I can’t be ‘fun mum’ every single bloody day!!

[Knobblybobbly]

After a week at home, being as enthusiastic and ‘fun’ as I can be with my only child (5) today I just want to be an adult.

My DH is doing yet another shift on the ‘frontline’.

I know this is shit for everyone, and I’ve got it easy, but how are you all staying positive and ‘happy’ for the kids.

Christ I wish we had another child, or a dog, or that my kids actually liked watching TV!!!

*kid

Having a routine has helped us, as well as FaceTiming family, although we have relaxed it today so far and are all still in pjs. My partner is also a essential worker but he tries and does something with our two when he is home. I also have quiet time every afternoon from 1-3. This is when my 2 year old naps and when my 6 year old has to entertain himself. I also try and clean up/tidy up as I go along so that when they go to bed at 7, I don’t have much to do and that is my time to relax before the next day.

I’ve been really snappy with DD. It’s my birthday and I’m struggling with not seeing my twin sister.
DD is usually the most social busiest little girl in the world who adores her swimming and dance lessons and she hates being at home or in the garden. She’s been a pain in the bum this week. And it was all too much today. Feel awful now though!

I hear you! Two boys of 4 and 5. Trust me, having two of them doesn't stop the CONSTANT demands for attention!! In fact it doubles it

Same here, I've done so much playing this week and feel bad every time I'm on my phone which is a lot

Ok so maybe another child isn’t a good idea.

My daughter hasn’t ever really learned to play alone!!! How do I teach her that? Got at least 3 weeks to implement something I guess.....

We’ve just played Sylvanian families for 30 mins.... god help me

My 4 year old won't play on her own either, l am saving the TV for 3pm onwards most days as my energy seems to go from that point!

I was an only child , I can't remember ( apart from board games ) when my parents "played " stuff with me , I can remember being encouraged to read or make up a story with my play things and being perfectly happy , perhaps you can get her to look at her books more and play on her own , try to get her to have a bit more independence?

Agreed! My son is almost 2 and a bundle of energy. I’m a single parent and although I’m planning things and doing my best, today I know will be a struggle! He was up early today so we’ve already done colouring, nursery rhymes, farm animals and what sound them make and been for a walk around the block. I’m shattered already.
The afternoons seem to really dragged don’t they?
He’s gone up for a nap now whilst I tidy up and prepare for round two.

Keep up the excellent work everybody!

Get her to choose between two activities that she can reasonably do on her own for a short time and help her to set it up, model how she could use it. This could be a play activity or a job she enjoys.

Set a count-down timer (use your phone or the cooker clock) that she can see, during which time she is to play or do the task on her own. Start with a minute if you have to.

Once the time has gone, check on her, be interested in what she has done, thank her for playing independently/ doing x,y,z task nicely. If she's losing interest, move the task or play on. Rinse and repeat, building up the time she can manage.

Also,
Don't put all her toys out at once. Have 3 boxes and rotate them day by day, less is more and novelty is more interesting.

Trust me having a sibling does not make it any easier. The playing nicely together is hugely outweighed by arguing and squabbling over toys.
It's really tough, I started the week full of enthusiasm and ideas but that petered out by midweek.
We've drawn, crafted, baked, planted seeds, done school work, diaries, work sheets, YouTube tutorials, P.E lessons, played outside lots.... I'm running low on resources already and I can't see how we can keep this up for weeks on end.

Don't beat yourself up .You have not got it easy if your DH is on the frontline.
I don't think 5 is too young to tell that you both need a quieter time. They are used to it at school.

You don’t need to be ‘fun mum’ all day. You won’t keep it up. She needs to learn that you are important too and have your own needs. Try not to feel guilty for setting her some time alone - TV, screen, whatever, while you do your own thing.

My daughter hasn’t ever really learned to play alone!!! How do I teach her that

By letting her feel boredom. It doesn't do them any good to have back to back activities.

I’m also struggling with this- I work full time so the kids (understandably!) are behaving like it’s a holiday as the only time we normally spend this much time together is during holidays and have been much clingier than usual. It’s been a very difficult week but I’m hoping as this all starts to feel more normal things will settle down. I came up with a timetable on Wednesday and the few days we’ve followed that definitely helped a little bit.

@BasilDiffuser happy birthday, I’m sorry this one is so difficult for you I can imagine how hard it is not being able to spend it with your twin.

I’ve just properly shouted at my 8 year old because he moaned that he “had to do all the jobs”. Am crap mum today

I was an only child and I was able to entertain myself for ages. I loved playing in my room for hours with barbies or my dollshouse, out in the garden making up games. My parents weren't really the type to sit and play with me a lot.
I have 3 kids and you'd have thought they would be entertaining each other but they are utterly useless! I play with them or do an activity and when it's done ask them to go and do something in their rooms or play with their toys... they look at me like I've got 3 heads. They follow me around the house everywhere, everything is "muuuuum". This lockdown has shown me that we really need to work on their independent play skills!

one my mum did when she was trying to entertain me was ask me (just me) to make a card/draw a picture to send to a relative. She said Aunt X would love it if it was just me, no ideas/help from her. “What should I ?” Was met with Aunt X wants something from you.

Now you could presumably scan or photo it (prime the aunt/friend/neighbour to praise all her work) Repeat for everyone in the neighbourhood.

I am struggling too but my DH rather than being on the front line just isn't very good at entertaining the kids. He just leaves it up to me which is bloody hard work. He will realise this next week as I will still be working from home and he will be Furloughed and looking after them!

Honestly you have to send them off to play and wait it out. When they get really bored they’ll stop badgering you and find something to do. You have to grit your teeth through the whining and nagging but then you’ll realise it’s been quiet for ten minutes and they’re contentedly building with Lego or playing with Barbies. 5 is perfectly old enough to start doing that and - bonus - teaching them to deal with boredom is an AMAZING life skill too.

Time to teach them boredom.It takes a while but well worth it.
When they're about 10 have a list of chores to be done if they get bored,give it to them.Sfter the first few I'm boreds they catch on.
Play card games terms n the evening together.That leaves TV to be watched in the day.
For small children a sink full of warm very bubbly water with some jugs,funnels and Tupperware a will buy you time with no interaction needed.
It's hard because they reflect back your mood a lot of the time so you get into a spiral.

I have an only child. At about 5 I introduced a new habit to tackle your current problem. We alternated between playing and chores. So I'd spend 30 mins playing and 30 mins doing chores. In the time I was doing chores DS had to entertain himself. Gets your chores done but also gives you a bit of downtime. Playing on your phone counts as a chore . The other strategy is to get your DD involved in stuff you like doing. If you like books read more, if you like drawing do that. It doesn't have to be endless playing with toys.

“Boredom” stimulates imaginative play. We played going on holiday with boxes for aircraft seats. We dressed our dolls for the journey. We worked out where we wanted to go. Other indoor play was activities like Spirograph, colouring, card games (need more than one for that) and easy games like snakes and ladders and ludo. It’s not wall to wall fun but try and get their imaginations flying. Dressing up was always good. Pretending to be a shop keeper and pretending to cook.

Stop entertaining her. She'll roll about on the floor and whine, then reaise you aren't going to play as you have other things to do and go off and entertain herself.
Don't allow her to hang on you to whine, thats a time out offense when mine were little.
Give her notice, Mummy has work to do, you need to go and find your own toys to play with. Keep popping your head in to make sure she's OK. Check if it goes too quiet, thats usually trouble.

Agree with all the pp.

You just have to say 'No, I'm doing this now....you need to play by yourself'.

She'll struggle at first, but she'll work it out. If she knows how to play with someone it's not a huge leap to play by yourself. Start with short periods and extend. Always come back before too long and praise how well she's playing.

Mix up the activities that you do together to avoid boredom/conserve energy. So put reading and craft in between chasing round that garden and playing Sylvanian families.

Set her up with activities that you can supervise/interact with from a distance. I find stickers and playdoh both good. You just need to go 'oh wonderful' every few minutes, but can also mumsnet and have a cup of tea!