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Original poster

Couples who have a fairly big difference in earnings - how do you split the bills, mortgage, etc?

140 replies

QuakingQuiche · 30/03/2020 17:07

Couples who have a fairly big difference in earnings - how do you split the bills, mortgage, % of house share you own, meals out, holiday etc.?

One person pays? Both do 50:50? You adjust by % of household income each person contributes? Is it different for different types of spending?

Please state if married or not, cohabiting or not, if you’ve got children or not, how long you’ve been together and if the contributions from each person has changed over time?

Fairly taboo topic but interested in how others do it.

OP posts:

Neednewwellies · 30/03/2020 17:58

Sorry, 3 kids and been together 20yrs. It has been the same arrangement since we first moved in together.

meemaw12 · 30/03/2020 17:59

I earn 26k part time he earns 80k. We're married 2 kids. I put in £500 per month into the joint account which pays for food. He puts £2100 per month into the joint account to cover mortgage and all other Bill's. O pay for my own mobile phone, petrol, car tax etc. We both have roughly the same left over each month. Actually I think he probably has about £200 more bit I'm not bothered because he pays for all holidays too. We have our own accounts because if I want to buy something expensive (recently bought a Dyson hair dryer for £400) I don't want to have to run it past my husband.

I think a lot of people who only have a joint account would feel the need to discuss an expensive purchase especially sahps who aren't contributing financially. My money my business.

FallonSwift · 30/03/2020 18:02

DH earned double my wage when we first got together. I'm now the main earner by a reasonable, but not massive, margin.

Everything has always gone into our joint account and comes out of there, including personal spending. It works for us as we have very similar attitudes towards money.

oldbeforem · 30/03/2020 18:04

He earns 150k and I earn 45k so a big difference.

Not married but engaged. We split the mortgage and he pays all of the bills and will generally pay for more things, like if we go out for dinner etc. Leaving me to have more free money to save etc.

If we go on holiday then we pay 50:50 but we go places that suit my budget.

zeddybrek · 30/03/2020 18:12

Married 2 DC. Big difference in earnings between us. We each keep £500 for personal stuff and rest goes into joint account for all bills, savings and general spending on family and entertainment etc. Bigger spends we consult each other. Works for us.

juneybean · 30/03/2020 18:15

Married and joint account, no kids, we just buy what we want and every thing comes out of main account.

moochppocj · 30/03/2020 18:18

He earns between 80-90k, I now earn 30k p/t but used to earn 60k. Married, 2 dcs, been together since uni & now in our 30s. We only recently opened a joint account which I know is weird for MNs, just never got around to it. How it worked before that is he would pay all bills & I payed for food, days out, kids stuff, both put whatever is left over into savings account. Now we both just add money into the joint account & keep some back for personal spends.

moochppocj · 30/03/2020 18:19

We both had very similar amounts deposit for our first home

maybemu · 30/03/2020 18:20

Married with baby on the way so it will all change soon when I'm not earning the same but when we lived together and both worked full time he earned more and we used to pay a % in line with what we earn. Now it's changing we're just going to put all money in the joint account and go from there

ShyTown · 30/03/2020 18:21

Married, 1 child. Everything goes in and out of the joint account, we buy what we want but discuss large purchases. We’ve pooled everything since we were engaged and earned roughly the same but DH now earns easily three times as much as me.

Pentium85 · 30/03/2020 18:21

Not married but have baby had mortgage.

He pays for everything bills/holidays etc

We split food 50/50

And I buy everything baby related.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 30/03/2020 18:22

Pre-marriage we paid proportion of earnings into pot. So he paid 2/3's and I paid 1/3rd as he earned double what I earned. After we got married everything into the pot for bills, savings etc. and we both retained an equal amount of disposable income in our own accounts. Has worked well for us, incomes have gone up and down over the years (I earn more than him now) so it's never caused any resentment. We have DC.

burntpinky · 30/03/2020 18:24

DH earns £2350 a year more than me and usually another £2k more on top of that as his bonuses tend to be bigger than mine. But I only work 4 days a week and he works 5 so if I went back full time I’d out earn him quite significantly. If I went back to doing what I did before we had kids I’d earn double what I do now and so almost double what he earns.

I get a higher contribution to my pension from my job than he does so we are quite evenly balanced. However I also have a rental property which brings in another 15k a year. He sold his rental property last year and invested some of proceeds.

At present we split everything 50/50 but I guess that may change. It’s just always worked for us. Although I have the income from rental property I also pay all the mortgage and expenses by myself so hence why I don’t contribute more even though “on paper” I have more. When I sell that property it will either be invested for our future or used to buy a new property in joint names. He’s the same with “his” money - even though he spends/invests as sees fit, it’s all for joint purposes and he doesn’t tend to make extravagant purchases and neither do I, but if he wants something he can get it as can I without consulting one another (I mean if he was spending 5k he would consult but if he wanted new clothes/phone/whatever then no)

OhioOhioOhio · 30/03/2020 18:24

I had 100 per cent of the marital assets. He slowly converted them into a currency that he was solely in charge of. Then he kept me short and treated me like shit. Actually worse than shit. Then I divorced the bastard.
Watch what you are doing op.

moochppocj · 30/03/2020 18:25

When people say they discuss big purchases what do they class as big? We discuss holidays obviously but I can't think of anything I've bought or he has for that matter that we have checked with each other first as opposed to buying & then telling the person after.

Iseethesilverlining · 30/03/2020 18:26

Always had salaries paid into one joint account since we married and started work at 21. Everything is joint - bills etc come out, we have a joint budget for household spending. Left over goes to savings or on teenagers! He now earns quite a lot more than me but it has varied over the years. I manage it all and know what is where and how much is coming in / going out, as it works better like that.

whiteroseredrose · 30/03/2020 18:29

Everything into a joint account. Bills and all purchases come out of that. If there is much money left every 3 months or so it is split between us into our own accounts.

Our salaries have changed over the years. I used to be the main breadwinner while DH was a student, then I was a SAHM; now DH earns over 4 x what I do.

burntpinky · 30/03/2020 18:31

@moochppocj my DH wanted to do his private pilots licence which was over 10K so we discussed that and I actively encouraged him to go for it as he has always been plane mad and I knew it would make him happy (plus we had just lost a baby and he needed cheering up). He managed to pay for that through trading shares however.

Amrythings · 30/03/2020 18:32

Married, used to earn the same, he now earns much more than me. I paid the house deposit, so for the next while he pays the mortgage solo, plus car and electric and any bigger one off purchases (the slow slow process of doing up the house), I pay nursery, rates, oil and groceries. Separate saving accounts, but we know exactly how much each other earns, has saved and roughly spends. Anything big is discussed. Often anything small too. God love the poor neighbour who got roped into an in depth dissection of which potato peeler to buy when she just wanted to give us a parcel.

Oakmaiden · 30/03/2020 18:33

We don't. Everything goes into one pot and then comes out of the pot.

There isn't a "yours and mine" about money in our house.

TSSDNCOP · 30/03/2020 18:35

DH earns 10x my salary.

All our money is paid into and out of our joint account.

He spends a LOT less than me

Soontobe60 · 30/03/2020 18:36

We opened a joint account when we started living together 30 years ago and both salaries go into it. I have, over the years, always earned double what my DH earns, but now I'm retired we earn very similar (mine is pension). When I get my state pension in a few years I will be on double his again.
DH has an expensive hobby. We transfer an equal amount of personal spends into our own savings accounts monthly. The remaining savings are in joint accounts, ISAs in our own names but equal amounts.

JonHammIsMyJamm · 30/03/2020 18:36

Married for a long time. Joint account. All money goes into it with monthly DD to bills account for (unsurprisingly) bills. I don’t work at the moment but it was the same when there were two salaries going in. It works for us.

JulesM73 · 30/03/2020 18:37

I earn double what my DH earns. We have always just paid all our salary into the joint account. All the bills get paid from this including joint credit card. What’s mine is his and vice versa. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

JonHammIsMyJamm · 30/03/2020 18:38

We discuss big purchases, anything over a few hundred quid.

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