Pets that Steal food (lighthearted)

[SpiritEssence]

I left my sandwich on the side and my cat stole it was a first time for that as I went and did something for a few minutes and thought she was out

DDog will eat anything. He's such a greedy bastard but I think it goes with the breed. He can be asleep in the garden and if I creep in to open the fridge quietly he standing behind me within a nano second. Never seen anything like it. I also have to show him my hands after I've finished eating just to prove that I am not hiding food from him and that I have actually finished. Otherwise, he just sits and stares at me endlessly.

Our recent dpuppy has grown so tall she can see onto the table now. As I went to get the TV remote she grabbed the top of my sandwich with zero effort!!

www.reddit.com/r/CatsAreAssholes/comments/dvvthp/bringing_home_the_bacon/

My meezer is all dog.
Even rips bin bags.

When I was little we had a dog that took a rack of ribs straight off the barbecue.

He was a Great Dane and despite being easily tall enough, never once took food from the table or counters inside the house but obviously outside was fair game!

Current dog is a springer and is actually very well behaved regarding food. For now anyway, he's only a year old so there's plenty of time for that to change.

My late, very naughty spaniel once strolled into the house with a whole roast chicken in her jaws. We decided not to ask any of the neighbours if they'd lost one.

Current spaniel gets up on her hind legs in the kitchen and uses her front paw to pull anything within reach on the worktops towards her. We've learned from experience to make sure all food is out of dog reach.

Years ago we were sitting round the table after a Sunday roast when the chicken carcass started moving, the family dog was pulling the tablecloth in the hope we wouldn’t notice it sliding off into his jaws, funniest thing we ever saw. He didn’t get it.
Same dog ate a box of about 30 mars bars from the cash and carry that was inside a cupboard, we came home to bits of wrapper all along the hall and a smug looking dog curled up on the sofa, still no idea how he got into the cupboard😳 actually really lucky as we didn’t know then that chocolate was not good for dogs, he loved it, he could be asleep upstairs and if you unwrapped a chocolate he was downstairs in front of you before you’d got the wrapper off😁

My cat once swiped a sausage while it was cooking under an eye level gas grill.
I heard to cat flap go and then watched him through the window trying to ingest a hot sausage quickly.

My cat brings in slices of bread and sits very proud of herself, like she has saved us from the bread overlords.

Our puppy has grown an extra inch or two and I made the mistake of leaving half a roast chicken on the worktop to cool whilst we ate the other half. DH made the coincidental error of leaving the kitchen door open!

My lardy-arsed saggy bag of a siamese has a thing for gluten free buns (in unbroken packet), and miniature corn (in its wrapping). If I don't put these away immediately, I'll hear the melodic thumping of her dragging them up the stairs, to gnaw on them through the wrapping. I mean - I can leave out a leg of lamb, sausages, or a cooked chook - she doesn't take those - but apparently gluten free buns and miniature corn are totally irresistible. . . WTAF?!

Our family dog, when I was a teenager, once leapt up like Jaws and swiped an entire roast chicken as it was being carried to the table. Ran out onto the decking and devoured it all.

so, dd (12) asked to make chocolate banana bread. No bananas left ever as they are always eaten.
For a whole week she didn't eat bananas. 2 nice ripe bananas left. All afternoon spent cooking and waiting for the chocolate banana bread. Huge (really, like 14 inch loaf) beautiful banana loaf fresh out of the oven. One modest slice each. Delicious. Loaf pushed to back of the cooker, out of reach (!) to cool.

we went to watch TV.

Dog ate it. The whole lot. At least when I came back into the kitchen he had the grace to slink out quick sharp.

Beerydog 1 used to be able to open the fridge. We had to get a child lock after he and Beerydog 2 nicked a whole gammon joint. And eggs, cheese, butter (that didn’t end well...!)

Beerydog 3 can jump onto tables or work surfaces, and regularly tries to help himself to our glass of water.

Beerydog 1 once walked past my DDad while he had a sandwich held around waist height. Jumped up, pinched the sandwich, and never even broke stride. I couldn’t help as was laughing too much.

Used to have a lovely cat, on various occasions he dragged home a pack of bacon, a cooked pork chop and most of a chicken. We never did learn where from 😳

Another cat brought us a cooked Brussel sprout 😂 I have no idea!

Also once opened a bag of fruit gums, bag split and they went all over the floor. I think beerydog 1 got more of them than I did, watching him chew them was amusing though 🤪

I buttered a slice of malt loaf and momentarily turned around to put milk in my tea. My malt loaf slice was gone. Haribo, my 5 month old kitten, had taken it and deposited it on his food mat for later. There was no way he was having it, I picked it up and ate it. I really don't care about the 5 second rule especially when it comes to cake.

@HarrySnotter a lab??
That’s exactly what we have to do with our hands to prove there’s no food left.
He once ate our neighbours Christmas cheesecake, thank god it was leftovers!🙄

Our cat pinched a roast potato off DP's plate the other week. He must hopped up on the chair and got his chops around it! Think he was actually after the chicken.
Today's victims were some waffles.

We had a cat that would pinch anything off the kitchen, she always throw some down to the dog to keep her quiet😁

I knew a cat that used to get really aggressive when lettuce was about. I'm talking claws and growls.

We inherited a greyhound and he ate half a loaf of bread and some butter and promptly upchucked it, the stain from the butter never did go.

@gracielooloo a lab?

How did you guess? 😂😂😂

Labs aren't dogs-they're walking black holes.

Ddog2 is a kleptomaniac at the best of times. He is slightly better now than he was as a puppy. His best had to be scoffing half a box of chocolate champagne truffles from the coffee table his first Christmas. He had just learned to jump onto the couch and jumped from there to the coffee table. That was a quick trip to the vet to get his stomach pumped.

I caught one of my cats with the joint of roast pork in his mouth that he had just stolen from the side of the kitchen. He was normally too lazy to jump up that high. We gave it a quick swill under the tap and no harm done.

A friend's newish puppy helped itself to some wine from a glass that had been placed on the hearth and was totally pissed.

My old cat was a darling fluffy thing that never, ever stole a thing. Until the day she lost her shit completely, leapt onto the dining table and grabbed a whole steak off my plate. She legged it to the other side of the room and sat there, all wide eyes and surprise, with it hanging out of her mouth. I don’t know which of us was most surprised!

The cat we had at home when I was at primary school was a big fat neutered tom who thought that all food belonged to him. We once found him on the kitchen worktop in the process of licking all the cream out of four cream horns that had been left out for tea. He'd got halfway down the third one and he bit my mum when she snatched it away from him.

Not quite the same thing, but when I have my snakes out for a cuddle, they are mad keen on drinking the tap water from my tumbler instead of the nice spring water they have in their vivaria. It's not good for them because of the chlorination but they seem to love it for some reason. I can't drink it after they've had their rat-eating faces in there

My cats laugh in the face of the idea felines are [obligate] carnivores. I think they think I’m making it up in order to deprive them of my delicious vegan food.

We’ve to lock the fridge as well as the kitchen cupboards as otherwise they’ll climb in & steal what they fancy. Apparently they also aren’t on board with “cats can’t taste sweet things” because they will demolish jam tarts, cake, jam doughnuts (they chomp through to eat the jam), biscuits/cookies of any and all kinds, & marshmallows should they ever get the chance. They are MAD for crisps (but will put up with popcorn if that’s all that’s available to filch) & very fond of cereal bars/flapjacks/protein bar things. If they can get near a bowl after I’ve finished eating they MUST sample whatever it was, from almond/soya ice-cream to pasta or shepherd's pie. Toast & sandwiches require careful guarding - they’ve now figured out how to open my rucksack, so packed lunches are not safe...

Essentially, I live with a pair of fluffy wee criminals who make Macavity look like a rank amateur. Good job they’re exceptionally cute.