although I am usually feeble on a daily basis anyway.

I do wonder if we will hear the hibernating shielding has been extended but we will be graciously granted permission to take isolated walks. The complete lack of logic of not being "allowed" to do this while living in households going to work etc is mind boggling. I think I am just going to do this in the early morning or evening (I need someone with me but DH or DCs will do this).

Also to people with Non Shielding Shit going on. Today is a two year anniversary of a life changing condition for me which came out of the blue overnight and I just feel mentally like I've melted into the floor and can't stand back upright, I'm too heavy (if that makes sense to anyone, probably not!)

The worrying about the furlough announcements later isn't helping.

I put the radio on yesterday and Every Day Is Like Sunday came on. That also didn't fucking help!

ceecee32 when did you get out? In the most unpatrionising way possible, well done for getting through it. I had 2 SCTs and if giving up had been an option there were times I'd have gone with that.

I hope you can get moving (slowly!) A bit more and can get out somewhere nice and quiet.

I've touted myself on the twitter. However I'm being told that there is no assumption all disabled are shielding and vice versa. Have they actually read the guardian piece

Outed!!

Redcherries snap!

Well, nearly. DD starts Y12 in September and I really think she needs to be in school and with her friends by then. I am seriously considering seeing if she can live with friends at least some of the time. She’ll miss the dog rather than me!

I’m feeling throughly pissed off this morning as BBC News did not seem to know the difference between clinically vulnerable and critically vulnerable/shielded - it’s only been2 months for you to learn this and you’re meant to have standards FFS!

Also thoroughly depressing piece in The Guardian today about why new policy won’t work because track/trace/isolate isn’t ready

Time for more

Ceecee32, my DH had a stem cell transplant too. If he's anything to go by, it does get better, really it does! I feel for you at this early stage though - tough times.

Morning to you all, I hope everyone is safe and well. I've had a mopey start to the day but going to attempt some uni work. My grades have taken a nose dive this semester and I'm trying not to be too hard on myself about it but it's tough.

Methtones, its good to hear from someone who has been through it. Well done for doing it twice. I have already said that i dont think I could do it again but when you have no other option.....

I was diagnosed with AML in Oct and had SCT in Feb. It turns your life completely upside down.

So i went for my little walk outside, took me about 5 minutes and i carried walking stick in case it was too much. Good job i went cos the physio has just phoned to check progress

Can you imagine if people in shielding group said people who were suicidal as result of lockdown should just off themselves & clearly their death from MH issues = inevitable

Very good point.

Sorryoo Now is not the time for Morrissey!

I had a good cry yesterday when I found out Monty Don’s dog had died. Ridiculous really, I’m sure it is just my body deciding that is an acceptable thing to be upset about rather than being sad at the possibility of being stuck inside for months on end.

I’m going to start doing a daily walk. My muscles are disappearing through lack of use. We’re rural so the chances of encountering anyone are slim.

Northern Ireland’s plan for leaving lockdown has been published. It’s brilliantly clear & detailed (& available here) but again, no mention of what people who’re shielding are to do. (They get mentioned in passing in one part of the plan. In relation to what other people get to do, naturally ) Think it’s wise they’re not putting a timescale to it but are working to how things unfold instead - seems a much more sensible-realistic way to go about things. You’d think they’d be able to offer people who’re shielding SOMETHING in those circs. Even something a wee bit vague. It is at the point an acknowledgement of existence would be welcome. (Some of my family over there are cocooning [they're using the South’s term as well] & I don’t think they’re going to be v impressed...)

@Methtones - was trying to work out who you’d reported yourself to there... think I’d better try to nap after lunch

@Sorryoo - does sometimes feel as if we’re just being mocked by the universe really, doesn’t it
Hope your MP replies in a helpful & useful fashion.

@iVampire - frustrating indeed, & won’t help everyone else to get it right

ceecee32 - fab stuff on the walking front; reconditioning & rehabbing is Hard Work at the best of times.

I feel I'm being mansplained to on Twitter now....

Well done cee- the first wee while is the absolute worst. My mum got me walking and moving by rewarding me with coffee and cake in cafes - cant imagine how shit it is with no incentives at the moment.

The issue I take with the guardian piece is that shielding and disabled are used interchangeably. The two things are not synonymous and the two groups have overlapping but also distinct issues. A disabled shielder has access to food slots etc. A disabled non shielder doesnt but may still be housebound.

I got a sorry we cant see you but we'll see you soemtime soon letter from the NHS. Im under about 8 or 9 different clinics for various things so usualyl have a lot of appointments. Ive had had a couple done over the phone that could be but everything else needs to be done in person and no chance of that any time soon seemingly.

Fed up again today and i slept in so have only been up an hour or so, there doesnt seem to be much to get up for really, same groundhog day every day staring at the same walls. Id go ANYWHERE right now just to say id left the house, even if it was the tip or similar :(

The issue I take with the guardian piece is that shielding and disabled are used interchangeably. The two things are not synonymous and the two groups have overlapping but also distinct issues

Agree

and I'm both disabled and* shielding.

I will let you all know what my MP says. He is an MP who is very keen on back to business for the sake of the economy. I pointed out DH has always worked and very much wants to work but also doesn't want to kill his wife...

I also said we feel ignored and marginalised despite being the most vulnerable group at highest risk of death. We are, proportionally within the population, a small group and the government should protect us (ideally with paid leave for households along the lines of parental leave E.g. paid and protection from dismissal).

I'm not holding my breath - well I can't anyway due to respiratory issues! Seriously, I am recovering from pneumonia so feel so much at risk, each cough makes DH look at me fearfully.

Hi.. late to this as I effectively stopped going online to protect my mental health but just needed to see what if anyone else in same boat. I have to shield & currently on maternity leave, with 3 month old. Am a teacher normally. Going to take full maternity as even tho it’ll eat into savings, it’s safer than going back to work..

Is anyone else shielding with small baby? I’m trying to work out how I can give her a varied experience of life without going very far! I live in countryside so can go for walks, but worried about her social development. Also, I’m going a bit crazy being stuck in. Has anyone else got to think about new babies and extended shielding?