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When one friend in a group dislikes you

77 replies

Tinyteddy · 04/04/2020 09:43

I'm part of a group of 5 friends, all of whom have known each other for 10+ years from our university days. I consider the other 4 to be of my closest friends and we have strong one-on-one friendships, however there is one person in the group who I'm fairly sure dislikes me. I'm not overly fond of her either but I do my best not to show it and try to be as supportive and friendly as I can be in group settings.

Because we live some distance apart a lot of our communication is through a WhatsApp group and I've noticed whenever I say anything this person ignores me or pretends I haven't said anything. It's similar when we get together in person, I feel she (whether consciously or unconsciously) leaves me out of conversations, interrupts me when I speak or just doesn't listen and makes it quite obvious she's not interested in what I have to say by checking her phone. She has quite a loud, forceful personality whereas I'm more quiet and reserved and I've often felt intimidated in her presence.

The upshot of this is that despite the fact that I get on really well with the other people in the group, I often leave get-togethers feeling quite deflated and I rarely say anything in the WhatsApp group now. I'm sure the others have noticed the dynamic between us but no one's ever said anything. I get the sense that others in the group also have found her a bit difficult at times but for a group of supposed best friends this dynamic makes me feel really uncomfortable.

Has anyone ever experienced this? Part of me thinks I should opt out of the group stuff but I also feel a bit sad that I'm allowing this one person to make me feel this way when I get on so well with the others.

OP posts:
Oblomov20 · 11/04/2020 09:23

You've asked the others about it and they don't think it's a big deal:think it's just the way she is/ they are actually dismissive of how you feel. This means they aren't as good a friend as you think, I'm afraid.

HannaYeah · 11/04/2020 09:49

You are definitely not imaging this.

On the group chat, when she ignores you I would try responding with “Are my messages not going through?”

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