Would you ask this woman for the money back or just never have anything to do with her again?

[EatingIsMyHobby]

I stupidly lent a fairly new friend £50 about two months ago. I know her through the gym I attend and she gave me a story about her and her boyfriend not having any money as he'd been off work and she was between jobs.

For various reasons, she has turned out to be a using cheeky fucker. She now has a well paid new job and despite repeatedly saying for a month that she was going to pay me back, she didn't and has now gone quiet about it. She mentioned at one point that she would pay me back £2 per week!

She has, during lockdown, repeatedly put pictures on her Facebook of new things she's bought online; clothes, shoes, make up. She also sent me a FB message a few days before lockdown to show me photos of the new haircut and colour she has had done!

I don't technically need the money but her cheekiness is pissing me off a huge amount. I'm unsure of whether to a) message her via FB or text and tell her she needs to PayPal me the money ASAP. She is so self absorbed and dramatic that she will no doubt think I'm horribly unreasonable and being mean to her and will fall out with me. Or b) do I just write the money off and just have nothing to do with her again, ever.

Either way is going to be awkward for me as the gym is a very small, close knit place and we are all friends and often have nights out so it's going to cause an atmosphere.

At the moment it's just winding me up so much and for my own peace of mind need to do one or the other.

Ask her for it in front of them!

Write it of. Learn the lesson

I lent money to people I had thought were friends and every single time it was hassle. No more. One said he couldn't even remember the loan but he would give me the money as a nice gesture to me!! Another was a work colleague who kept promising me the money until she was sacked for stealing and I never saw her again. Another man I was close to actually became extremely abusive to me, obviously to get out of paying it back, as the friendship was finished then.

It is a lovely thing to be kind, OP, but I hope you learn like I did that many, many people are takers and users and don't lend to anyone again.

She’ll just defriend you

Talk to the other gym women. Find out if they’ve been approached for money too and explain what’s happening

That way when all this is over and you still haven’t been paid back they will be 100% on your side.

My husbands cousin wanted to buy some brid a Brad..ok tat then for a stall and didn’t have the £200
So I offered to lend it to him.
He said while he was rubbish at paying back...you know when someone tells who they are.....he would pay me back plus interest.

So, I waited and waited and got on with life in between...and then two years had gone by and I got angry and I wrote to him and said I’d like my money back .
I got a nice letter back and the money..with interest..that I didn’t want.
Show people how you want to be treated.
This was having an effect on the family relationships..and one day I just thought..sod that..why should he treat me this way.

So tell her, every time you see her. I’d like my £50 back.
End of

Get it in writing via text or messenger and go judge Rinder it

Morally I’d say ask her your money back.
Legally though you haven’t got a legit stand on.
She’s thick though as she can’t ask you again.

Given her a nickname - make sure everyone who knows her knows about this.

FiddyQuid or Fiddy for short.

Cos that’s what she owes you.

People like this behave this way because there are far too many push overs who let them get away with it. Of course you make sure you get it back and tell her firmly you will not be fobbed off or letting this go.

Thank you everyone!

I did send her a message in the end, saying that I need her to pay the money back by this Friday, and giving my PayPal address. She has, so far, read the message and ignored it.

Even if I do get the money back I'm not going to have anything else to do with her; the whole situation makes me feel so pissed off and angry. She did other things too that were taking advantage of my good nature and I feel like an idiot for helping her out.

Good for you!
Don't blame yourself, there's cheeky fuckers everywhere!
Have a on me!

You’re probably not the first person she’s done this to. Don’t let her get away with it.

You need to be like a dog with a bone, don't give up

Well done, keep at her!! It's the principal, not the actual money, she can't be allowed to think you're a pushover.

Now you see a NORMAL person who had forgotten would message you back “omg, am so sorry, will send that ASAP!”

The fact she’s ignored you shows she knows exactly what she’s doing.

Operation BubbleBurst then. Ask everyone you know who knows her if she’s borrowed from them too. That way she will be outed for the scammer she is.

And make sure you ask her face to face every time you see her!
Chances are she’ll leave the gym and you won’t have to have any awkward stuff to deal with.

I think youve done the right thing op. I'd check your account on Friday and if money still isn't there I'd be messaging her a reminder and say you need it to order essential supplies/Friday takeaway - whatever is relevant. If she doesn't send the money Friday, I'd be sending her daily requests and then start commenting on any Facebook posts that involve her spending money!

I'd shame her and ask for it publicly on her Facebook wall.

If she gets the hump, so what?