Couples who have a fairly big difference in earnings - how do you split the bills, mortgage, etc?

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Couples who have a fairly big difference in earnings - how do you split the bills, mortgage, % of house share you own, meals out, holiday etc.?

One person pays? Both do 50:50? You adjust by % of household income each person contributes? Is it different for different types of spending?

Please state if married or not, cohabiting or not, if you’ve got children or not, how long you’ve been together and if the contributions from each person has changed over time?

Fairly taboo topic but interested in how others do it.

Our earnings have changed over the years from me being main earner to now him being main earner

We have always done the same - a percentage of our earnings into one pot to cover bills and expenses

That’s been the case since we lived together and is now the case we are married with children

Every few months when earnings change I will update a budget spreadsheet to work out what’s fair and make sure that each of us has similar amounts left over or our own spending

Forgot to say, married over 20 years. Dp has always been the bigger earner. I was a sahm when kids were small.

We have a joint bank account where all the bills are paid out off, we both pay in. I keep more in my personal account then my husband as I tend to do more household spending.

It is joint money.

When I was earning less or nothing the set up was the same but husband paid into my account to cover the month.

We’ve been together for 11 years, married for almost 4, have a toddler. I earn 3 times what he does. We each pay the same proportion of our earnings into our joint account (so I put a lot more in). He contributes more in other ways - has more flexible hours so does more childcare and housework. Works for us.

Married. All accounts inc savings joint.

Married 30 years. He earns three times what I do. All money has always been shared equally, we think of it as family money. We allow ourselves the same amount of spending money each month. This arrangement has applied whether I've been on maternity leave, a SAHM, working part time or working full time, and it works really well. We are an equal partnership.

All in one big pile. Married with two children. Right now we earn about the same, but we already did this when I was still a student and he was working, and we will still do this next year, when we move for my job and he will (probably) be unemployed.

We sort of make the decisions together, or rather: I make the big decisions (investments, remortgaging, life insurance) and run them past him, and he does most of the daily spending (shopping, booking holidays, buying clothes for the children).

He pays 80% into the joint. I pay 20%

Together 12 years. 2 kids together.

He also has at least what his 80% contribution to the joint account left in his own account after.

Married, joint account, everything comes out of that. Both have a similar attitude to spending and saving, which helps. We have a separate account each for personal money to fritter on whatever and get £50 each per month for that.

We're married. Both been the breadwinner at different points in our marriage - I supported DH through university, now DH earns a high wage and I work in a low earning, part time role that fits around the children.

Our set up is equal "spends" for both. Essentially we pay everything into a joint account and then take an equal allowance for our own use (books, takeaway coffees, anything just for ourselves that's non essential). The rest of our money is pooled for joint expenses - bills, food, days out, stuff for DCs. Any money in our joint account left over each month is put into joint savings. Any allowance left over into our own personal savings account that can be used to supplement our allowance if we want something expensive.

It means we both get equal "me money" as we are a family and both contribute to our household in different but valid ways so neither of us should have to go without while the other has lots.

OH earns a lot more than me. He basically pays all bills. I pay for grocery shopping, new clothes for the kids, and treats like cinema trips or takeaways. If something big comes up we work out which of us is in a position to pay for it. It just works.

Married 3 years, together 10. He earns double me.
50:50 on mortgage to ensure we have equal rights on property.
All other bills 60:40, as he earns more

What’s left in our own account is ‘ours’

I’m left with approx £450 to play with each month. He’s left with more, I don’t overly care as he pays for stuff as and when I say ‘i want, we want, I need, we need’

Pre marriage, 50/50 regardless of who earned what. Once married with joint mortgage it just seems easier to have one account.

I’d advise my children to do the same, to pay they own way and be able to self support should life go wrong.

Married. I earn nothing, but currently applying for jobs that pay about 10% of what he earns But ever since we first moved in together (shortly after which I was pregnant) we have had one joint account everything goes in.

We're married, together 15 years - I earn around £85k to his £33k-ish
Prior to kids we had a joint account for all standing order / direct debits to cover bills / savings etc. and paid into it proportionally (so roughly 1/3 from him 2/3 me) with the remainder kept to do what we wanted with.

Once we had kids it all went into one pot - 3 joint accounts so can separate bills from spending money & savings.

We both have a token savings account each to cover gifts for each other so the other can't see what's being bought but other than that we have complete transparency.

Before kids and married after I sold my flat we both had the same pocket money but DP paid his wages minus pocket money into joint account for household bills and input my wages minus pocket money into joint saving account for wedding house.

Now am a sham DH keeps back £200 for his pocket money, puts £200 into my account for pocket money and the rest into the joint account for family spending.

Been married more than 25 years. 3 children. We've had everything from me earning more, both earning the same, him earning more. He now earns significantly more and has for quite a while. Our setup has always been the same since we married. Everything is considered ours and everything is held jointly. We don't worry about equal spends but generally live the same lifestyle and always have - so we don't have a situation where one couldn't afford to go for lunch and the other could or one can have an expensive hobby and the other scrambles for a haircut. No problem if one spends more money than the other at times. When I read of situations like that on MN, I am baffled. When we married, we became one household in our minds. My parents were the same

Together 4 1/2 years married 1 1/2 years one child.

He earns about twice what I do. Salary goes into our individual accounts, we keep the same amount of spending money and the rest goes into the joint account which pays for mortgage household bills, nursery etc.

E.g. I earn £1k and he earns £2k. I put in £500 and he puts in £1,500 into joint account so we each have £500 spending money to pay for personal expenses.

Before we were married we lived in his house, I Paid for weekly shop and cleaner and bought furniture for house.

DH is on £75k and I'm working part time at about £20k. He pays for most things (except the classes I go to, my gym membership, my professional memberships, my phone, DS toddler classes and the cleaner) and most of my salary goes directly into our savings for a house deposit. If he needs a bit extra I give it to him.

Before I got pregnant and we got married I was earning about £52k so we split everything 50/50. The car was mine so I paid for everything to do with that. When I got pregnant, I sold the car and put the money towards a larger car and he paid the rest and now all the costs involved.

Married. All in one pot. Three kids. She earns far more than me. I stayed at home and looked after the kids.

All in one big pile and we don’t think about who earns what. I earn around 4x what my husband does (married 5 years together 16). premarriage it was the same, joint account that everything goes into, separate personal accounts that get the same money transferred each month as “spends”. This is for leisure use only really such as lunches, cinema, clothes we want to buy etc. This was easier as in a saver and him a spender so he suggested it so I would actually spend more money. Everything left in the joint at the end of the month is transferred into savings.
Everything house related or joint otherwise comes from the joint account including petrol, holidays etc.

I've been thinking about this recently because we've recently gotten engaged and have a baby on the way. Plan was to marry this summer but on hold for obvious reasons.

I own two flats, one of which we live in, in London and I earn just over £60k to his £40k He has about £30k in savings and is from the north, where we would've put this into a flat if he hadn't moved down here. He currently pays me the market rate I charged my old lodger while I get my finances sorted (credit card/tax bill paid off) over the next two months then we will reassess and pay half each.

One pot, everything goes in.
I earn 38k, DH earns 180k
Discuss any purchase over about £150/£200
Married

Me and my DHs wages go into one account which then distributes the money in to a food account, a savings account, our personal account & a spending account, an xmas savings account & our DSs account. (It keeps enough bill money in it before distributing what's left) and it just runs like that each month and the only bank cards we each have is the spends and our personal account