Oh OP, sounds like you are being very hard on yourself.
I'm waking early some mornings too, this morning at 4.3am.
This is a very challenging time for people.
I had shifted some extra pounds and i know they will come back as i am normally very sporty and active.
Lots of us are having extra drinks.
Beating yourself up has never helped me as it only encourages me to reward myself via food etc.
Sometimes writing down all the good positive things in your life can help.
Write a list of the things that are dragging you down.
Another list of what you can do to change this dynamic.
The thing is with something like weight, you can spend a lot of time thinking about it and it controlling your head.
Making a plan, even a small one might help you feel more in control.
Regarding the PTSD, i hope you are seeking help and support for this.
Wishing you well.👍