Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Any introverts out there appreciate this time?

148 replies

slartibartfastsbeard · 08/04/2020 23:37

I'm just enjoying the chance to be at home and not feel exhausted all the time by social interaction. I'm reading but not responding to group chats about having a big get together once this is all over. I'm just relishing the fact that I can now, unashamedly, stay at home for days on end with a good book or box set and not have to deal with the draining effect of social interaction. That's not to say being at home 24/7 with DH and two teenage boys is a bed of roses, and DH being furloughed on basic wage plus a drop in income for me is extremely worrying, but I find I'm more able to deal with the important things now that I don't have to have other people filling my head.

Any other introverts out there feel similar?

OP posts:
ByAppointmentTo · 09/04/2020 14:07

I am really struggling! I'm not getting any time on my own because of having the children and DH here ALL THE TIME! I used to love taking the dog for long, solitary walks but now I have the children with me to get them out of the house. I can't wait for things to go back to normal so I can have some time on my own again.

MyCatTibby · 09/04/2020 14:25

I’m loving it. Being home and not having to interact with anyone or have to commit to anything social is my heaven. I’ve even turned off all my social media notifications so I don’t know if I’ve had any messages until I specifically look. It was getting too much. I’ve got hubby here so not on my own. I’m loving just pottering around the house and garden, reading, watching movies and box sets. Absolutely loving it.

LadyMadderRose · 09/04/2020 14:34

I'm with the introverts who are now stressed because the kids are here all the time! It is the holidays now so they would be anyway, but I'be counting the days until the first day back so I could unwind. I work at home normally so I'm used to getting the daytimes alone. On the plus side they can go to their dad's sometimes - otherwise I would have really struggled.

They are lovely kids and we all get on - it could certainly be harder. I'm very glad they're not toddlers. But the need for time alone is so huge - it's like the need to breathe. I'm trying to keep working but it's so hard to focus with people around.

I am liking the general distancing effect though - I have a large "personal space" bubble and don't like squeezing up close to people in the street for example. I like everyone being at arm's length and fewer people around.

As for all the social media, zoom etc stuff and constant news stories about how people are managing to get together virtually and have singalongs and whatever.... Good on them and I know it helps people who aren't introverts - but the whole idea of video conferencing makes me feel panicky. I work at home so I don't have to interact with and see people all the time!

notangelinajolie · 09/04/2020 14:35

I rarely go out so nothing much has changed for me. My normal has now become my family's new normal and although it's been lovely to have a full house instead of just me on my own, I am missing my nice silent home.
I think my family will quickly revert back to the previous status quo one this is all over because I'm not entirely sure they are converts.

LadyMadderRose · 09/04/2020 14:38

I do miss coffee shops though. I used to love popping to the coffee shop to read and have a cappuccino after school drop off, before going back home for the working day - or working in the cafe if I felt like it. It's a change of scene, and someone bringing you a lovely coffee (I'm a single parent so that's special for me), without having to be super-sociable.

LaneBoy · 09/04/2020 15:01

Yep. I’m autistic/ADHD and have been at breakdown point a lot over the last year or so. In all honesty my mental health is currently the best it’s been for ages.

I do miss particular things especially swimming but just having so much outside pressure taken off has been really helpful for me. We are lucky not to have the financial worries at the moment and we moved to a bigger place with a little garden in 2018 so I do recognise that as a big factor in why I’m able to enjoy it. I’m also less stressed as I’m fairly sure we’ve had the virus already, but I do still worry and hope the antibody test will be available at some point.

In particular I’m excited to have more time to work on the house a bit, everyday life is usually so busy that we are too stressed and exhausted to declutter even when we have time.

It’s really making me think about what changes I want to make to life after this. I’m planning to discuss this with my therapist next week (via video chat of course) - normally we deal with anxiety, low mood and trauma stuff but at the moment I’m doing so well I don’t feel I need to! I’m so excited to have a more positive session.

Runnerduck34 · 09/04/2020 19:13

Yes I love having all my teenage dc at home with me and not having to rush round like a headless chicken all the time. My dc have bonded like they did when they were little, lots of family time , less pressure. Also enjoying WFH which my boss was resistant to us doing before so I'm hoping in the future they will be more flexible.
Downside is not being able to see my mum and sister and catching a virus, probably the virus but cant be sure. Had mild symptoms but it was a bit scary and 2O days on have only just started to feel better and I am getting out of breath easily but definitely in the mend

Overthinker1988 · 09/04/2020 20:33

Yes, the brain fog has lifted, I'm not stressed anymore, don't feel anxious and have more energy. I'm WFH and loving it, all my colleagues are complaining about not liking it but it's heaven for me, not being interrupted every 5 minutes by chatter and background noise. It's just me, DH, dog and bump. I can potter about cooking, spring cleaning, "nesting" and reading in my free time without feeling guilty that I'm not seeing people.
I do however miss being able to go for walks in the country (it's not far but it's driving distance so against the rules), swimming, pregnancy massage, shopping, and just generally having the freedom to go where I want.

dustybluebell · 09/04/2020 22:00

What stuntbanana said. Just loving the time off, and glad I dont have to make any excuses not to meet with anyone. (Even extended family) love just being home with DH and 3 kids.

Bopalopashamalamadingdong · 09/04/2020 22:01

Loving it

TheNestedIf · 09/04/2020 22:56

I'm thriving. I'm working from home so not as much pottering time as some but that's fine as I'm so much more productive when alone and that in itself is a pleasure. I'm also enjoying being able to walk around with people veering away from me on the street instead of veering into me for a change.

The one slight hitch is an extremely extroverted colleague who is climbing the walls for company, despite being holed up with their family. They've taken to ringing me (and everyone else on the team, I suspect) with "questions" that are actually just an excuse for a lengthy chat. I'm happy to have an occasional chat but I have given them their own ringtone of Chas'n'Dave's "Rabbit" so that I don't accidentally pick up if I'm in the middle of something urgent.

AngryPrincess · 09/04/2020 22:56

Yeah, I’m having a really nice, quiet time. Feel guilty because I’m enjoying it so much.Loving time to meditate, have a lovely walk and play the piano. And just sitting in the garden listening to birds. Kids are ok. Oldest was having some trouble at school, so he’s really happy.

frugalkitty · 09/04/2020 23:14

I do miss the daily chit chat (which I enjoy) but I'm a homebird so very happy here in my nest. My kids are older so although they're home they can get on with the online school stuff (or not in DS1s case, it's only A levels after all Hmm) and DH is working from home now as opposed to working abroad which has been the biggest adjustment as he's so bloody needy/touchy feeley and has no idea about personal space! You remember doing PE as a child, running into the hall and being told to find a space? That's me and DH Grin

I also don't understand this obsession with people needing to video call all the time, just send a text! Not that anyone is trying to video call me, my circle of friends isn't very big these days and the friends I've kept would know that it would stress me out.

LavenderLilacTree · 09/04/2020 23:17

Yes!

MrTumblesSpottyHag · 09/04/2020 23:30

I'm really enjoying not spending hours rehashing conversations in my head and questioning how people interpreted what I was saying. I hadn't realised how exhausting it is but now that I'm not talking to anyone my brain is a much quieter place.
DH and DCs are pretty introverted too so we're all kind of bumbling along.

MrTumblesSpottyHag · 09/04/2020 23:31

I have some friends who keep suggesting Zoom meetings for a girls night in. I do NOT want that.

eaglejulesk · 09/04/2020 23:31

I'm an extroverted introvert, in that I enjoy the social interaction in my job, but love to be at home and not go out.

Hooray - I've been sitting here wondering how to describe myself and @LittleCandle you've done it for me!!! I am exactly as you put it.

I've been unemployed for a while - just doing temp jobs - so my life hasn't changed much and I love being at home pottering about, with a good daily walk. I could live like this for a lot longer Smile

Insideout99 · 09/04/2020 23:33

I'm an introvert. I never had a social life and I massively miss my freedom Sad

managedmis · 10/04/2020 02:12

I managed a virtual coffee last week. I draw the line at virtual cocktails!

I'm loving being home, no commute, time to cook and garden and be outside.

Pinkarsedfly · 10/04/2020 02:19

Me. I’m shocked at how well I’ve adapted and how much better I feel with no outward demands on my time.

I haven’t been bored for a second, and feel utterly free - which is ironic.

Food for thought, really.

lifestooshort123 · 10/04/2020 07:27

I love social distancing; queuing for 40 mins to get in supermarket (listening to birds singing and admiring cherry blossom) and then having it nearly empty with no awkward social chit-chat in queue as nobody can hear and they all look at you as though you've got the plague anyway; the postie ringing the bell then scurrying off having left my parcel ON THE MAT for a change; not having to make polite conversation with neighbours you don't get on with... the list is endless!! But I do miss coffee shops and having a flat white on a park bench.

RosesandIris · 10/04/2020 07:28

I will find it very hard to go back to heavy traffic, pollution, road rage, and feeling overwhelmed a lot of the time. I prefer a quieter pace of life. I’m an introvert and birdsong, walks and pottering about suit me fine. I do really miss being able to drive to the countryside though. That’s the worst thing. I really really miss good coffee. At home coffee isn’t the same.
I’ve realised a lot of things I do aren’t things I really need or enjoy.

IWillWearTheGreenWillow · 10/04/2020 07:48

I'm ashamed to say my life hasn't really changed, except that all the DC are at home. I'm an introvert with sensory processing issues, and I've wfh (self-employed), as has DH, for about 15 years now. The bigger change for us when was DC#3 and #4 started being educated from home last September. I've not been alone unless I'm locked in the bathroom since then! Adding DC#1 and #2 has hardly made a difference, apart from noise levels, which I do find extremely challenging. However, I'm able to hide in the domestic side of things and potter about in the garden, with 2 concentrated hours a day shut in the front room (my "office") and it's been brilliant. I go out twice a week for essential shopping and do my dog walk in silence every other day and it's a lovely lifestyle. DC#4 is being a bit of a cuddly limpet, though, which is challenging.

LittleCandle · 10/04/2020 08:29

@eaglejulesk - I'm glad I was able to help. I've had people laugh at me when I've said this before, but its perfectly true. i'm perfectly happy at the moment sitting on my backside stitching away and not really seeing anyone. I'm sorry that I won't be able to see DD2 next week, as it is her birthday but that's the way the cookie crumbles. She's got part of her present, as I got it on amazon and she'll get the other part when we can see each other.

Reginabambina · 10/04/2020 08:31

I’m really struggling to get any alone time. The noise of my children in particular is unrelenting. I also miss having meet ups with my friends. I find myself having constant contact with my family yet very little quality socialising with my friends which I really miss. I’m very ready for this to be over.