I can’t be ‘fun mum’ every single bloody day!!

[Knobblybobbly]

After a week at home, being as enthusiastic and ‘fun’ as I can be with my only child (5) today I just want to be an adult.

My DH is doing yet another shift on the ‘frontline’.

I know this is shit for everyone, and I’ve got it easy, but how are you all staying positive and ‘happy’ for the kids.

Christ I wish we had another child, or a dog, or that my kids actually liked watching TV!!!

My 9 year old only child still sucks at independent play. We've enforced a rule where he can't interrupt me if I'm on my work laptop! Which may be when I spend time on MN...

Mine is four (we also have a ten week old) and normally plays really well by himself but has regressed in the last week or so and just wants me to play with him at all times. Playing board/card games, drawing, painting - anything that requires more than one person or my undivided attention. As well as wanting to play Hungry Hippos when the baby is asleep....

I think it’s anxiety/being unsettled by lockdown but boy, is it wearing. We have agreed times for games but he won’t respect them and the pestering is getting on our nerves.

If you find the answer, let me know!

You have had excellent advice on here.

Yes. Let her get on with being bored.

So you have a shed or something to keep most of her toys in? Then only take out one bag or box at a time.

Tell her. Actually explain to your child. 'I am an adult. I have adult responsibilities. I am going to get them done.'

Seriously let her get on with being bored. But start off small.

Also. I have never tried to be fun mum.

Do you think adults just didn't PLAY in the 80s (and maybe 90s, but I was a young child in the 80s)? I find it reassuring to hear so many of you say that you were left to your own devices. I am NOT a very fun mum at the moment, if ever, but keep having the weird feeling I know how to play the child's role in the game, but not what the adult's meant to be doing!

Now I think back to my own childhood, I wonder if adults just didn't do playing then. I remember board and card games, but it was all quite structured. A nice Sunday afternoon in spring was more often me sitting outside the pub alone with my book and a packet of crisps. Which was a massive treat and I looked forward to. My best friend at school had to be in her room (we were both the only children in the house) from 6 even when we were 11 or 12. If I slept over, which I did sometimes, we cut things out of magazines and listened to the Archers and were incredibly quick and quiet if we needed to go to the loo. Bed time wasn't until much later, 8 or 9. What were the adults DOING, I now wonder, from 6pm every night?

Don’t think families were so child centric in previous generations. Children fitted in. Children were encouraged to play out or amuse themselves.

Yes! I remember going on holiday with my parents and we would go to the beach in the morning which I loved and I would swim around with my dad while my mum read, and in the afternoon we would go to a nice village, have a walk around and then go to a cafe where I would read or (my mum says) rummage through her handbag.

I’ve seen little video clips of this so I know I’m not imagining it!

My kids were born over three decades that sounds weird one in the late 80's, on in the 90's and last one in the mid 00's Through all their childhoods I had friends or aquaintances who spent their days entertaining their kids, then they'd moan when they wouldn't go off with the other kids at our house and play out without coming back in and bothering the Mum every 5 minutes.
So it's not new. The majority of us did let them loose and send them out lots of land/fields where they entertained themselves and each other. We'd shout them back for food and drinks and to make sure no one was missing. Then us parents got time to chat and cook etc.
Independant kids are also a popular choice for other parents to invite out on days out with their own children. They don't monopolise the attention of the parents doing the invite.

Ok, so it has been going pretty well. She has challenged it a fair bit, but I’ve stayed strong abc explained that I am an adult and I have adult jobs I need to get on with. I’m just persistent with my ‘no, not now’ response. Between 9-3 she has had my attention more because of school, before and after that she has needed to entertain herself. 50% of that time has been whinging and asking me to play, but I have felt much less guilty about not playing with her thanks to this thread!

We’re currently in the garden and she’s taken it upon herself to clean the widows using the paddling pool water. Her idea, and I’m sat on my phone...... 😬

Cleaning windows is great - loads of housework she could help you with.

I’m an only child.
I read a lot.
I once washed my cardigan in the sink..it felted up a treat
Mum was surprisingly good about it

I big part of this is that I have huge ‘only child’ guilt. We tried and couldn’t have another and being from a big family myself, I feel like she’s missing out. So it’s good to hear only child experiences.

Being an only child is great, and also (I don’t know if this is from being an only child or not) I am a very self sufficient adult who is extremely happy in my own company, and never bored. These people struggling in self isolation (without kids) are a mystery to me as I would have no problem reading, gardening, chatting to friends online etc.