Does anyone else feel like people are just constantly showing off these days?

[Owlight637]

I’m not on any social media but I do have what’s app. Every day I get photos from friends-in the last 24 hours I’ve had photos of:

• a friend’s puppy asleep in its crate

-neighbours decking that they’ve build -a plant pot that a different friend has painted -SIL on the beach with my nephews (captioned with how lucky they are to live so close to the sea) -a 3 course meal that another friend made

I seem to spend all my time replying ‘well done, fantastic, looks lovely etc etc

I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive because quite frankly, (in my opinion) I’ve got nothing worth photographing and sending to anyone (the pizza I shoved in the oven, DS playing on his Xbox, the dog asleep on its chair perhaps?)

Is it me? Am I miserable? I wonder if this is how social media (ie, Facebook or Instagram) is these days and because I’m not part of it I find it odd.

Not really? I enjoy seeing pics of people's plants and flowers and food creations

I think it seems like your attitude towards it. They are just including you in things that don't strike me as "bragging" at all.....just bits of their life. It's general chit chat with pictures.

Your lens is very negative regarding.

@fixitupchappie

Exactly- you put it better than I did. This exactly!

Sorry I’ve really got to get to bed now, long day tomorrow. Thanks for all the replies, sorry if I haven’t replied to any specifics or explained myself very well.

I think people are just trying to connect. We are all living limited lives right now and the opportunities to connect with people are less than they used to be.

I think I am struggling with this right now perhaps because friends are whataspping stuff they normally wouldn't and much bigger volumes of stuff. And some friends suggesting zoom or video call when we would only see each other once a year anyway, so it reminds me how DIFFERENT these times are and I feel it puts me under pressure. On my own with small children and a full time job I also don't have the time or energy to do the activities myself so it is hard for that reason too, but you feel even more negative replying your praise and then following up with details about how you'd never have time to do that.

Ice received and sent stuff with no common interest though, it's just sharing apart of your day, no different from water cooler chat, its just light-hearted fluff, might start a convo, might not, but no harm from it, they're my friends! They're the exact type of things we'd talk about in person too, ooh did the decking at the weekend or baked a cake with the kids total chaos but it tasted good etc.

I don't mind pics of dogs. And food.

For me it's the running. Dear god, the running. I do running. I like running. But I don't feel the need to tell everyone when I've been for a relatively dull 5km.

But what boils my piss is the friend who feels the need to tag me in every time she goes for a run. Every. Time. And puts up exactly the same slightly flushed selfie and a pic of an incredibly boring path. Strava has a lot to answer for.

This thread makes me feel a bit sad.

I don’t live near my family. I think that’s a fairly new development culturally- traditionally people would have been born/lived/married/died in a smaller geographical area than we do today. Sharing pictures and messages is just a way of keeping in touch.

This morning, my sister sent me a picture of her 11 month old’s new tooth along with a message to say it’s finally up and hopefully sleepless nights are going to tether off, I sent her back a pic of my yawning cat saying I’m glad the days of teething are behind me, as a joke.

My fiend had a broken leg so I messaged to ask how it is. She sent me back a picture of her cast and a crying face.

Later, on our family WhatsApp, my SIL posted a photo of the new flowerbeds she dug out this weekend. We sent a few “looks good” responses.

None of this is consequential. It’s just chit-chat. If I lived near my family, I’d see my SIL’s flowerbeds when I visited and would pass a comment on them but I see them so infrequently, I like the random little updates and insights into their lives.

If I send a picture of my pets or a cake I made or something funny I saw that day, I don’t expect anyone to be hugely interested in it, I just like to share what’s happening in my life, even when it’s not big stuff. It’s our “stuff”, and our lives and as uninteresting as it is in the grand scheme of things, I’m interested in what my friends and family are up to day to day.

DH and I have been laughing at someone we know who is showing off so much on social media at the moment.

Photos of her working out whilst standing with their indoor pool in the background (look at meeeee with my pool), tagging the expensive brands of active wear that she's wearing. Photos of the presents her husband orders for her each day (TeeHee yet another pair of Louboutins), photos of the school work her 6 year old has apparently done, photos of all the amazing gourmet 3 course meals she's cooked, and status after status saying just how wonderful lockdown is as she gets to spend time with her amazing husband and kids, and wow what an opportunity to homeschool her kids.

Awful, braggy woman but also good comedy value for taking the piss out of!

Hi, I don't think you need to beat yourself up over feeling the way you do, having said that if you are noticing you might be feeling a little low it wouldn't hurt talking it over with someone you trust.

To me people posting things they have done, witnessed, experienced is just their excitement ,no matter how small it may seem (one that's quite recurrent is posting the weather or meal time). I welcome peoples excitement, it's healthy. Some people are showing off and that's ok too.

Holiday photos of other people can be tedious when there are too many of the same thing, so when someone is showing me so many pictures I get a bit selfish and start using it as a point of reference, does this look like somewhere I want to go. I find it keeps my attention 100% on what I'm being showed/told, I also try and feed off their excitement to not make my mind wonder.

Just remember other peoples posts gets a bit much for all of us sometimes.

I hope you feel happier soon xx

I totally understand how you're feeling OP. I have a 'friend' who shows off about EVERYTHING on social media. I have been trying to distance myself from it. I feel mean and think maybe I'm reading the posts the wrong way. When every post starts with 'I'm so lucky' or 'So proud.....' about things that most other people are experiencing, it's just so tedious.

I know I'm a miserable bitch. 😄

Another reason people like to post the happy little things on social media is that it's quite nice to sometimes look back at your own pictures and remember the good stuff. FB or Instagram have made it so easy to have a positive trip down memory lane.

That being said, I don't think you're a terrible grumpy sod if this stuff doesn't float your boat. If you don't like it, you don't like it. It's ok, just try and initiate the kind of conversations you do want to have with your friends.

OP, I agree with you, random photos of things that aren't very interesting. I might enjoy it from family and one or two close friends every now and then, but it seems continuous at the moment. I'd rather someone actually picked up the phone and we had a conversation!

On social media it drives me a bit cray. But my friend texted me yesterday to ask about caster sugar as her bf wanted to bake. So she texted me a few times with updates on his progress (they are much younger than we are and she is due first baby any day now, and it was his first foray into baking. He was creaming the butter and sugar with his hands). She did text me a photo of the resulting project and I laughed and asked where the top half was (not a sandwich cake) but said yummy if he scrapes off the coconut. It’s just idle chit chat. She wasn’t bragging. She sent me a pic of a bag of SR flour (we make our own as I didn’t think you could buy it here but she found some) and I sent her a bag of berry sugar (which is what caster sugar is here). She was laughing about the flour because he ordered a 22kg bag of plain flour from the bakery but then went hunting for self raising because he was desperate for a Victoria sponge.
I don’t post anything online. I can’t think of anything worse. But I’m happy to send random snaps to a friend in the context of a conversation. She also sent me a photo of his mullet because she was going to attack it with scissors. It was funny because I’d just done the same thing to dd2 (fringe not mullet lol).
Maybe if you replied it would help you figure out context and give a better sense of how they are doing? Turn it more into conversation rather than a one-off photo?
If I had a friend who sent me lifestyle pics I think I’d take it as a ‘nailed it’ challenge and reply with ‘tragic reality’ shot (burned cheese on toast in response to artful patio lunch with wine etc). I do like my friends lol. It’s my duty to keep them grounded so I still like them after the apocalypse

Yes, social media can be boring. My Facebook feed is full of stuff like that. I don't blame people for trying to show their best side, but at the same time it's strangely depressing. I just turn 9ff notifications. It's fine not to look.

I'm in various WhatsApp groups, mostly family ones but also with friends. I would not like to only be contacted by family when they wanted to moan about something or to tell me bad things that had happened to them which leaves general chit chat about cakes they have baked, things their kids have been up to and walks they have been on. We are all confined to the house and work and walks. I'd rather hear about the little things they have been up to than just have silence until they had something negative that couldn't be interpreted as showing off to tell me.

I think many of you are being unfair to the OP. We all know what she means really. There are people who are relentlessly sharing every detail of their lives in order to court attention and validation. She’s admitted it makes her feel a bit rubbish and that all the self promotion feels very alien to her way of living. It’s just her view and I’ve no doubt that others share that view and feel the same. It’s a very valid view and all these ott accusations of jealousy and meanness are totally misplaced.

If it's not on SM people just don't think you have a life. As if it never happened

Madness

I feel the same way and have let some friendship groups slip as they cause me more negativity than positive feelings and I don't see what's fun about it.

Have only read the first couple of pages, but you don’t sound at all miserable or jealous or a bad friend, OP. It’s fucking tiresome receiving a billion messages a day to which the only possible reply is a variation on 😍. I just don’t bother replying anymore and mute most of my WhatsApp groups. Nobody seems to mind, and when I catch up properly with the people involved we have perfectly normal and fun and interesting conversations. Something about having a smartphone compels even sensible people to spam everyone in their contacts with the soft-lit minutiae of their daily lives. Sleep well.

I agree I dont think you are being miserable or snearing. I think thats really harsh

People definitely use whatsapp to show off.

A normal chat might go "hows your day" "fine I baked a cake" picture "how are you" etc. Pictures thrown into normal conversation. Some people will just message picture of cake, picture of run picture of painting. And you can tell by the tone of the message you are expected to just praise.

I find with social media its absolutely relentless showing off, and this spills into how people interact with others. Everything becomes a competition. On MN even you see the competitive cleaning or eating threads, currently competitive coronavirus threads. Everything is just about being betters than others, but I think if yoj are actually content you dont really need validation.

I dont think you are wrong to feel as you do, its hard because we obviously havent seen the messages, so its hard to know if theu are bragging or not, but I dont think YABU to be worn down by the general braggy world we live in.

Yes I agree photos of other people's children, pets and plant pots are rather boring but I really can't see how they are showing off.

I think i know what you mean OP.

I think it's fine to feel the way you do.

How close of friends are these people? I have a group chat with a few good friends. Sometimes we do get the photos etc but I don't feel compelled to respond if it just doesn't interest me.

Then you get all the 'stock' responses such as 'aww so cute' 'that's so great, amazing' heart-eyes emoji and sometimes it can all feel rather a bit....disingenuous? Fake?

That said, it doesn't piss me off or induce any rage though.

I see the usual contrary-loving poster(s) are out in force on this thread again.

If someone came and told you “I bought a flamingo plant yesterday”

Or I went to the beach with kids yesterday

Would that be bragging ? To me it’s just conversation. Sharing information. Small talk. Socialising

Photos is just a non verbal way of doing that. I used to think it’s showing off but now I know it’s now