I am absolutely fucking drowning - please help!

[Spanneroo]

First day of school closures and I really truly can't cope.

DD(5) is in yr 1
DD(2) is very high energy and an absolute tornado - no longer has a nap, and attention span of a housefly
DTs(3mos) have very different needs atm as T1 is much bigger and developing faster than T2. Bedtime is synchronised, but daytime schedules are not.

We are in a 2 bed flat which we were due to move out of but it's fallen through since corona and we will likely be stuck here for the foreseeable future.

Trying to get any time for DD(5) to help her with her schooling is an absolute fucking nightmare and I just cannot cope. Since a long walk this morning, there has been a child crying at all times. I can't spread myself this thinly in such a tiny space.

Please does anyone have any ideas, esp for DD(2)? I love her but it's definitely her that's making this so utterly horrendous. She's really hard work usually, when I can spend all day out to keep her running around all the time. The staying at home is absolutely brutal and I can feel myself cracking already . I'm usually very laid back and not much fazes me, but my god, I don't think k can do this!

Don't worry about the school work. It's really not that important. Just read with her every night. That'll do.

Do not stress about school work. Do your walk. Then, if you can a craft session, followed by TV time. Lunch. Story. Make believe/small toy play/Lego. Walk. Tea. -- or whatever works for you. Do not worry about worksheets etc Twins are hard enough without the 2 other kids as well. (The government haven't told schools they have to set work.....) Good luck.

Sod the school work. Put on CBeebies whilst you have a cup of tea. Then go for another walk.

Unmumsnetty hugs coming your way

For actual activities - can you sit the 2 year old in the bath with loads of pots of warm water and food colouring. Let her pour, mix, tip whilst sat there. Let her make playdough - flour and water (won't be the best ever but might entertain her for a while), watch 'Come Outside' on you tube - tells you how stuff works etc. Create a living room obstacle course, make a den from a douvet cover and take toys in ....

Wow you have my absolute sympathy that sounds really tough. Echoing previous poster, your DD is 5 you really don’t need to do too much - colouring, audio books (free on Amazon) Twinkle is free at the minute for simple worksheets cutting out etc, jigsaws etc. It really doesn’t have to be formal learning. Think about in terms of fine motor skills and so on rather than home schooling.
Don’t do too much ..a little every day. Then chunks of tv time, iPad ..early baths !!
Good luck..I thought i was struggling with two uncooperative teenagers!!

You have my utmost sympathy!

I agree - ditch the schoolwork unless it's something you can do as more of a play session.

This is an unprecedented international crisis and you need to adjust your expectations of yourself and the situation accordingly.

Find Youtube workout or dance videos to get DD2 to expend some energy. Lots of baths if you have one.

DC1 doesn't need help with schoolwork. She is year 1 and it is a low priority in your situation. My DD is in year 1 and she and DS are folding laundry, helping with cleaning and other jobs. It is educational for them too. Try and find things the older 2 can do together with minimal input from you.

When the kids are in bed, assess your stress points. Which parts of the day are difficult and think of ways to ease them. Packed lunches and snacks even though they are at home?

This is a unique situation so your focus is on just getting through it x

Will the 5 year old play with the 2 year old?

Do not even think about doing any school work - just read with her for ten minutes at some point if you can!

Wow you have your hands full. I can only echo PP’s, forget the homework. She’s 5 and in Y1, it’s really not important. You have enough on your plate.

All you need to do is keep them alive. Seriously, that's the benchmark right now.

I have a 6, 4 and 1 year so not quite as bad but struggling. Things that I am doing are forgetting about schoolwork in the house for now. Going on lots of walks. Trying to get out super early and super late. Think pj walk at dusk. Talk about school stuff on your walks. Ie can you spot nouns, counting games. Let them that want them have electronic devices when you are at home for your own sanity.
This is a long shot but do you know anyone that can load you an outside space. Eg we have a friend with a field who says we can borrow occasionally. Forest schools in the area are letting families book time slots.
Sending hugs too xxx

Go and find: one yellow thing, 2 red things, 3 triangles etc. you sit and drink tea whilst they hunt treasure!

Gosh, so many kind and helpful replies.

The two older DC generally play well together, though do need time apart a few times per day (don't we all!)

Using the bath for messy stuff is absolutely genius advice. How I've got this far into parenting and not thought about that, I don't know! We were going to make playdough this week anyway, so I'll definitely do that.

We are planning to make packed lunches every day as a morning activity. It's the only way I've been able to get laundry done with DD(2) and the twins during school time, as she can get it and eat while I go like the clappers.

I know you've all said to largely ignore the school work, but if this is is for several months, won't she be quite behind by then? We do quite a bit of reading. School has given us a pack of things they need to cover (topics, ideas for exercises etc) and I feel conscious of getting at least that done. Trying not to think about what happens if this goes on longer than the summer term...

This will calm down - promise. You'll get into a new normal. These first days are tough, it won't carry on like this. You're all adjusting..

As a pp said, keeping them alive is the most important thing, everything else is secondary. Slob about, it doesn't matter. Let the new normal emerge in its time.

Easy to say I know! Thinking of you, sending love ❤️

A trampette

I see it’s already been suggested upthread but I also had to put the littlest in the bath to get anything done with our other DCs x

The schoolwork just isn’t important at the minute. Just let her play. Children of that age learn so much more from playing than formal schoolwork.

If you have a partner just get him/ her to do an hour of the school stuff on their days off that plus reading etc will be fine , maintaining your sanity is the main aim .

Ditch the school work for now and go on Pinterest for ideas. Lots of things in there that cost nothing

Mini trampoline. I have a ridiculously high energy toddler. Lifesaver.

Speaking as a teacher, forget the schoolwork. In the next few days try and think about a little routine which play/craft/music/reading/exploring activities. That's plenty.

Please forget the school work. Principals from local schools have urged people not to stress themselves over school work and not to worry if none ever gets done- no child will be left behind when they all get back to school. Loads of children won’t get any schooling at home. The teachers know this and will be planning to account for it when they start back. Please do not worry. You don’t have to do any school work.

Please don't stress over school work. In Finland they don't even start school until they are age 7 and they all learn just fine. Do whatever it takes to get you through each day. Don't worry about plonking them in front of the TV for periods during the day. Take it one hour at a time.