Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Can people PLEASE stop saying that mental health doesn't matter?

111 replies

Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 11:07

It does fucking matter. It absolutely does.

I am following ALL the government guidelines. I am isolating with my household. My DH and I are both WFH and our DS is not in nursery. I am going out for one walk a day. If I have to go out for food, that counts as my daily exercise. I keep my 2 metres distance from others. I am washing my hands frequently. If I become symptomatic, my entire household with self isolate for 14 days.

I am also 30 with no underlying health conditions. So my risk of serious illness or death if I contract Covid-19 is, statistically, low. Yes, I know that young people with no underlying health conditions have died of this. Yes, I know how serious it is. And yes, I will absolutely do exactly as I am told to do. But I have 3 suicide attempts behind me, from when my OCD was at its peak. Don't you dare tell me my mental health doesn't matter and I just have to suck it up and my physical health is more important, just because I have decided that I do not wish to sterilise all my groceries. I would rather accept the low risk of covid-19 transferring from the packaging than risk my OCD becoming that severe again.

I have seen several people on MN in recent days utterly dismiss mental health, and it just is not fucking on.

OP posts:
NewYearNewJob123 · 26/03/2020 12:17

Yeah OP. I've also seen MNetters saying people shouldn't take their baby for a drive when it's the only thing that will get them to sleep and people shouldn't go to their allotments alone and if they do, they're selfish fucks.

It's MNetters being dicks, not edicts.

AnotherMurkyDay · 26/03/2020 12:20

It does matter, a lot.
But we are being asked to prioritise.
How you do that is down to your perspective.
I believe we need to deal with the Macro (large scale) problem first then deal with the Micro (small scale) problems after. But when you are struggling with mental heath you perspective shifts so that you Micro problem is the bigger one, it's all you can see. It completely eclipses the Maco problem because it is so overwhelming. We are experiencing the world differently. Our perspective is entirely different. To me Covid 19 is massive and your mental health is tiny. To you your mental health is massive and covid 19 is tiny.

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 12:21

AnotherMurkyDay

Sorry, where have I said that covid 19 is tiny? Have you not read my post?

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Covid-19
Mammatino · 26/03/2020 12:23

I've seen a few. Try to ignore that crap pishposh. People are frightened that's all, it's nasty but it's not personal to you, when you're not well it's hard to see that sometimes, I understand. Keep safe.

AnotherMurkyDay · 26/03/2020 12:28

You didn't say it's tiny sorry that was probably worded badly. I meant that mental health seems like the bigger issue because of your perspective and corona seems like a bigger issue to other people because of theirs. Mental health isn't tiny and nor is covid 19. But most people are prioritising covid 19 because most people will prioritise it as it is currently the bigger of the two issues (to most people who don't have mental health issues)

fantasmasgoria1 · 26/03/2020 12:42

If you are driving your baby around to help to get it to sleep you are not coming into contact with anyone. It's just you and your baby in a car. My bil went to his allotment. He drove their alone saw two people on their patches over the other side of the place so many times more than 2 metres apart. So long as we are using common sense and following the government guidelines its fine.

TheGirlWithAPrince · 26/03/2020 12:47

I also dont think im coping with my mental health .. i dont like not knowing when it will end, it makes me feel a certain type of anxiousness that i cant explain.

Its like, im not struggling that much with being at home but i am struggling with the lack of knowledge...what if this lasts all the way through summer or what if it gets worse etc

I will be able to cope for the next 2 weeks and maybe ill cope for another 3 weeks after that bringing us into may but i know i cant handle this past may

Thecowinthemeadowgoesmoo · 26/03/2020 12:59

TheGirl that's how I feel, it's the uncertainty.

Gingaaarghpussy · 26/03/2020 13:05

I rang my doc on monday to get my antidepressants increased. Luckily I dont have to do face to face. The biggest thing for me is the panic buying.
Because I'm agoraphobic I naturally self isolate and only go out once or twice a day. I avoid anything to do with the virus unless it's in my local newspaper.
My mental health matters to ME. This is one of the reasons I dont post at the moment unless it's a picture of my cat.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 26/03/2020 13:24

Also "all your being asked to do is stay home and watch TV" is so far my most hated phrase of the year. Some people might be thrilled to sit on their arse watching TV alone for weeks or months, but for lots of people that will send them over the edge. Also the people expressing disbelief that anyone is sad they can't do more exercise. I can only assume that there are a lot of extremely sedentary TV addict introverts on here who can't comprehend that there are people who don't want to live like that. Either that or they do get how hard it is and they're just being disingenuous unempathetic twats.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 26/03/2020 13:28

But most people are prioritising covid 19 because most people will prioritise it as it is currently the bigger of the two issues (to most people who don't have mental health issues)

But that's the issue isn't it. The OP and most other people I've seen posting with mental health issues are prioritising corvid 19 first by following all the rules in place and yet that's still not enough to a lot of posters on the these boards. Of course when this is all over, we'll be expected to go back to being useful and productive too even though if we're barely functioning.

I have ptsd. The trauma behind that diagnosis means being stuck in my house is my worst nightmare. I am still following the guidelines even though I'm being incoming increasingly suicidal. I can't get medication because I'm under the adult mental health team so my GP won't prescribe. My psychiatrist is ex-military and has been re-deployed. None of his colleagues still working in mental health are willing to prescribe anything for me without his say so which they either can't get or aren't willing to ask. So I'm stuck in the middle of a nightmare trying to keep my 21 month old and my 5 year old entertained for 19 hours a day (neither are great sleepers, one won't go to sleep, one wakes up at the crack of dawn) whilst losing my grip on reality. I know what it's like to struggle for breath, to think each tiny bit of air you manage to snatch into your lungs is going to be the last bit you get and this is making me wish I hadn't fought so hard to live.

It's not a case of prioritising one over the other. As far as I can see everyone is prioritising the pandemic but there needs to be acceptance and understanding that people can't turn mental health issues off and that by taking most people's coping mechanisms away, things are getting worse very quickly for a lot of people.

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 17:54

Dinosauratemydaffodils

Thank you so much for posting. You have summed it up exactly.

OP posts:
Packingsoapandwater · 26/03/2020 18:03

I think you are forgetting something.

You are forgetting the mental health impact of contracting Covid-19 yourself.

I am self-isolating with a suspected case, and it is a very unpleasant virus. Nothing like the flu. I'm days in now, and am so perpetually tired that I just want to cry. It's breaking me and I feel quite desperate.

If you have mental health issues, you do not want to get this virus. You really don't. Protect yourself.

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 18:11

Packingsoapandwater

I AM protecting myself. Absolutely nowhere in my post have I said that I haven't been.

OP posts:
LotsaDo · 26/03/2020 18:48

Also "all your being asked to do is stay home and watch TV" is so far my most hated phrase of the year. Some people might be thrilled to sit on their arse watching TV alone for weeks or months, but for lots of people that will send them over the edge.

Yes. I completely agree.

PennyArrowBar · 26/03/2020 18:52

For the last two or three years, I have managed to stay off medication, to exercise, do crafts, stay on an even keel and practise mindfulness. It’s all gone to shit now. I seem to be in fight or flight panic mode all the time, which is exhausting, but I can’t eat or sleep.

This. I am struggling. I realised this morning that while my anxiety had had peaks and troughs, the last time I felt this acutely fearful and panicked for days on end was ten years ago when I was in an abusive relationship.

PennyArrowBar · 26/03/2020 18:55

And like another pp, my anxiety when bad manifests as OCD, and I can feel it creeping up on me. My hands are raw and sore from over washing, I have picked them badly too (dermatilamania) and I have a stress rash over my body.

Dowser · 26/03/2020 18:55

I wondered if the suicide rate would go up.
Just horrendous

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 18:57

Tbh there are two things keeping me from tipping over the edge right now - my DS and nice food. Sp frankly if I want a fucking takeaway I'm going to get one.

OP posts:
MadamePewter · 26/03/2020 19:08

@PennyArrowBar this is what’s happened to me! I’ve pulled myself up after a horrendous time with loads of effort and activity and therapy and quite frankly it’s tipped me right back into that awful place.

@Pishposhpashy now I think a takeaway might help 😃

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 19:10

I've just had a curry and it was delicious.

OP posts:
ScottyDottyDooDah · 26/03/2020 19:12

Who? Who is saying this? I havent seen anything

Original poster
Pishposhpashy · 26/03/2020 19:18

ScottyDottyDooDah

It was said to me on a thread today. Better mentally ill than dead.

OP posts:
MadamePewter · 26/03/2020 19:19

There is millions of stuff all over this site telling people to be grateful, pull their socks up, people are dying so don’t you dare to say you’re finding it difficult, you selfish witch, what about Anne Frank etc. It’s vile.

MadamePewter · 26/03/2020 19:20

@Pishposhpashy now I am jealous!