And lo, the screaming in gardens has started

[Lludmilla]

Kids have been off school 1.5 days. That didn't take long, did it??

(And yes, I know this is a polarising topic on here, but today I'm really struggling to wfh due to constant screaming from kids playing in gardens. And no, I don't mean shouting or laughing or giggling, none of which I'd have a problem with... I mean full-on, top-of-the-lungs screaming.)

I get that we have to make allowances/keep things in proportion etc etc at a time like this, I really do. I also get that it's nice that we at least have some sunshine during all this, and I think it's great that kids can play in their gardens. But the SCREAMING. It's like this every single year in my street as soon as the sun dares to show its face, it gets to me and makes it hard to concentrate on work, and sometimes I need to vent even though I know I'm likely to get a pasting for it.

Surely it can't just be me?

And look at all the teens and young adults now who think that the rules can be broken because they were never told no.

Again, the noise of kids playing is lovely. Screaming like they’ve been poked in the arse with a very sharp stick? Not so much.

Screaming and shouting is not on. I know that kids forget, but someone should at least attempt to teach them how to be considerate. If mine made a screechy racket I would bring them in.

We live near a screamer. I agree a whole world of difference between noisy play (absolutely fine) and ear piercing screaming which is horrendous.

Unusually for me I've cut to the end to reply.

Re:screaming. Little girls have been conditioned to scream as a reaction to any challenging stimuli. It's not a new thing, but it is a thing. The concept is that a scream is a cry for help. One that will be answered by a stronger human, i.e. a male.

It lays waste to any feminist doctrine, but there it is.

Many girls have been taught, and learned well, that the societal response to any challenge is 'the scream'. Help me/save me.

Today, a spider 🕷 all of 3/4" across, fell out of the ceiling vent onto my shoulder at work, which I didn't spot. Til a coworker did. I'm not a fan, but a brief sweep saw it off, however, 8O% of the others just as well might have seen a 14 foot crocodile fall on me, such was the hysteria.

It's what girls are conditioned to do.

I don’t think I can scream - I can yell but never a horror movie leading woman scream.

Honestly some people are never happy , we are all stuck in our homes ,at least the kids are sticking to the rules ,I feel like screaming too.

I’m seeing plenty of kids running around the park with their little pals. So their parents/nannies aren’t sticking to the rules!

nomdefuckit

Sorry, no.

We're locked in for three months.

I'm not telling my son to be quiet in his own garden

Well I am glad you're not my neighbour. I would find that annoying. I have two kids but if they shout/scream they get told to quieten down as it's not fair on the neighbours. It's part of being part of a community and getting along with people. Luckily neither of mine scream.

I'm not telling my son to be quiet in his own garden

You do understand that there's a difference between being quiet and not screaming at the top of your voice, don't you?

Why should a child be allowed to create a very intrusive and unpleasant noise in his 'own garden' when it means that others have to experience that noise for hours on end in their 'own gardens'?

I'm assuming you live in close proximity to others who will find the noise stressful and unpleasant, even if they at too polite to tell you. Why is your child's desire to scream more important than other people's desire to relax?

Full on screaming and bawling at the top of their lungs isn't on.

Equally, I do think some people who say "I have no issue with normal play and laughter" really do have an issue with normal outdoor play and laughter noise because their idea of what's normal/reasonable is a fraction above a quiet indoor voice.

Why is your child's desire to scream more important than other people's desire to relax?

Because he is a toddler and most of things that made him happy have been taken away. If don't want to live with normal family noise, move to an isolated farm.

My almost 6 year old son is a screamer. He has ASD and is loud sometimes. It does my head in so god know how the neighbours feel

He has a 3 year old sister and she's not too bad.

If either is getting too loud however I ask them to turn the volume down a notch and warn them if it continues they will go inside for 5 minutes. This seems to work most of the time. I've only had to send the 3 year old in once

We live in an area with a lot of kids in gardens and their noise doesn't annoy me as much as my own kids noise 😂

It's a bit ironic, talking about being part of a community but objecting to the normal behaviour of the youngest members.

How about DIY noise? Can we ban that too? Playing music in the day time? Car and house alarms, cats and dogs? Total silence!

That's not how communities work

I'm not telling my son to be quiet in his own garden

Parents like this.

Because who gives a fuck about anyone else, eh?

It's not about not giving a fuck

It's reasonable expectations of urban or suburban life

Silence in the day time is not it

No one is asking for silence.

They are asking you to reign in high pitched screaming because that is at best annoying; at worse sets off a visceral, hormonal response in others whose amygdala goes into overdrive as that scream is designed to alert others of danger.

Teach your child how to express themselves in a way that doesn't upset others.

Noise is one thing. All kids make a bit of noise.

Screaming is quite another. Only a feckless parent would allow their (nt) child to scream without any attempt to quieten them in consideration of other people.

But selfish people pride themselves on being just that.

No. Sorry.

I can't train my son to be quite just in case a neighbour has a particular medical condition.

Noise cancelling ear phones?

We used to go the park daily. He's upset that we can't. He's upset that he can't see his Nanny or friends. I'm not making it worse for him on a just one care proposition.

If don't want to live with normal family noise, move to an isolated farm.

Screaming is not normal family noise. Playing, laughing, talking in loud voices outside is normal family noise.

In years of childminding and being a parent, I've never had a problem teaching children that screaming isn't OK unless you need urgent help.

Toddlers don't need to scream constantly to be happy. When they do, you distract them or bring them inside for a little while.

Everyone is struggling at the moment and it's more important than ever that we show a little consideration for others wherever possible. Allowing your child to constantly make a nasty and intrusive noise that pervades your neighbour's gardens and homes is unnecessary, unpleasant and selfish.

I feel for you OP. For those of us trying to put online learning materials together and do lessons and recordings and suchlike noise in an anathema. It's not fair and it adds to stress and already increased workloads. Parents should have some consideration and keep their children quiet. If they annoy you inside then don't share the pain.

I can't train my son to be quite just in case a neighbour has a particular medical condition

Don't have any more then! Seriously. If you can't perform a basic parenting function you should not be having children.

Most of the garden/backyard screamers near us are the adults. Blazing rows, screaming at their kids, yelling their drug orders over back walls... The kids scream too, but there's much less swearing (usually!) and at least they sound like they are having fun, not about to kill each other.

just in case a neighbour has a particular medical condition.

You don’t need a medical condition to be irritated by a screaming child.

You do however, require a modicum or consideration and kindness to be a decent neighbour. You also need common sense to be a half decent parent. A life skill for our kids is consideration for other people.

And suggesting people move away is just puerile. If you have zero concept of how your lack of empathy could impact your neighbours, and care not a jot regardless, perhaps YOU should move away?

It's sad to see the parents on this thread that happily allow their children to scream consistently in the garden.
Screaming is not playing, laughing, singing, chatting loudly or even the odd moment of shrill noise due to over excitement. It's screaming at the top of their lungs for a long time.
Any parent who can't manage or won't ask their children to stop this is not parenting well.
(Applies to NT children only)

The noise of kids playing is lovely. Hearing them laugh and sometimes shout or squabble is not something I would ever complain about. They have the right to enjoy their gardens.
But people also have the right not to be subjected to excessive or anti social noise. I wouldn’t allow my kids to shriek and scream or relentlessly bounce for hours on the trampoline.
We all need to be so considerate and also tolerant. Shame that even in the current position people can’t manage that.
(If you’re my neighbour I thought it quite sweet last night when your kids argued over who would be tidying up. They both wanted to. )