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Original poster

Can people PLEASE stop saying that mental health doesn't matter?

111 replies

Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 11:07

It does fucking matter. It absolutely does.

I am following ALL the government guidelines. I am isolating with my household. My DH and I are both WFH and our DS is not in nursery. I am going out for one walk a day. If I have to go out for food, that counts as my daily exercise. I keep my 2 metres distance from others. I am washing my hands frequently. If I become symptomatic, my entire household with self isolate for 14 days.

I am also 30 with no underlying health conditions. So my risk of serious illness or death if I contract Covid-19 is, statistically, low. Yes, I know that young people with no underlying health conditions have died of this. Yes, I know how serious it is. And yes, I will absolutely do exactly as I am told to do. But I have 3 suicide attempts behind me, from when my OCD was at its peak. Don't you dare tell me my mental health doesn't matter and I just have to suck it up and my physical health is more important, just because I have decided that I do not wish to sterilise all my groceries. I would rather accept the low risk of covid-19 transferring from the packaging than risk my OCD becoming that severe again.

I have seen several people on MN in recent days utterly dismiss mental health, and it just is not fucking on.

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Thecowinthemeadowgoesmoo · 26/03/2020 11:15

I agree with you. I honestly believe that mental health issues caused by the current situation are going to cause more deaths than the virus itself.
I have anxiety issues, I used to take medication but I had been off them for two years and coping well... Until this. I don't think I've ever felt as bad as I have recently. I had started to think I would rather be dead than feel as bad as I was. I actually feel a bit calmer now I'm not at work and we're all 'safe' at home.
My anxiety also manifests as ocd, I used to wash my hands until they bled. I know I'm washing my hands more than necessary right now because I'm scared not to, however, like you, I am not sanitising my shopping because I don't want it to get really bad again. We do what we have to do to stay sane.

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 11:20

Literally fed up of people saying well you won't care about your mental health when you're dead.

Fucking hyperbole. For a start, most people won't die from this virus even if they do catch it. For another thing, actually people's mental health can kill them, and frequently does.

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BasilDiffuser · 26/03/2020 11:21

It’s funny how people see different things. My Instagram is inundated with people talking about keeping a healthy state of mind is this time.
I do however think there will be a huge amount of suicides because of the economic headache that’s happening.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Covid-19
Thecowinthemeadowgoesmoo · 26/03/2020 11:22

I actually had a friend tell me she was putting her mental health on the back burner. Wtf?? If you can do that you don't have mental health issues!

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 11:25

I think this is partly due to the fact that these days everyone and his uncle says they have depression, anxiety etc - there's a massive difference between feeling a bit low and anxious some days, which we all do, and full on mental illness.

Like, at the height of my OCD I was washing my hands over 300 times a day. They were red raw and bleeding. I wore plastic gloves to go outside, and plastic bags over my shoes. I cleaned my entire flat 3-4 times a day, every day. I couldn't work. It was truly unbearable.

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Foxyloxy1plus1 · 26/03/2020 11:27

I have had depression and anxiety for years and had times of being unable to function.

For the last two or three years, I have managed to stay off medication, to exercise, do crafts, stay on an even keel and practise mindfulness. It’s all gone to shit now. I seem to be in fight or flight panic mode all the time, which is exhausting, but I can’t eat or sleep.

So yes, I think it’s so bad that people don’t understand and cannot empathise. No one wants to feel like this all the time. Sense and reason go out of the window. Take heart from knowing that some of us do understand and do care.

Mammatino · 26/03/2020 11:32

You are doing everything you can to keep your family safe, of course your mental health matters and of course you matter. You know what works for you in terms of bolstering your troubles, talk to your partner, write your journal and breathe. I don't mean to be trite, I promise just now we need to go back to basics. The little things that give you strength need to come into play now. I like to see to keep calm (I'm shit at it though). I have bi polar and am struggling to get my medication, I have had to reduce by a third because I know going cold turkey will destroy me. I have my medication delivered and they have fucked it up 3 times now, we are SI due to coughs and temps, I can go to the docs but I can't get an appountment and they won't take a prescription request over the phone. I know it's not forever and I know i will survive this, it didn't stop me painting a wall last night whist screeching Vera Lynn songs... I hope my neighbours will forgive me. Try to believe you will be OK and ignore the silly sods who haven't a clue, lucky so and so's.

Mammatino · 26/03/2020 11:33

Sew not see... I quite like seeing too.

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 11:37

Flowers to all dealing with this right now.

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Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 11:42

I am so sad today.

OP posts:
Eyeslikethesea · 26/03/2020 11:42

I have clinical depression and a history of high anxiety. i work in a shop and i thought i was coping well until Monday when i went to shit and had my first full on panic attack in a few years.
I have asthma and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't calm myself down and none of my distraction techniques built up over the years worked. Luckily I phoned my friend and she helped eventually talk me down.
I feel like i would honestly rather take my own quick way out rather than the utter horror of not being able to breathe or watch anyone in my family do the same.
Mental Health always matters because you can't self isolate away from yourself, you are always with you and not knowing what to do for the best is driving me insane.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 26/03/2020 11:46

I agree OP. I felt like I was getting dirty looks yesterday when I went for a walk (I could possibly be paranoid!)

I don’t care though - as long as we’re allowed to exercise, whilst observing social distancing I will do so. The ramifications of not being able to have a walk/run each day will detrimentally affect my dh and dc’s as well as me.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 26/03/2020 11:48

I think there are some nasty trolls on MN who love, just love telling people what to do (and what not to do)

I am choosing the threads I read on here very carefully

I suggest you do the same Grin

Also, you do not owe any of us an explanation or justification of what you do, how often you go out or how long for. The people who love sitting in judgement of others are having a field day shooting anyone down who even tries to exercise or look after their own mental health

Look after yourself, and only connect with people and websites (and threads) that are supportive and friendly

Flowers
ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 26/03/2020 11:48

Pishposh can I gently suggest that mumsnet and the like may not be the best place for you right now?

Or if you feel you need to be on here, avoid the Covid threads? Flowers

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 26/03/2020 11:49

I agree completely OP, I actually saw someone on here saying that it was worth it for some people to die of suicide as long as the isolation that drove them to it saved more people from death by CV. As if you can just trade peoples lives off against each other like that. Absolutely revolting attitude.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 26/03/2020 11:50

I agree with you op, it feels like a competition on here who can martyr themselves the most .
You are sneered at for showing the most human of emotions, fear and anxiety .
I am adhering to all the guidelines but I can still say it is hard and it is horrible. I don't need people to point out the bleeding obvious how they or someone they know has it harder .
I am a human being and sometimes we we are selfish that is a fact .

inwood · 26/03/2020 11:51

I haven't seen anyone say anywhere that mental health doesn't matter.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 26/03/2020 11:52

And as for people with their passive aggressive biscuits and flowers they can stick them where the sun dont shine

NewYearNewJob123 · 26/03/2020 11:52

Who do you think said your mental health doesn't matter?

MadamePewter · 26/03/2020 11:53

@Pishposhpashy I totally agree with you. And so much for all the “it’s ok not to be ok” Facebook pish.. it seems people now judge you like you’re making a choice not to be ok.

If one more person suggests being positive and taking up a hobby I won’t be responsible for my actions 😂

MadamePewter · 26/03/2020 11:55

@Dontforgetyourbrolly 😂 just saw your post

fantasmasgoria1 · 26/03/2020 11:59

I totally agree. I have bpd with depression and anxiety. It's really difficult right now. My fiance is a keyworker so is out at work. On the days he is working I am staying in. On his days off we will be going shopping for food because I don't agree with panic buying and so need to get weekly food. This is classed as a days exercise other days off will be going for a walk. We have secluded places we can go which is good. It's our birthdays so we have ordered our stuff online. I have also ordered craft items to enable me to try and concentrate on other things. I will follow the guidance from the government but I will do what I need and can to keep myself becoming so mentally unwell I take up valuable resources by becoming hospitalised. You have to do what's necessary to help yourself. I read a few articles by NHS doctors etc. One said he fears for those with mental illnesses and those without developing them. Loads of people on mumsnet are saying we all must stay in and not go out but the government says we can so I will.

PinkMeTickle · 26/03/2020 12:00

I'm the same OP I know how you feel!

After being in therapy on and off for years for my OCD around illnesses and cleaning, it's a big struggle to keep on top with everything that's going on.

So many people just don't understand. It's rubbish.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 26/03/2020 12:01

I havent seen such comments but they sound at best thoughtless and at worst very hurtful and dismissive indeed.

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 12:01

I haven't seen anyone say anywhere that mental health doesn't matter.

I have literally just been told that on another thread.

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