Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

DH won’t tell me Amazon Prime password

104 replies

VashtaNerada · 11/03/2020 05:45

So we have Amazon Prime which means we get free next day delivery. I generally just ask DH to order stuff but he often gets the wrong thing so I asked for the login details and he has point blank refused! We have a shared bank account so pay for it together but he claims it’s ‘his’ account and sharing details isn’t appropriate. What could he be up to?
I’m in two minds over this. Part of me is imagining gifts for another woman. But he grew up with fairly dysfunctional parents (who later divorced) who did all kinds of odd things he seems to think is normal, secrecy being one of them. For example he hates taking money from my purse if I ask him because he sees that as my personal space, even though I 100% trust him to take the money and nothing else.
Anyone else’s DH act like this? Am I being hopelessly naive in thinking it’s just a peculiar quirk? Or does anyone else think he’s right not to share his login details?

OP posts:

GiveHerHellFromUs · 11/03/2020 08:27

It sounds like he up to mischief

Yeah you can get up to loads of mischief on Amazon

SoupDragon · 11/03/2020 08:29

It sounds like he up to mischief.
Are there any other signs of infidelity?

Do you think the women on here who have said they don't share their password are also cheating?

homemadecommunistrussia · 11/03/2020 08:32

No way would I give dh my Amazon password! I don't think it's weird to keep somethings for yourself. I will order him things, no problem, he sends me a link so I get the right thing.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems

Catsrus · 11/03/2020 08:34

I wouldn't share my password - basic internet security. I had my own account linked to my now ex Dhs account for about 15yrs. My account benefiting from his prime. No crossover of passwords or details.

HermanHermit · 11/03/2020 08:34

The Amazon prime account is what first alerted me to my husband’s affair- a book of love poetry (ffs) and gift wrapped present (with Helpfully identifying card message printed by amazon) sent to his office address.

cdtaylornats · 11/03/2020 08:38

Sounds security conscious to me. Never share passwords.

LetThemEatDrama · 11/03/2020 08:39

I wouldn't share my Amazon account with DH and I'm definitely not cheating. We share bank accounts so it's not like I could hide purchases. It's got my wishlists on, including ideas for presents for other people, including him. It's my account for my Audible and Kindle books, its advertising and display is targeted to what I buy or look at, would be havoc for me if he was on it and vice versa - he has his own Amazon account. We share a Prime membership though as you can share it with someone so each of our accounts have Prime.

We have our own Netflix 'user' each for exactly the same reasons, although you get to that with a log-in we share of course so he could look at mine and I could look at his but it's not about secrecy (besides presents), it's about having something with your stuff on and tailored to you.

HPFA · 11/03/2020 08:40

I had a colleague who had all his Amazon orders delivered to work so his girlfriend wouldn't see the amount he was spending on Star Trek merchande.

Your husband may be buying things he doesn't want you to see but that doesn't mean he's doing anything sinister.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 11/03/2020 08:44

I would think it a bit weird - but then I share my Prime account with DS, my parents, my grandmother, my sister and her girlfriend - we all have our cards saved on it and use it freely. It does take a level of trust but I know none of them would rip me off. Similarly with Netflix and Sky, I hold the master accounts and they have the password. DH and I shared absolutely everything and for convenience had the same passwords so either of us could log into anything at any time.

However, outside my family I'm security conscious. I have a very difficult to guess password for my work computer, and every application that I use at work has a different password, because I'm a bit worried about losing my laptop on a train and it being hacked.

Andtwomakesix · 11/03/2020 08:59

I don't have my partners Amazon login details and he doesn't have mine. Mostly because we use it to buy each other presents! But I'm set up to share his prime benefits as we are at the same address. If he feels getting money from your purse is too personal, I'd say not sharing amazon logins with you is just something similar.

Mockerswithnoknockers · 11/03/2020 09:08

Go to browser settings and click on saved passwords.

WikkiTikkiWoo · 11/03/2020 09:10

You can share prime benefits within the household.. He just needs to go into his account and will be able to share prime delivery with you.

I have noting to hide, but wouldn't want to share my log in with my husband as I have things like wish lists for gift ideas for him..

IntermittentParps · 11/03/2020 09:26

I don't think he's cheating but I do think he sounds a bit thick: 'I send him the link for the exact item but instead of using it he looks it up from scratch and often gets the wrong thing'
Why on earth does he do this? Have you asked him, pointed out that it is counter-productive and asked him to just use the link in future?
I know you shouldn't need to talk to an adult like this, but it sounds as if you might.
And if he can't or won't manage that, get your own account and pay for Amazon separately.

SoupDragon · 11/03/2020 09:34

get your own account and pay for Amazon separately.

You don't need to pay for Amazon separately. It can be shared.

bemoreeverything · 11/03/2020 09:53

I would think he is hiding something. Getting stuff sent elsewhere.

SarahTancredi · 11/03/2020 10:03

I know the password to dps accounthe doesn't know mine

In fairness he had prime so it made sense for me to order some stuff on his like short notice world book day costumes and school equipment

You can add family to it now though.

We do however both have each others card details but we never use without asking.

I'd be a little suspicious if I'm honest but then I'd give myself a slap and remind myself that passwords are indeed private and its personal choice as to who you share it with and not to take it personally.

But dp trusts me not to look at his purchase history etc not that I would anyway

easterholidays · 11/03/2020 10:38

Agree with all those who say it's basic good security practice not to share passwords and it's nothing to do with who you do or don't trust. If you've shared passwords with anyone and your account is continued and money spent fraudulently you will likely not be covered. There's a reason these things are password-protected!

We don't know the dynamic of your relationship OP so we can't say whether it's unusual for him to do this, but it's certainly not uncommon and it's absolutely the right thing to do.

easterholidays · 11/03/2020 10:38

Account is compromised, that should say!

MuseumOfYou · 11/03/2020 10:41

We share the Amazon account etc but although we have a joint bank account, I don't like him going into my purse or bag. Nothing to hide but it's my personal space.

He had a habit of using my purse as a cash point at one stage which was really annoying. He doesn't do that any more but I don't like anyone going in my purse!

NeverTrustASmilingCat · 11/03/2020 10:47

Sharing Amazon Prime benefits: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=201910370

helpme7 · 11/03/2020 10:57

My spidey senses would be tingling.

You can order everything from condoms, sex toys, jewellery, women's underwear etc on there...he could easily use a different card.

It is not unlikely that it's getting up to no good, just like he might just have a weird quirk!

Firelink · 11/03/2020 11:59

Mine is like this, will always bring handbag a f not look in it, won't open my mail or look at my phone. No prob with passwords tho. Been this way ever since we met 47 years ago.

bespokepaininthearse · 11/03/2020 12:18

You can add additional people onto prime, so you don't need to use his log in, he invited you with your own account to use the prime. That's what we do here!

UhKevin · 11/03/2020 12:43

I have declined sharing my Prime account with DH. I also declined adding him to my Prime family as that still involved sharing payment details.

It doesn’t, and even if it did involve sharing payment details (that you could add cards to as well - and saying all of this as someone who has a separate bank account to their DH) - you’re married to him. You presumably live together and have committed to the guy for life. Are you worried he’s going to splurge your card limit on a piñata, a few paperbacks and 14 cases of Nutella then you won’t be able to track him down?

lmcneil003 · 11/03/2020 15:59

Soupdragon
Do you think the women on here who have said they don't share their password are also cheating?

Maybe yes, maybe no.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5