Does anyone else feel like people are just constantly showing off these days?

[Owlight637]

I’m not on any social media but I do have what’s app. Every day I get photos from friends-in the last 24 hours I’ve had photos of:

• a friend’s puppy asleep in its crate

-neighbours decking that they’ve build -a plant pot that a different friend has painted -SIL on the beach with my nephews (captioned with how lucky they are to live so close to the sea) -a 3 course meal that another friend made

I seem to spend all my time replying ‘well done, fantastic, looks lovely etc etc

I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive because quite frankly, (in my opinion) I’ve got nothing worth photographing and sending to anyone (the pizza I shoved in the oven, DS playing on his Xbox, the dog asleep on its chair perhaps?)

Is it me? Am I miserable? I wonder if this is how social media (ie, Facebook or Instagram) is these days and because I’m not part of it I find it odd.

I agree. I had a video call with a friend earlier this evening. I mentioned that I'm now area co-ordinator for our Covid-19 Mutual Aid Group. First comment - it's not on facebook! I'm also sewing scrubs, also not on facebook. It also annoys me when people don't just quietly and without fanfare join our Covid19 MAG, but announce their arrival with a bloody biography.

OP, the flip side of showing off is insecurity, they are begging for reassurance that their lives are great and fantastic because really they’re not so sure...
It’s not your responsibility to reply, you are only feeding their need if you do.
By all means look at the photos, tell them to eff off in your head then get on with your own life.

I actually got rid of my smartphone because of WhatsApp. It’s even worse than FB cos you can’t just scroll on by, you feel it is a message directed at you so somehow you can’t ignore it.

I am well aware I am not down with the kids on this but I do not care. Ai am so busy in my life I just can’t cope with the extra stimulation of WhatsApp and the like.

I think people are confusing this with social media. What’s app is a messaging service, basically texting.

Oscarthegrouch47 you’ve hit the nail on the head. It does feel like a moments nothing if you haven’t taken a photo of it and published it for followers to admire.

Bluntness100 I genuinely don’t know if you’re right or not. I am fed up at the moment for obvious reasons but when life is ‘normal’ I think I’m reasonably happy. I’ve been with DH for 20 years, happily married but at the plodding along stage, just turned 40 but I can’t say that bothered me, fulfilling job in the nhs, DS is a teenager, comfortable financially, we have a couple of nice holidays a year and little treats and trips throughout so nice things to look forward to. I feel like I am engaged and I’m happy enough. Maybe I’m not though! Maybe there is something wrong with me if these photos wind me up so much.

They whatapped you the images? That's the opposite of bragging as they're only sending it to you personally?

If it was on FB then fair enough but it's personal and starting a conversation?
I send my family photos all the time and vice versa

I think you're insecure and being a bit green eyed

What's really irking me is all the people who previously travelled and ate out and went to gigs and hashtagged everywhere about it have now decided to get their boost of self worth from posting pictures of themselves 'in the countryside' #countryside! #walk! #beautiful! #socialdistancing!
Yeah it's nice people are enjoying nature more now but I can't help feeling some people have just commandeered it to have something to post for validation now they can't post the things they'd normally (prefer to) do.

You see, all of those messages and photos would have made me smile. I enjoy seeing people's little achievements and hobbies. I really wouldn't read too much in to it.

nancyjuice7 well no it’s not the opposite of bragging, that would surely be them not sending me the pictures. I’m these people are all on insta and fb so I’m pretty sure I get sent them as they know I can’t see them on their social media.

Maybe I should just get rid of what’s app. I’ve been so much happier since deleting Facebook (10 years ago!). I feel like it’s creeping back into my life.

Op is this group chats? You call them “these people” . So clearly not friends or family.

If it’s group chats and you’re envious and feel they are bragging leave the groups.

Agreed, an old friend started a photography group on Facebook, it has turned into a competitive 'my holiday/camera/family/job is the best.

Honestly it just sounds like visual representation of what is going on in people's lives at present.
None of it sounds particularly boastful.
There isn't that much going on in anyone's lives at present a sleeping dog and a painted pot are probably as good as it gets.
I'm wondering if it does say something about how you are feeling at present? Unless pictures like this have always wound you up?

Fluffiest that’s how I want to feel and some days I do and other days it’s just way way too much.

Ah shit, maybe this is me. Maybe I am a horrible, jealous, middle aged misery guts.

As an example, we redesigned our kitchen recently. Completely gutted it, DH did most of the work himself. It’s beautiful. It never crossed my mind to take a photo of it and send it to anyone. When people have come around they’ve seen it, I wouldn’t shove it in people’s faces though. It feels totally alien to me.

You’re just an introvert, it’s ok! Delete WhatsApp!

They're all the type of photos I send and get sent from my friend on whaysapp, a painted pot, food pics and a sleeping puppy doesn't sound at all like boasting, just sharing glimpses of fairly ordinary life!

OP I totally totally get you! I'm not on FB but I might as well be as all I get all day on WhatsApp is plates of food, the children's 'amazing' creations, etc etc.

I was feeling under pressure to constantly comment that's nice etc and was getting so so sick of as quite frankly I don't give a f*ck what these people are having for breakfast/lunch/dinner or what their kids are making or doing.

Now I just absolutely ignore every message and don't comment anymore. It makes no difference! They still keep sending them!

Now I've just started deleting these messages as they come in. I'd love to leave some of the WhatsApp groups I'm on but I think that would cause offence. So I switch off notifications and delete.

I wouldn’t think any of your examples were showing off! When I read your title I thought you meant people on facebook posting pictures of their brand new car or duck faced selfies.
I’m sorry but I see nothing wrong with the examples you listed at all. In fact I’d LOVE to see puppy pictures, they’d bring me much joy.

I think you are overreacting. Maybe think about why this bothers you so much and what do you contribute to the discussion?!

It’s the way our world is now. People’s everyday lives are treated as ‘news’ and for some people, if it isn’t on social media, it didn’t happen!! It’s the same impulse that drives toddlers when they scream for your attention. That side of us never fully matures!

I don’t suppose the psychology is that complex - it comes from insecurity. They appeal for external validation with a photo and for five mins it makes them feel good to get praise but then before long they are feeling insignificant again and feel like they more validation to feel good again. It’s addictive. They can’t feel like a good parent for instance, unless someone else notices that they’ve baked bread, had a no screen day or got the paddling pool out. It becomes an ongoing cycle with the comments feeding the addiction but it can also be counter productive as their self esteem plummets if they get few likes or comments.

I think you either have to feel sorry for them or just distance yourself from it all by looking at social media less or hiding them from your news feed. Whatever you do though, don’t allow yourself to be sucked into doing it yourself. Cherish your private moments and memories just as they are, however simple they seem to be.

I’ve got to get to bed now. Thanks for all the replies, they’ve given me lots to think about.

I suspect this is a mixture of things for me-the way I was raised, me not being used to the culture of social media, a bit of jealousy, sheer boredom at the amount of pictures people take and send, going through this difficult time.

Someone said I didn’t sound like a good friend and I sincerely hope that’s not the case. I think I’m actually a very good friend but maybe to be a better friend I just need to come off what’s app, maybe it’s just not for me.

And yes, it just wouldn't occur to me to send people photos of my breakfast or dinner even if I had gone to a lot of effort and it was a 'photogenic' meal. To me it would be attention seeking behaviour, showing off and needing validation none of which I can relate to.

I think you're actually being unreasonable, but do get your reaction if you're feeling low.
I actually felt like this recently about a friend eho sent pictures of her baking (which I would normally be happy to see) but she hadn't messaged me in two weeks and i had just in my head decided i guess I thought we were closer than we really are..
I'm sounding pretty pathetic but I don't have many friends who are messaging me at all so i guess i just have to take the crumbs (hahaaaa probably why the lack of friends)
I would love to see photos of people's puppies so on that account you are completely unreasonable

Rainbowb interesting reply which makes a lot of sense!

It just sounds like people sharing their life with you. I don't need it in real time or attached to motivational quotes, but it's nice to share in the good bits and things that have made people smile, I think.

It’s just normal life isn’t it?

If you can't take pleasure or at least contentment/satisfaction from the everyday stuff that makes up your life, then what's the point really?

It's just Bollox. People believe they have to do this because others do. Newest thing is zoom and someone was pestering us about using that. Given they couldn't be arsed skypeing then whats different? You can tell social media is disliked here

I think you have to remember it’s ONE SECOND out of their day. I had a really good experience actually when DD2 was little and quite high maintenance / low sleep and we’d had a fucking awful day frankly, lots of screaming and pulling food off supermarket shelves and not going in the trolley and all sorts. And then she asked for - I forget, Play doh or craft or something, so I got a bit out, and she just looked so gorgeous sat there that I snapped a picture and put it on FB, without much comment and lots of comments saying how cute she was. And I was really struck by what the picture said about me and my day, as opposed to the shitshow my day had been. I’ve always kept that memory in mind when I’ve seen picture perfect snaps.