And lo, the screaming in gardens has started

[Lludmilla]

Kids have been off school 1.5 days. That didn't take long, did it??

(And yes, I know this is a polarising topic on here, but today I'm really struggling to wfh due to constant screaming from kids playing in gardens. And no, I don't mean shouting or laughing or giggling, none of which I'd have a problem with... I mean full-on, top-of-the-lungs screaming.)

I get that we have to make allowances/keep things in proportion etc etc at a time like this, I really do. I also get that it's nice that we at least have some sunshine during all this, and I think it's great that kids can play in their gardens. But the SCREAMING. It's like this every single year in my street as soon as the sun dares to show its face, it gets to me and makes it hard to concentrate on work, and sometimes I need to vent even though I know I'm likely to get a pasting for it.

Surely it can't just be me?

I have my headphones on today in between video meetings (I hate video calls!). French lion king dad is singing away merrily. I don’t mind when his little girl sings - she is horribly shy when she is out so it’s nice to hear her. Him - I don’t want to hear him (he yells at his wife). Nor Spanish lion king dad - he is just LOUD!

Me and my siblings did not scream all the time when we were young. Our parents would not let us and we took notice of our parents.

If you asked any of the children being described here 'do you scream all the time in the garden?' they would say no. If you asked them if they do what their parents say and whether their parents tell them what to do all the time they would also, mostly, say yes. Children are really unreliable witnesses to how well-behaved they are.

We have a screamer nearby. Once though after being up all night as DH was rushed to hospital and admitted at 5am to a ward I was trying to get to sleep. I’d been awake for over 24 hours by this point, I opened the window and yelled ‘will you bloody stop screaming!’. I wasn’t proud of myself but there was no place in my home to escape it and I had been lying awake because of it. She did shit up though and hasn’t been as bad lately. I think her parents heard me and have clamped down. She just screams all the time.

Separate swans you need to treat screaming like any other bad behaviour.

If he screams he has to come in and sit in time out. Everytime.

There really is no excuse for screaming during play, especially solo play.

We have a car alarm going off intermittently here, it's been on the go since Sunday, and it's in the street which is separated from us by some waste ground so I'm not really sure whose it is. I'm trying to do a quite tricky bit of work in dribs and drabs around keeping DC entertained and it's almost driven me to tears of frustration. You are allowed to leave your house to sort your shitty car out, dickheads.

That feels a bit better.

@LisaSimpsonsbff I know for sure that me and my siblings did not scream all the time. My parents were loving but also fairly strict. It just would not have been tolerated.

I also know for sure that none of my siblings' children were screamers.

I get that most children scream sometimes but screaming for hours on end unless in pain is not acceptable. One day last summer the girl next door was screaming so loud I honestly thought she had had some terrible accident. But no she was fine and still the parents said nothing

When I was a child, screaming just didn’t happen. If a child screamed, you assumed they were injured. Screaming is a hang over from being a baby and I do think it’s a substitute for language.

The death stare works very well on most babies too! Just keep staring at them. They look back quizzically and stop screaming. It’s my magic wand in the supermarket!

We are all stuck at home, which is even more reason for parents to tell their screeching children some consideration for their neighbours.

Bad parents - being stuck at home is not an excuse to allow your child to go feral

I love the death stare. Works everywhere, including chuggers. They start coming towards me, big smile. Death stare and they change direction.

If you don't have one. Well, make use of the extra time we have indoors and get practising.

No-one is saying I don't think, any of us didn't scream. Of course, we did. We were just told variations of shut up. Might have gotten away with 10 minutes of being extra loud. But not a chance could we have gotten away with it for longer.

My eldest, he has adhd and autism. Took longer with him. Still screams now and he's in his 20's. But with positive encouragement, and sounding like a broken record. A tantrum or two from me. He stopped constantly doing it.

I know some people who cannot control it for a variety of reasons. However, older children/teens/adults, generally constantly scream for hours, are distressed in some way and don't know how to say it.

I really hate when labels are used as a go to reason. In my household, we have a multitude of labels. It takes time, of course, but behaviours can be changed. I've been around people all my life with labels, young and old and for the most behaviours can be changed.

I know it's not always possible. And it's bloody hard to still be dealing with the same stuff several months later. You adapt and change tactics until something works. At times because of behavioural issues related to the condition, people avoid going outside.

And close my windows and put music on. Erm why should others restrict their fresh air by closing the windows? When all it takes is for parents to explain acceptable behaviour. Closing windows doesn't solve a thing,

Take responsibility for your child's behaviour. People shouldn't be having to spend money on earplugs, noise-cancelling headphones etc. People shouldn't have to shout to your child to be quiet.

Yea it's annoying for you hearing their noise. Well, quite frankly tough fucking shit. I did my job. You do yours. Bloody allowances and consideration for them. What about the poor bastards who have to listen to this excessive noise? Wheres their consideration? Oh but it's ok, they can spend cash they might not have, to drown out the noise of your screamers.

To me there is a difference between normal play noise and screaming. I can shut out normal play noise because it just becomes background noise. I can even shut out 'none distressed' sounding loudness from kids, because again, it just becomes background noise.

What I can't shut out is top of your lungs alarm call type screaming, because I think most people are wired not to, particularly when it's a child.

I've just listened to ten minutes of a child somewhere nearby doing that. The parents are around but not dealing with it. I think it's really wrong.

Not only is it annoying, it's risky. My parents and our friends parents used to tell us off for screaming and made the point that if we screamed like that all the time, if we were in real danger and needed help and screamed there was a chance no one would take it seriously.

To explain it a bit better.
Those who understand, please don't read any further.

Think of the most annoying song you know.
It's annoying right?
You can switch it off eventually.
But it's hard. To switch off that annoying song.
It's there. Over and over again in your mind.
It's driving you crazy.
Not doing anything?
Now think of something that makes you itch.
Nits
The itch you cannot reach
You've still got that annoying orange song in your head.
Omg the itching.
That fucking Orange
That stupid frog with his ring and ding

If you now think screeching is fine, I'm sure your neighbours can arrange something, whilst socially distancing themselves to help you enjoy some of the above, and of course, it all getting drowned out by the screechers.

Yes, really it's that annoying.

I agree with you op, my kids and next doors kids have been doing this. We have limited it as we know it is probably doing our other neighbours heads in. The kids are bored and frustrated at having no play dates and no school plus no one is at work so we are all in with the windows open.

I’ve always wanted to learn the drums.

I love hearing kids laugh and play.

I don’t love shrieking and screams that sound like something murderous is going on.

I’m still working. With travelling, I reckon I have a 15 hour day. This does not include shopping, exercise or whatever. I also work shifts.

I understand they are bored and I’m super sorry for them but this has been constant since Friday. I’m sleeping (badly) in noise cancelling headphones and still I hear them.

I’m doing rain dances.

Timefor the Goverment to bring in quiet hours like they have in Germany, NO noise between 13-15:00 every day and all of Sunday. No children bouncing on trampolines, no screaming at the top of their lungs, no kicking balls against walls or fences. If we all had a guaranteed quiet time in the middle of the day, we would cope much better

Quiet hours? I like that!

When DS was little he lived in a swanky apartment block where he wasn’t allowed to practice the piano after 8pm and children were definitely seen and not heard in the common areas.

As long as it stops by about seven, you can't complain.

These kids have lost school, can't see their friends or in some cases even leave the house for three months. Hobbies, clubs, the space to run, all gone.

Can't see their grandparents, can't go to the park. Their diets may have to change due to lack of delivery. Their parents may be stressed, ill or in hospital.

Let them scream in the garden.

And some will loose a parent or grandparent this summer

Especially if they keep going out and visiting each other.

Screaming and playing are two very different things.
Screaming is just not acceptable ever.

No one is saying they can't play and have fun, they just don't have to scream!

My Stepson has just spent 5 days in a dark room with coronavirus, one of symptoms was the worst headache of his life, can you imagine lying in bed in agony, thinking you are going to die and all you can hear is a child screaming for no bloody reason ?
Parents, someone in your street will be dying from this virus at home, dont let the last sound they hear be your child screaming and remember families all around you will be greiving, let them have a bit of peace. If we dont let have people have a bit of piece everyday our society will breakdown very very quickly. People dying at home trumps your childs right to scream blue bloody murder for no reason.
Be a decent person and do the right thing

Sorry, no.

We're locked in for three months.

I'm not telling my son to be quiet in his own garden.

Life must go on. Kids shouldn't live under a funerary fog.

I hope your stepson is ok.

Screaming though? There is no need to scream. There really isn’t.

Try telling that to an excitable small child, there's more going on in the world 🙄

I'm not telling my son to be quiet in his own garden.

There’s a fairly large spectrum between keeping quiet and screaming. There is absolutely no need for your son to scream and no excuse for you to let him.