Chat for those who are shielding

[AuntieSocia1]

Apologies for the very unsnazzy title but as it suggests a place to chat for those who have to shield at the moment. A few of us have been talking on the the Shielding after lockdown thread in the coronavirus topic.

Thought I'd put this in chat as some days I'm guessing we'll want to chat about anything other than coronavirus!

I know all of our circumstances are quite different as well as the reason we need to shield but it's a pretty big thing to have in common. Despite my username I look forward to interacting with you and as my username suggests I might also slink off from time to time!

I'm shielding but is it really "shielding" when there's four of us sharing the same kitchen and bathroom and DH is still going out to work?

I've really stuck to the rules (been out once to the hospital in 6 weeks) but to be honest, I'm thinking I might start going for the odd walk soon. Not in built up areas but there are woods near us where yes, I might see a few people but I can socially distance as I walk past and won't be touching anything.

I haven't seen my parents for 8 weeks - I know, there are so many people in the same boat! But really is it so bad if I drive and sit 3m away from them with my own chair and flask of coffee?

i feel so hopeless right now. Like theres never going to be an end in sight. forgotten and useless pretty much. It further drives the idea that you cant be ill and/or disabled unless you are 'old' and i have realyl struggled to make people see int he past that its just not true. Ive been chronically ill and disabled since i was a teenager, im not old and i feel like only mentioning the over 70s plays into peoples false belief that im faking it :(

@OneNightTimeMenaceStrikesBack

That’s really hard for you but you’re not alone here. The shielding group is small but not minuscule and we deserve our voices to be heard.
I don’t know you but I know you matter in this world and you are important.
I feel a bit hypocritical because I’ve had a sad day and moped around a bit but my PM box is always open if you want a friendly ear.

I read on the Gov doc that there are currently 2.5 million people who are being asked to shield - that's a very significant minority and more than I thought there were.

@Pebble21uk

I suspect the list will be revised. Letters have been sent inappropriately too, such as, people with learning disabilities but no physical health conditions. I don’t know if that number includes people who were, understandably, anxious and didn’t meet the criteria so GP agreed to add them on. But if that number is accurate, then you’re right, not an insignificant number of people.

it feels almost inhuman to ask us to stay indoors with no end in sight. We are people with lives too,many of us work, have families, hobbies and things we enjoy being part of. THis just makes me feel like an outsider all over again

😢 huge unmumsnetty virtual hugs to those having bad days today. We can do this, each in their own way but we will get through, there will be an exit for us, we’ll stay strong together with hand holds on bad days and sharing good things on good days. This thread has to be the most supportive thread I’ve ever seen.

I agree that I’d like society to recognise us as valuable people who can contribute just as much as people who are lucky enough to be healthy. Some people should remember that good health is not given, one illness or one accident can change your life.

@Haenow well said! I woke up one morning unable to move with fast-onset autoimmune condition. Ended up in hospital being spoon fed after being perfectly healthy the week before. I always say to people 'don't take for granted being able to move freely' and they make the right noises and 'mmm yeah, could happen to anyone' but you just know they don't get it, not really. But that (and god forbid worse) really could happen to anyone overnight.

@Redcherries yes!! So nice to have the support of others here (although of course I wish none of you were in this position either but you know what I mean!)

i went from being an average teenager with a perfectly normal life to havign to learn to use my hand and arm again and it never being right since. It can happen to anyone, at any time and though people make all the right noises, they really dont get it a lot of the time, they always think it will never happen to them. it happened to me and i never expected it to

@Haenow I was healthy till 2.5 years ago when a massive chest infection left me with permanent lung problems. It certainly can happen to anyone at anytime but I think people like to live in denial and to reject/other non-healthy people out of fear.

I’m sorry @Egghead68 life is totally rubbish sometimes. :( Is it pulmonary fibrosis you have?

Thanks @haenow - no it triggered severe asthma (sometimes this can happen after a big infection). It’s actually well-controlled for now and I lead a pretty normal life at the moment (covid aside), though this will change. No one can take good health for granted!

Thank goodness for the understanding and general loveliness on this thread. I'm having a bad day (I suspect we all are!) and some of your lovely messages are making me feel really quite teary (possibly with relief).

Ok. So for those of you who have children or work in education, we are included in the government's new advice to education settings.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-implementing-protective-measures-in-education-and-childcare-settings/coronavirus-covid-19-implementing-protective-measures-in-education-and-childcare-settings

Will paste excerpts to save you trawling through.

Firstly, kids:

Shielded and clinically vulnerable children and young people
For the vast majority of children and young people, coronavirus is a mild illness. Children and young people (0 to 18 years of age) who have been classed as clinically extremely vulnerable due to pre-existing medical conditions have been advised to shield. We do not expect these children to be attending school or college, and they should continue to be supported at home as much as possible. Clinically vulnerable (but not clinically extremely vulnerable) people are those considered to be at a higher risk of severe illness from coronavirus. A small minority of children will fall into this category, and parents should follow medical advice if their child is in this category.

Now shielded families

Living with a shielded or clinically vulnerable person
If a child, young person or a member of staff lives with someone who is clinically vulnerable (but not clinically extremely vulnerable), including those who are pregnant, they can attend their education or childcare setting.

If a child, young person or staff member lives in a household with someone who is extremely clinically vulnerable, as set out in the COVID-19: guidance on shielding and protecting people defined on medical grounds as extremely vulnerable guidance, it is advised they only attend an education or childcare setting if stringent social distancing can be adhered to and, in the case of children, they are able to understand and follow those instructions. This may not be possible for very young children and older children without the capacity to adhere to the instructions on social distancing. If stringent social distancing cannot be adhered to, we do not expect those individuals to attend. They should be supported to learn or work at home.

And finally, staff:

Oops, try again:

Shielded and clinically vulnerable adults
Clinically extremely vulnerable individuals are advised not to work outside the home. We are strongly advising people, including education staff, who are clinically extremely vulnerable (those with serious underlying health conditions which put them at very high risk of severe illness from coronavirus and have been advised by their clinician or through a letter) to rigorously follow shielding measures in order to keep themselves safe. Staff in this position are advised not to attend work. Read COVID-19: guidance on shielding and protecting people defined on medical grounds as extremely vulnerable for more advice.

Clinically vulnerable individuals who are at higher risk of severe illness (for example, people with some pre-existing conditions as set out in the Staying at home and away from others (social distancing) guidance have been advised to take extra care in observing social distancing and should work from home where possible. Education and childcare settings should endeavour to support this, for example by asking staff to support remote education, carry out lesson planning or other roles which can be done from home. If clinically vulnerable (but not clinically extremely vulnerable) individuals cannot work from home, they should be offered the safest available on-site roles, staying 2 metres away from others wherever possible, although the individual may choose to take on a role that does not allow for this distance if they prefer to do so. If they have to spend time within 2 metres of other people, settings must carefully assess and discuss with them whether this involves an acceptable level of risk.

This is from the 1st June (assuming schools do go back in some form at that point.

I particularly like the bit where they suggest children should socially distance from shielded family members in order to attend education unless they're too young to understand or 'lack capacity'. At what age do you stop needing a cuddle from your mum???!!!

I’m glad that there are no plans for Scottish schools to go back yet. I’d have to send my children, especially my daughter who is really struggling without school and gymnastics even if it meant me distancing myself from them. That would be hard

@BatSegundo I hope you don’t mind, I’ve copy and pasted your post to the other shielded thread and tagged you. It was relevant to the conversation to the tee!

Thank you for sharing, despite not having small children and being in an ok position I’m so angry at the limbo people shielding are being left in, and the general population have no clue to the problems.

My MIL is very high risk and in December last year she had moved in with us so we can care for her etc. Then lockdown happened and MIL needed to be shielded. It has been going as well as it possibly can be, no garden and tight for space but we have made it work. However, dh and I are teachers, so have been working from home and looking after our little one and mil. Right now we are anxious about the possibility of going back in 3 weeks as it would be impossible to keep our distance from MIL once we are home etc and no childcare for kids either. We really don’t know what we would do.

Also, my dd is 17, shielding with me at the moment but will have to return to sixth form. She lives for cuddles with mum, we snuggle and watch tele on the sofa, curl up in bed chilling on our phones, cook and study together. I can’t stop her return to school but our entire relationship will change in the way we interact together. I dread it. I can’t imagine if she was little.

It’s so hard. I’ve got a dd in year 6 and I don’t want to keep her from being with her friends.