A thread to be a bit sad about the little things and to be kind to one another

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Right, before anyone says it
Yes there are big terrible things happening
Trust me I know, probably I know more due to my worst than is good for my mental health
But i am still allowed to be sad an anxious about things and it seems on here currently allowing that space for people to vent their sadness kindly seems in short supply
Please can this thread be a place to let our sadness out safely and support with kindness
Little things can become huge when we're isolated and anxious about things we can't control
More than ever we need to share and support each other with the small anxieties because when this is all over we will have to pick ourselves up and get on with life and the more kindness and support now the the stronger we will be in the long term.

Toast is a joy. Bovril on toast is the best though.

@TreacherousPissFlap - good shout on the being kind to people who are keeping things going. I did a last supermarket shop on Friday before locking ourselves down. I haven't told anyone this, because I didn't want to seem to be doing the 'look how nice I am dance', but I bought a couple of big boxes of chocolates with my shopping. On the way out I asked customer services if I could leave them with them just to give to the staff as a tiny thank you for being so cheery and so helpful and working so hard. They said I had to check with the manager, he was just behind me, but was being ranted at by a man who wanted more than 2 bottles of whiskey. After he left I asked him about the chocolates and he said 'Of course I can, but are you sure?' I said that I was and I knew it was just a small gesture, but I hoped it helped a bit because it must be tough. And managed to choke up a bit, as I was already a bit on edge emotionally. And then, the big supermarket manager, who looked like a very stoic type, also choked up a bit, which was one of the most emotional things I've seen so far, just because it was so not what you'd imagine him to do, and pretty much summed up how everyone is feeling right now. So yes, I think a bit of kindness goes a long way right now.

Small gestures are massive at the moment

Going to bump this thread periodically

I'm sad about not going swimming anymore as it is respite for me (MH condition ands in my care plan) Sad about DS early finishing year 6 which he loves with his friends, that he won;t be able to play anymore in the trees and field in the school playground, miss the end of school stuff also and end of 11 years going to the primary school.

Sad that I had to turn away from the PIL when they tried to hug me yesterday, they have been so kind to me as NC with parents.

I'm scared my health condition which can get severe might flare up during this time and won't be able to get treated as usual as well. and scared for DH due to same.

A very bittersweet thread OP and agree it should be a kind space.

I'm really glad for this thread. Today has really brought it home for me. Everyone should be allowed to mourn little things that are important to them, even though there is always someone worse off.

I'm sad that we won't be able to celebrate DS2's first birthday with extended family. It'll just be me, DH and DS1.

I'm sad that we've had an offer accepted on our dream home that has taken us years to find, but we don't feel like we can get excited because of the economic turmoil the country is heading into. We've done our homework and decided to proceed, but it's bittersweet.

I'm sad that my brother and DH will both continue to be able to see parents for the foreseeable, but I won't. They both work in family businesses. Brother and Dad are farmers, so unlikely to need to stop contact. I'm secretly jealous, but I can't admit that in real life because it's ridiculous. It's just making me feel even more isolated and detached from my family.

I'm sad because my parents are going to miss out on the next 3 months of my children's lives. They are nearly 1 and nearly 3, they will change so much in the next 12 weeks.

Insignificant really I know, but I'm sad today.

Brilliant thread. Everyone needs to know they can be a bit sad about the “small” things without being told to get a grip and that they have no perspective. It’s perfectly possible to be / have both.

I’m sad for DS, age 9, who has high functioning autism. For his first couple of years at school he struggled socially, because despite being a very gregarious little chap, his inability to understand others meant he had no close friends and spent most playtimes by himself. With lots of work on social skills with a SLT, intervention from lovely school staff, understanding from his classmates and supreme effort in his part, he’s now really popular with lots of good friends, and gets invited to parties and play dates. I’m worried that months of isolation with just our little family for company might make him regress and he’ll be back to being the “weird kid” who gets left out.

I’m worried I’m going to be crap at this homeschooling business and the children will fall behind.

On an extremely petty and insignificant note; I bought DD new school shoes last weekend. She only wore them once, and will likely have outgrown them by the time school opens again. Bah!

I feel quite pathetic for feeling sad, as my reasons are entirely selfish.

I'm sad for having to cancel all plans to celebrate a significant (ends in 0!) birthday this week. Might manage a takeaway if it's still open, just me and DP.

I'm sad that I'll be seeing less of my family who I'm very close to.

And I'm sad about the definite cancellation of an Easter trip away, more than likely cancellation of a late May trip, and possible cancellation of summer holiday.

This is all coming on top of finding out that I'm being made redundant later in the year, and then losing my darling cat this week.

I'm trying to remind myself of the positive things - I don't have children to worry about, I can work from home, I have some outside space, I have plenty of food and gin.... but it's still getting me down. I've spent much of the past 3 days on the verge of tears, which isn't like me at all.

Good thread op. We all know there are bigger things going on but it is important to acknowledge the smaller disappointments, they do have an effect.

I'm sad for my DC having missed out on GCSE's and A levels.

For my 18yo who has just started their first relationship and now can't spend time together.

For my older dd who struggles with her mental health, lives alone and is now cut off from everyone

For cancelling our weekend away in the UK.

For not being able to see my mum who came out of hospital after surgery a couple of days ago.

For several friends having to cancel weddings.

All absolutely as it should be, just a bit disappointing.

It's ok to be sad and scared
And no one should be judged for that
Huge love to everyone

I'm sad for DD. She was supposed to be sitting A levels this year, that won't be happening. All her plans for the rest of year have gone out of the window. She's unceremoniously left college now, has lost her part time job, had first holiday with friends planned, festival planned, looking forward to uni. Not sure if any of it will be happening. And to top it off we are sat in a freezing cold house waiting for British Gas to come and fix the boiler.

We are trying to keep our spirits up but it's not easy. At least we have my Mother's Day chocolates to cheer us up. Hope everyone stays safe and well.

and now DS has had to stop seeing his girlfriend - her parents are not social distancing and so they are putting others at increased risk. He's just been in tears about it, they have been together for over 5 years and are planning to get married next year. I hope their relationship is strong enough to survive this.

@pitlochrypat - if your DS's relationship survives this, it'll be able to survive almost anything. He's learning a lot about his possible future inlaws though...

I've been managing the 'big things' pretty well, but I'm sad that the usual busyness of Lentern church life has had to be cancelled. The two things which really gave me a jolt though were tiny, a concert that was cancelled and an easter egg tombola likewise - absolutely the right thing to do in all cases.

I think we end up being rattled/saddened by the small things because the big things demand that we think/plan/do to the exclusion of feeling. The small things just 'are' and they feel like a petty kick when we're already down.

The small things just 'are' and they feel like a petty kick when we're already down.

Yes, totally agree.

At least it saves my stereotypically Scottish purse from paying out money j/k

I'm feeling very sad today. My fit healthy mum died last month and I feel very emotional today. She died very suddenly so it's all such a shock still. It doesn't seem real, like she's on holiday or something.

I'm very sad for my poor dad who so soon after losing his wife of 47 years is now looking at months of self isolation when that's the last thing he needs.

I'm very sad that my friends birthday weekend away in May is going to be cancelled. It was something I have really been looking forward to for months since mum became ill and she has been through some terrible times and has been such a support to me over the last few years.

We met because my son died, she is a specialist in the field and we became good friends. She hasn't had much luck and I'm sad for her we can't go away although I know we can go when hopefully things are back to normal (or whatever that is)

I'm so sad that every day life has been turned upside down and now everything just feels so uncertain, it's frightening for everyone. It's not nice seeing my friends having the same concerns and I worry terribly about the elderly and the vulnerable.

Right well I've decided it's time for a glass of wine now surely

Definitely wine o'clock

I’m sad that today was Mother’s Day but it hasn’t been anything special at all. My DC are literally climbing the walls, day 5 of ‘socially distancing’. We were going to walk around the local NT site (we’re members so go a lot anyway but thought walking around the grounds would be a good compromise) except they closed them all today. We don’t really know where to safely walk without being too close to others and I’m pregnant so not worth the risk.

Easter is probably going to be crap too.

Worried my DD’s birthday (early June) will be shit if nothing has reopened by then.

Worried about the fact DH still has to go into work even though he can easily WFH, his boss has told them all they can’t.

Worried that I’ll catch it and it will damage my unborn baby in some way even though I realise they have no evidence it will. Worried about bringing a newborn into the world right now full stop.

Just kinda shit all round atm.

I'm not sad so much as bloody annoyed at this bloody virus that's caused so much disruption to our lives. I know there are millions of people much worse off than I am but I can't help but have a selfish inner voice shouting about how unfair it is that we've had to cancel our first family holiday in 4 sodding years and how I have to go for an indeterminate amount of time without work and therefore without income because the schools are kind of closed but I don't qualify for that 80% wages thing from the gov't. I can't help but worry about my own family and our precarious financial situation and feel angry that it's being made worse because of a bloody virus.

I no mines minor compared to many of these. But I’m sad because my DD would be 4 soon (she was stillborn), her ashes are scattered near a lovely natural beauty spot that is a popular walking place, and now we won’t be able to visit her on her birthday, or indeed any day for months. It’s about an hours drive from me and would be horribly irresponsible to go over there right now. I can’t help but feel sad about it. I’m tucked up safely with my other DC which I’m incredibly greatful for, but it’s still nice admitting my sadness ‘out loud’ to everyone else

That's not minor at all @Alb1.

Posted too soon, meant to add .

Mine is extremely minor, my Good Food magazine came and it was full of celebrating Easter with loved ones. Easter was always the big one in my family (Christmas spent separately) and we won't see each other for ages now. Had a bit of a cry about that last night.

Doesn't matter if you think it's minor
That's the whole point of this thread

I'm a bit sad that my mum doesn't speak to me/has never met my children. I am also a bit sad that we are all ill today, self isolating - my partner is the worst and is in a separate room, and my children are too young to know what Mothers Day is, so today is just a normal day. No present, no card, no 'Happy Mother's Day'

On the other hand, I am incredibly happy and grateful that I have my DP and DC, we are (generally) fit and healthy, and we can have Mothers Day any time. For that I am so thankful.

It's the seemingly 'minor' things that get to us. I have coped with not going to my Dad's funeral and not being able to scatter his ashes but then cried buckets last night when I saw a public service announcement about spotting the symptoms of the illness that killed him. It's the little things that tip us over the edge.

We had our garden landscaped. I was so looking forward to BBQs with family and friends this summer.

I mean, I get to enjoy it but it's not quite the same, is it?

I'm sad for my Yr6 DS who will leave primary school with none of the usual rituals.

I'm sad because I love spring and my favourite places to visit will now be closed so I'll have to wait til 2021. I've been desperate for spring to arrive and now it has and it feels so very flat.

I'm trying to find joy in the small things and I'm sure I'll get over myself soon enough but I keep having little wobbles and getting teary then am ok again.