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Original poster

Any introverts out there appreciate this time?

148 replies

slartibartfastsbeard · 08/04/2020 23:37

I'm just enjoying the chance to be at home and not feel exhausted all the time by social interaction. I'm reading but not responding to group chats about having a big get together once this is all over. I'm just relishing the fact that I can now, unashamedly, stay at home for days on end with a good book or box set and not have to deal with the draining effect of social interaction. That's not to say being at home 24/7 with DH and two teenage boys is a bed of roses, and DH being furloughed on basic wage plus a drop in income for me is extremely worrying, but I find I'm more able to deal with the important things now that I don't have to have other people filling my head.

Any other introverts out there feel similar?

OP posts:

TurtleBeach · 09/04/2020 09:15

I keep thinking I'm introverting wrong . I've read the Quiet book and agreed with every single word - made my boss read it too so she could understand me better - but I keep seeing social media posts about this lockdown being an introvert's paradise and I just can't relate.

I don't really crave interaction with people but I crave the outdoors. My perfect lifestyle involves me being out of the house for as long as possible - but alone with my own thoughts. I love to read but don't even like reading at home, I feel oppressed by the four walls and always take books out to parks and other beauty spots, or cosy cafes on rainy days. I love being around people but as an observer (and by people, I mean strangers). I love going to cafes or just busy city centre locations and people watching. I lived for a while in one of the most crowded and noisy cities on earth (abroad) and I loved it. I felt I could somehow distance myself and filter out the noise and just loved being anonymous in a crowd. I'm going crazy during this lockdown because these are the things that feed my soul and I can't do any of it.

Then, of course, there is the fact that I seem to be more connected than ever to people that I'd not normally see for months on end. My whole family want to have extended zoom sessions on saturdays - we do quizzes, play games, do Joe Wicks workouts together... it's exhausting (not just the workout). My mum and my sister call every night for a chat. There's nothing more to say! Normally I'd speak to my mum once a week and my sister every 6 weeks or so. My friends have instigated virtual drinks every friday night - I love my friends but I think the fact that we only normally get together over 4-6 months or so has a lot to do with that. It's not like I can get out of all of this, none of us can claim to be busy. I'm still working full-time from home and spend around 4 hours a day in video calls. As a manager, I have to instigate a social check in call with my team every singe day and likewise, I have to speak to my own manager every day. It's way more social interaction than we would normally have in the office and I'm completely drained. I cannot wait until this lockdown ends and I can go back to the normality of being able to ignore people and blow off social invitations with plausible excuses.

Poetryinaction · 09/04/2020 09:27

I didn't know I was an introvert until now. I feel so calm, and am dreading a return to normality. I knkw that sounds awful but life was so stressful before.

scattercushion17 · 09/04/2020 09:32

I'm an introvert and I'm enjoying it. I'm cracking on with a few jobs which need doing. I'm also using the time to self reflect and work on a few things about myself (that sounds that I'm very up myself, I hope that I am not). I'm also rewatching a couple of box sets. I get out for daily exercise although I find at times being stuck in a bit difficult but I know I am very lucky overall so I don't dwell on this. I intend to be a bit more sociable when this is over and make the most of free time.

I miss my folks and my DB and I worry a bit if I fall ill but I'm lucky that is the extent of concerns.

Total first world problem: I moved jobs just before this so I could explore a city I love. I'll just have to cram it in when this is done.

Appuskidu · 09/04/2020 09:37

My whole family want to have extended zoom sessions on saturdays - we do quizzes, play games, do Joe Wicks workouts together... it's exhausting (not just the workout). My mum and my sister call every night for a chat. There's nothing more to say! Normally I'd speak to my mum once a week and my sister every 6 weeks or so. My friends have instigated virtual drinks every friday night - I love my friends but I think the fact that we only normally get together over 4-6 months

I’d start saying no to a few of these things!

Doobigetta · 09/04/2020 09:50

Like some of the last few posters, I’m the wrong kind of introvert for this. Normally, I like to be out of the house, out and about as much as possible WITHOUT INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE. Being penned in at home fending off constant demands for video contact is driving me batshit. There are a couple of people and groups I’m verging on cutting off contact with altogether because they just won’t take no for an answer and it’s pissing me off.

BlueGheko · 09/04/2020 09:52

Yes I'm really enjoying the slower pace of life, no rushing to work, shops, football training etc. But mostly I'm enjoying the quiet, no cars coming and going early morning/late at night waking me up, no noisy gatherings at neighbours, it's bliss. I feel for my sociable DS not seeing his friends but am really enjoying having this time together which we otherwise would never have had as he's at the age where friends are more interesting than his mum! It's also highly unlikely I'll ever have this much time off work again until I retire, in fact I haven't had this much time off since DS was born 12 years ago so yes I'm definitely finding the positives and using this time wisely.

britnay · 09/04/2020 10:09

no, because my youngest child is an extroverted limpet :S

junipersjuice · 09/04/2020 10:14

I'm not finding it all that hard, the pressure to be out there having a good time has gone. The DD's and Ds are finding it hard though, they are missing their boy and girlfriends.

MotherForkinShirtBalls · 09/04/2020 10:30

My whole family want to have extended zoom sessions on saturdays - we do quizzes, play games, do Joe Wicks workouts together... it's exhausting

This with bells on. I was very happy interacting with my extended family every month or so, why do we need to do it weekly?? And yes too, to those who like being outside but on their own. This thread made me realise that's really hitting me now.

There are some people I've found(not on this thread) who mistake a quiet life for introversion. I am usually a reasonably sociable person but I absolutely need time alone to recharge. I have been fending off someone I do a hobby with who wants to do online catch ups for the group. She's got a hectic diary of video calls with all her "squads" and saying how much she loves this introvert life. She isn't an introvert, just likes being able to extrovert from home!

MushroomTree · 09/04/2020 10:31

Yes and no. Not having to be "on" and deal with people has been great. Although I'm back to work next Friday so that will change.

However, I'm in lockdown at my dad's house with my very extroverted toddler so it isn't easy.

Usually I get a day a week when she's at nursery and I'm not at home so I get a break. That not happening has been tough on my mental health.

TurtleBeach · 09/04/2020 10:51

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I've been feeling caught between lots of social media posts about how folk can't wait to see and hug their family and friends (meh, I'm seen more of them in this past fortnight than I would normally do in 6 months) and those who are loving being at home and are dreading being dragged back out into the light after this (I need to be outside).

@Appuskidu - I'd love to say no to those things but there are no valid excuses right now. I've spent 42 years with my massively extroverted family not understanding me (at best, I'm "over-sensitive" and at worst I'm "difficult and stand-offish") so they're not going to suddenly get my need for peace and quiet now. Last week I managed to get out of all the planned activities by claiming that the weather was so nice, I really wanted to take advantage and so a load of gardening before it inevitably turns again. This weekend is forecast wind and rain so I can't use that excuse again and there would be world war 3 if I suggested I'd rather sit alone and read a book than join in the enforced zoom fun. Unfortunately "no is a complete sentence" does not work with my family.

(I do love them dearly though.)

Pipandmum · 09/04/2020 10:57

Yep. But do virtual coffee morning three times a week as otherwise I wouldn't talk to another adult all week. But totally happy I don't have to go out or interact with anyone in real life. Other than my two teens of course! My son's an extreme extrovert and is really finding it tough but managing - thank goodness for online gaming!

thecatsthecats · 09/04/2020 11:11

Yup.

There's a lot of noise - correctly - that this will be negatively affecting some people's mental health.

However, dragging myself to my workplace for 37.5h a week plus the associated cramming in of my hobbies and exercising was affecting my mental health.

I've lost weight, seen my friends more (virtually), and done my hobbies more.

It's not all or nothing, and any changes afterwards should reflect that.

thecatsthecats · 09/04/2020 11:13

Ha, I did think this about my in laws! They like to chat for about an hour in the middle of the evening - which totally ruins the evening IMO, as there's not enough time to do anything before or after. Why, when we're all at home all day?!

I was a bit worn out by the web chats lined up last weekend.

VerbenaGirl · 09/04/2020 11:16

Interestingly, my very introverted teen is finding lockdown more difficult than my other very extrovert teen.

Notsogoodhousekeeping · 09/04/2020 11:17

If I were in my own home, I'd be absolutely loving it. But I'm a student lodger in someone else's [small] house and it's really getting me down. I'm not confined to my room and I can get out in the garden or out for a walk but when I'm in the house I can't escape the noise, whether it's music, radio or general chatter.

goldpartyhat · 09/04/2020 11:30

I am loving it, but next week after my 3 weeks, I'll be returning to the chaos that is family life for me.

Enko · 09/04/2020 11:30

DD3 (age 16) is loving it all. She did however, have a rather profound realisation that how she feels every day is how most others are feeling right now. I think it has helped her understand others better.

Notverybright · 09/04/2020 11:41

I'm kind of loving it.

I'm showing myself that I can look after my 2 kids without my mum's help. I had pnd and she was coming over every day. I'm realising we have a bad relationship dynamic where she feels the need to help to the degree that I feel like a helpless, bad mother who can't cope on her own. Though I had told her to come over less, she kept offering and I was too week to say no. This situation has forced me to deal with the issue. I'm coping fine and DS's behaviour has improved loads, as I'm afraid his grandma is very indulgent with him.

I wish I had some time to do things for myself like crafts or doing the house up, DP is a key worker so it's just me and 2 little kids in the day time and I don't get much time in the evening as 1 year old is teething and keeping me up in the night. But this was the same before lockdown so no real issue there.

I do feel very guilty about feeling happy in when people are getting so ill and dying though.

Notverybright · 09/04/2020 11:48

Oh yes and I keep having to mute the work WhatsApp. They are all hating it and missing nights out apparently. I'm just realising how many nights out they must have usually. I normally only do Christmas dos and maybe one in the summer to show willing.

Notverybright · 09/04/2020 11:53

Oh and I quite often ignore video chats and say I was busy changing nappies etc if questioned

ReiltinDubh · 09/04/2020 12:01

I love it. I don't know how I'm going to go back to normal when this is all over! I'm definitely going to be putting in a request to work the majority of the week from home.
My ds is so much happier that I'm around and have more time for him as I'm not so exhausted and trying to fit everything in to the couple of hours between getting home from work and doing bedtime.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 09/04/2020 12:04

I'm going to ask about some WFH days when I get back as well. I think it'll do my health some good!

Silvergreen · 09/04/2020 12:23

No, I absolutely hate it. My introversion is heavily tied to independence and freedom, not being a homebody. I feel trapped.

bloodysqueakyeggs · 09/04/2020 14:04

I'm finding it hard because my family is all here 24/7! Usually in the week I have DH at work, eldest at school and youngest naps 2 hours a day so I have two hours blissful silent alone time. Not anymore!

Plus everyone keeps video calling me now, I find it so intrusive! Our parents and siblings not so much, they are desperate to keep in touch with the children and that's fine I don't mind that but everyone else? And all this group video calling? Noooooo!

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