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Original poster

How is everyone's relationships/marriages fairing under the current 'stay at home' guidance?

70 replies

VladmirsPoutine · 05/04/2020 13:31

How's things at home?

Is it too early for Wine?

We're getting under each other's feet a bit but we don't have any DC so it's not as pressured as it otherwise might have been... We also take our allocated daily walk/run separately but otherwise can't complain.

OP posts:
BillyAndTheSillies · 05/04/2020 13:41

DH and I were saying yesterday that we are managing better than we thought we would.

We've got a four year old and a six month old and it's been pretty full on but we spend time with each of the kids separately a lot of the time so we aren't permanently under each other's feet.

We were self isolating the week before the official lockdown began as we think I had the virus. Now that the 14 day period is over and we can go out for a walk to break up the day it's a lot better.

Neither of us are used to being home with both children 24 hours a day, DH works long hours but in construction and his sites are closed, DS1 usually goes to nursery three days a week and the other days with his grandparents and I'm usually at home just with the baby,

We really cherish from 7:30pm onwards when both kids are in bed. The house is a shit tip but neither of us have expectations of having a tidy house at the moment. We've had zero arguments since lockdown, I suppose we are really pulling together as a team for the first time in ages.

LittleMissEngineer · 05/04/2020 13:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
VladmirsPoutine · 05/04/2020 13:56

I'm thinking that rather than this being a prelude to a mass divorce when things return to relative normality I think a lot of couples are seeing their relationship in a much stronger light / pulling together.

That said, for those in fractious and abuse relationships it must like walking on a tight rope. I'm hoping the gov act on domestic abuse in much the same manner they are finding the political will to support various groups which were till now overlooked.

OP posts:
corythatwas · 05/04/2020 13:57

4 of us here: myself, dh and 2 adult children. Fine so far. Tbh wasn't expecting it to be too hard: we've been through some pretty rough times in the past so we know pretty well how the others tick. Also we are fortunate enough to have a house that is large enough for everybody to get some space and a small garden to sit in. The only thing that's going to be tricky is for dd to do her drama work at home, particularly as dh and I both have to work from home. Her school are going online and they do seem to think everybody lives in a mansion. Ds keeps himself to himself but comes downstairs in the evenings.

tigerwhocametoT · 05/04/2020 13:59

Me in few more days

How is everyone's relationships/marriages fairing under the current 'stay at home' guidance?
ThisMustBeMyDream · 05/04/2020 13:59

I've been with my DP for just under 3 years. He spends lots of time here, and I have 3 children. We decided he would stay for the lockdown period, both because we wanted to be together, but as support for me as a key worker so the kids wouldn't need to go in school so much (he is a teacher so has to go in every 4 weeks on a rota).

We never argued before. We still aren't arguing now. I couldn't imagine a better person to spend lockdown with. He's a wonderful person. I feel lucky to have him in our lives.

It makes me so sad that other people are in difficult situations right now.

Seventyone72seventy3 · 05/04/2020 14:01

A bit strained here. I have ended up doing 90% of the cleaning/cooking and it is thoroughly pissing me off. Things only get done by others if I assign tasks and then check up on them - but of course that is a whole other job in its own right.

HeffalumpsCantDance · 05/04/2020 14:03

We’re fine, but we’ve shared a home for 37 years, so I’d be surprised if we weren’t. We still like each other.

ParkheadParadise · 05/04/2020 14:04

We are doing ok.
DH works long hours so its strange him being her 24/7.
We are lucky we have a large garden and have room to spread out in the house if we want to.
But DH has now found the sweetie cupboard and everytime I look at him he's eating my sweetie stash.

missyB1 · 05/04/2020 14:10

I think we’re doing well under the circumstances. Dh is a hospital Dr and is working 8 - 8 most days. He’s tired and bit grumpy but that’s understandable. My 25 year old is home from Uni but working at a supermarket most days. So I’m home with our 11 year old and the dog.
It’s the 25 year old that’s the most difficult!

ohtheholidays · 05/04/2020 14:24

Were doing well so far.

We don't usually argue alot to be honest anyways,both grew up in shouty household's so not something we wanted to repeat in our own.

The hardest bit has been dealing with DD12 she is autistic and she's finding all of the changes very hard and she is missing her friends terribly,she attends a mainstream school so were still having quite alot of work being set for her to do at home which goes better some days than other.

The hardest bit is were all missing our 3 other DC and our Grandson,we have 5DC but only 2 still live at home and our DD12 is really missing her 2 oldest brothers and has cried a few times bless her for her only sister and her nephew.

ArriettyJones · 05/04/2020 14:28

I wouldn’t like to live under each other’s feet permanently, let’s put it that way 😬

I can well see why newly retired couples often go through a tetchy phase.

MulticolourMophead · 05/04/2020 14:34

I'm so, so glad I left the abusive ex 3 years ago, it's just me and the teens.

Knowing what he's like, plus I now know he's likely on furlough or even made redundant, the atmosphere would have been hell.

I'm wfh, but I know that if we were with him, he'd be dictating the housework to us all and sitting on his arse. I'd struggle to work, whereas at the moment, I'm working okay.

SpaceCadet4000 · 05/04/2020 14:43

Week 1 we were sniping at each other quite a bit and DH was pretty grumpy. I was worried that, if the lockdown continued that way, it would leave our relationship in tatters.

Looking back we were both just stressed and uncertain, especially DH whose work hadn't yet confirmed who would still be working and who would be put on furlough. Since that was confirmed things have been good, probably helped by the fact that DH is still working!

BadlyAgedMemes · 05/04/2020 14:52

We're okay so far.

Lucky enough that we're quite used to working from home, and are both introverted homebodies with quiet hobbies, and have the luxury of a spare room or a garden to escape into, if everything else fails.

Having said that... I'm definitely having to have a quiet talk with myself several times a day about not sweating the small stuff, and about keeping things in perspective, and about not being an arsehole. I currently have an urge to yell at him for having yet another shit, when I have just finished washing the loo. I also feel twitchy that he's embracing this home hobo style quite so whole-heartedly. I might hide his dressing gown into the laundry overnight, so he'll have to wear actual clothes tomorrow...

But generally we're rubbing along nicely enough. Trying to give each other space when we need it, and managing to talk openly enough about when we need space. We're sharing a lot of memes together, it seems. We've had the odd night of getting quite drunk and merry together, and have been having more sex than for a long while.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 05/04/2020 15:05

We’re okay, but I am conscious that I have had a good routine (teaching) which has been helping, and that will be out of the window for the next fortnight. DP is a very calm person, while I get really anxious, so he is good at calming me down. We are lucky to have a spare room - which DP has always used as a bit of a man-cave - and also a decent sized garden.

hannabarbera · 05/04/2020 15:20

Absolutely fine. I still work 8-5 so he is home with the kids but my youngest is 12 so no real looking after

iklboo · 05/04/2020 15:27

I think because we were good mates for a few years before we got together we're doing ok for now. We have similar tastes in music & stuff, plus we can go into separate rooms if we want to do something else. DH is a pretty chilled bloke and I've learned over the last year to be more relaxed about stuff.

DS takes after his dad and is very level headed. Doing the right mix of school work, hobbies and eating all the snacks gaming. We spend a couple of hours each evening playing games or watching TV shows, films etc we all like.

We're treating it like we're on a camping site holiday where the weather is so bad we can't go out much.

homemadecommunistrussia · 05/04/2020 15:31

We are fine, giving each other time apart. It's tough to think of all the people dying, that's what's hard.
That sounds sanctimonious I suppose and i don't mean to be, but that's what I am struggling with.

MistyIsland · 05/04/2020 15:39

Ok here.

Now we have a better routine with the kids we are doing a lot better, and not as snippy with each other.

No real fights unless you count the how long have we been married and lived together a few other heated debates on what to cook for tea. Now solved with a meal plan.

Our house has never been so clean/tidy I have no washing in the washing baskets. Garden is starting to look really good.

Considering what I thought it would be like it’s been a million times better.

user1493413286 · 05/04/2020 15:41

We’re making sure we give each other some space; the kitchen seems to be his area and the lounge is mine. I’m also taking a deep breath when I want to complain about mess.

SuperMeerkat · 05/04/2020 15:42

All’s fine here actually. We’ve been doing loads of DIY and today we’re insulating our new log cabin, exciting! Somewhere to do yoga in.

MuseumOfYou · 05/04/2020 15:42

Not too bad, DH is a hospital manager so pretty busy. DS is still at uni accommodation, DD is 12 and quite a self starter. I am furloughed so have more time to do domestic stuff which diffuses pressure. Enough room at home to spread out. Actually, am enjoying spending more time together.

Zenithbear · 05/04/2020 15:44

It's just me and dp. We only work part-time anyway so are used to each others company. We very rarely fall out. We're getting on very well so far. Both finding things to keep us busy, sometimes together, sometimes apart and walking the dogs together every day. We are missing our DC and friends though. We were also going on holiday at the end of April which we've had to cancel so rebooking that will be first on our list.

tigerbear · 05/04/2020 15:49

It’s great, tbh.
The first week was a bit fraught, as we tried to find a routine to balance each of us doing work as well as manage DD with her school work, but we’re all actually having a lovely time now.

DP is very easy to live with though. All cleaning type chores are shared, he does more cooking than I do, and he’s great at keeping DD entertained when I need to work.
If I’d been on lockdown with my ex husband, it would have been a totally different experience!