I'm sad because having put real thought and effort into cards and presents for my own mum and milk (and having to buy my own card because he hadn't and ds is only six), dp has given the cards that were supposed to be for my mum to mil yesterday while I was in work. He didn't even text to ask if there was any difference.
It's only a tiny thing but the one for my mum had her favourite flowers on and a message inside that just so happened to tie into one of our little in jokes we had when I was growing up, both of which which would be lost on mil. The card for mil is really fitting with her style and is perhaps a bit more generic but is the sort of thing she likes. It's a bit 'straw that broke the camels back' because normally it wouldn't be a problem at all but it had me in tears last night.
I discovered this after a nine hour shift yesterday and now am going to have to try and find replacements. I can't give the other cards to my mum, they are not ones I would ever choose for her. She and mil are very different.
On top of this, a huge pile of enormous boxes of toys that had been left in mils at Christmas because we just Do Not have the space for them have appeared in the living room.
The idea behind it being that ds will have something to do with school being closed.
Which sounds thoughtful until you realise that actually, he has fucking loads of work set by his teachers, he will not be short of things to do and I have been telling people this since Thursday. But no fucker will listen to me. I am the one who will be responsible for continuing his education for the foreseeable (as well as working weekends in a care home) and have been given clear and concise instructions on how to keep him on track by the school, but everyone else seems to want to stick their oar in with 'ideas'. It's all very overwhelming.
And there is still magically nowhere to put the stupid fucking toys that ds had mercifully forgotten about but now suddenly remembers, so I have to try and teach him in an overcluttered house with lots of brand new distractions. It's incredibly stressful.
Also my dm (who is front line nhs, nurse in a gp surgery) is visiting today and I really don't think it's a good idea.
All of this put me a foul mood last night and now dp is sulking and making me out to be an arsehole because I had finally had enough and went to bed early in a bad mood and made clear to him I was upset about the cards and sudden arrival of crap we can't actually store when I've already got enough on my plate.
He is carrying on as normal. He is an industrial chemist so in the supply chain for medicine. His income isn't being affected. His routine won't change. His biggest inconvenience is that he might have to leave ten minutes earlier for the bus. He doesn't seem to get that despite dc having a school place, 9-3 hours means I can only work weekends now, as my shifts are 8-8 and there is no one to look after dc in the in-between hours, so my income will drastically reduce, and my workload drastically increase. At least dc will be safe at home. But he is an only child and he will be so lonely.
I have cried many times since Thursday night.
I know it won't last forever but my god I am sad. (and stressed to fuck. And so so tired)