Does anyone else feel like people are just constantly showing off these days?

[Owlight637]

I’m not on any social media but I do have what’s app. Every day I get photos from friends-in the last 24 hours I’ve had photos of:

• a friend’s puppy asleep in its crate

-neighbours decking that they’ve build -a plant pot that a different friend has painted -SIL on the beach with my nephews (captioned with how lucky they are to live so close to the sea) -a 3 course meal that another friend made

I seem to spend all my time replying ‘well done, fantastic, looks lovely etc etc

I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive because quite frankly, (in my opinion) I’ve got nothing worth photographing and sending to anyone (the pizza I shoved in the oven, DS playing on his Xbox, the dog asleep on its chair perhaps?)

Is it me? Am I miserable? I wonder if this is how social media (ie, Facebook or Instagram) is these days and because I’m not part of it I find it odd.

Another perspective, I never used to send stuff and a supposedly good friend told me that I wasn’t being open enough. Feel like I can’t win.

If its on a group with actual friends I wouldnt say it was bragging. I like seeing a pic of SIL on hols because she works hard. I like seeing MILs dog looking cute because the dog is lovely and it gives her pleasure to show ppl and stay in touch. Perhaps come off for a bit or talk through with a counselor if you feel down.

I should also say I use Teams at work and Yammer is also used but this seems to be people showing pics of pets or telling us how great theyve been.

*It’s just normal life isn’t it?

If you can't take pleasure or at least contentment/satisfaction from the everyday stuff that makes up your life, then what's the point really*

I agree! It’s a bit silly to think you can ONLY contact friends to talk when something major happens in your life because for most people it rarely happens! Normal life is what most of us have 24/7. I think it’s important and is actually part of mindfulness to be present in the moment and take joy in the small things. If you wait until something huge or unusual happens you’ll be just letting life pass you by the rest of the time which is actually rather sad.

If you can't take pleasure or at least contentment/satisfaction from the everyday stuff that makes up your life, then what's the point really?

Well I do from my own life but I can’t say that I’ve ever found contentment or satisfaction from the mundane stuff that other people do. If I bake a cake and it turns out well that’s enough for me, I don’t need to take a photo of it and send it to my friends to get anymore validation from it. It’s just a fucking cake.

Lonoxo that’s another good point. I am quite a private person, I don’t gossip, I only go to my mum, my DH or a couple of very good friends for advice.

OP there's nothing wrong with you. I feel the same way ...it's sad that someone feels the need for recognition/appraisal for every little fart they do. I mean really??

You don't get likes on WhatsApp, though. I wouldn't liken sharing photos over WhatsApp to posting on Twitter/Facebook/Insta etc where people can get into that cycle of wanting likes and retweets. It's just like emailing or texting. Or having a lengthy telephone catchup each week where you describe the things that people now share in a photo. Or writing daily letters back and forth.

People have always shared the small stuff of their lives - because life is all the small stuff - we're just using different means of connecting. Badging every attempt to connect with others as "attention seeking" is a bit tedious. What are all of us doing by posting on here for others to read and respond to our comments if not seeking attention? You can't communicate without seeking attention.

It’s just a fucking cake

Yes but it’s your friends cake. Someone you supposedly care about. No one is suggesting you spend the entire day in a state of ecstasy about their cake but to have such a bitter visceral reaction to what is in your words “a fcking cake” is indicative of something not freeing right within you. I’d examine that further. It’s good to self reflect.

I’ve really got to go now but thanks again for all the replies, it’s been an interesting chat and I’m going to have a think about how I can deal with things a bit better.

What’s app isn’t social media though.

It doesn’t sound like you like whoever “these people “ are that send you images.

You should just reply honestly with how your life is. Then hopefully they'll stop sending you bragging photo messages and talk to you normally.
It's natural to want to withdraw from things that are making you upset or uncomfortable but in this case it might be good to use them as a conversation starter for the conversation YOU want to have instead.

Russellbrandshair you’ve lost me there sorry, it really is just a fucking cake! Unless it’s a wedding cake or something otherwise it’s just cake.

I'd send a pic of a cake I made to my friend, we like to share moments of our day, I ask for the recipe of stuff she sends I like the look of, it's lighthearted just chit chat, on WhatsApp it's not about validation or likes.

So what should they talk about then? What do you deem acceptable subjects? What topics don’t induce rage for you? Because it sounds like whatever they talk about you sneer at it. It would make me paranoid of mentioning anything to you at all tbh

OP I have the same issue right now. In my case it's a recent, intense feeling so it's obviously corona- related - both their (many many) photos and my reaction. I feel uncharitable and curmudgeonly about it. In some of the cases I've identified it's because I feel, for whatever reason, that they don't care about me. In some of the cases it feels very tactless, insensitive to my circumstances and just very.... vain? The photos are filtered and very staged, Instagram style, with props. Everyone else in the group chat responds with "wow stunning pics" "wow could look at that all day!" and "wow, send us more!"

Leaving whataspp groups can't be done in secret and even snoozing notifications isn't great, you still see them every time you WhatsApp.

Anyway, you are not alone.

Mangosocks I can understand that, if you’ve got a common interest, you’ve had previous conversation, you’ve shared a recipe then yes that makes perfect sense to send a photo. If I’ve just decided to bake a cake and then take a phot of it and send it people ‘here’s a cake I’ve just made’, then that’s strange to me but that’s how social media is these days isn’t it and I’m not a part of that.

I genuinely don't think people share stuff like that for validation, unless we're talking about randoms sending photos to randoms.

I care about the lives of the people I care about. It's nice to know what they're up to. If they're feeling good about making a cake I think it's nice to be able share in that. I don't see that as being about seeking or offering congratulations.

To me, it's about connecting not validating.

Russellbrandshair no need to be mean. I don’t sneer at anyone.

"Showing off" or just relaxed and more content than they've been in years and sharing it?

A further thought. In my case it's the group ones that bug me, not one on one threads which I do enjoy.
I don't know why that is, feels more authentic and sincere.

Ok you’re just ignoring it, but I’ll repeat, what’s app is not social media, and it’s odd you’d call them “these people” who text you , not your friends or family.

It does seem this must be group chats you’re on and you don’t really know these folks. So just mute it.

I think the point being made is that it doesn't matter what is in the photo, there is a person reaching out on the end of that message trying to communicate.
WhatsApp isn't really social media. It's a form of communication.

I’m not being mean I’m asking- and you are sneering, you just said it’s a fcking cake.
What’s the harm in it? I just don’t get why this bothers you so much

nopenothappening that’s a nice way of looking at it.