Hidden codes on cheating husband statements ?

[Brainengaged1]

I’m checking his statements tomorrow with him .
Anyone know of any codes I should be looking out for on bank statements that indicate dodgy websites ? I know he had been on an affairs web site , just want to check for others while I’m on .

Most adult sites will not be named so like in adult work their site would come up as AW Affiliates world services...so you need to be looking for anything that you wouldnt recognise out of the normal range of places you use your cards for ...Or various paypal things ... If you know he is messing around though on these sites I question why you would need further proof? If you already know does it really matter how much and where and when? Presummably the fact that he has made you feel like you need to check would be enough without going into anymore detail..These companies are so discreet they have to be so just look for fancy titles for anything it will stand out ..anything with media attatched too is usually a clue!

I know it’s just so I know how long it’s been going on for as he is minimising .

Also while he is feeling guilty , I want him to make sure I have I no complications on getting re embursement for all the things I have paid for eg family holiday , etc

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe
Sorry I didn’t say Thank you ,

Oh I see! Should be pretty easy to spot then...has he been just daft or could this be the end of your relationship? If there is a chance you can mend this situation then couldnt you just trust him to tell you the truth? I once had a friend in a similar situation who s partner had signed up for a site ..he never did use it though but he had to create an account and it was free. for 30 days so he had a nosy..thing is he forgot to cancel thiking he hadnt used it totally forgot and was then billed every month for 30 odd quid ..these sites are so clever and he was so dumb for not checking his statements and had a hell of a job when it was all brought to light trying to cancel his membership ...some men are just daft!!!

any recurring direct debits are a clue too!

Any bloke with an ounce of sense will have a prepaid credit card, take cash out of the bank and load the card up. No statements, no credit record, untraceable.

Don’t be reassured by nothing on a bank statement

He is an absolute daft amateur . I mean I’m rubbish on computers and phones
But I got into his phone , his work lap top , his secret email account , his what’s app .

Having googled this it ways various messages will be displayed on accounts
There are accounts that come up

I’ve gone through his wallet and there isn’t any strange cards and no receipts for anything that would give it away , on his bag car or any possessions

I suppose I’m just getting my own back on watching him struggle with the truth as he doesn’t know that I know the full extent

@GoldenTickett
I’ll remember that one for the future when I move on !

Ok. Well my advice would be to look for apps on this phone which aren’t what they actually seem. For example I have a calculator app. It works as a calculator. Until you put a certain sum in and it opens a folder which I can store messages, notes, photos in etc. You’d never know it was anything but a calculator. (I’m not having an affair btw). And even if you did know and asked me to put the sum in to get it open, there is a dummy sum you can put in to open the folder. Which actually takes you to a different folder which contains nothing.

But he doesn’t sound anywhere near that kind of intelligence if he’s booking stuff on his bank card.

I’d look at his screen time, most used apps etc. Very telling if he spends 2 hrs a day looking at an innocuous calculator app. Look in his notes. Look at recently deleted. Open notes and press paste (see what the last thing he copied and pasted was). Encrypted files on his laptop, history obviously, open private browsing and hope he was stupid enough not to close his last webpage down.

Alternatively, just leave. You know he’s cheating, they don’t and won’t change, cut your losses and run Queen.

Wow I am learning real fast here ! I’m of a generation where you just stalked and found out , you rummaged through pockets /wallets and listened in on calls .
This is a whole other league or will fill deceit

That sounds like an amazing app Goldentickett - what is it called?

Bloody Hell @GoldenTickett If I had to work that hard to find out if my OH was cheating I would, as you suggest, just cut my losses.

On way to meet up with him
Now - will post later

Is this part of another thread?

Brainengaged1

What a conversation . He admitted everything to meeting up and getting oral sex of ow ( am I even Writing this ?)

We have not decided anything except that we do not make any decisions apart from not telling DS about it ( about to do GCSE) and that we put a hold on doing the house .
We will talk again in a few days . However I still feel it’s me leading all the conversation as he has just clammed you ( very embarrassed) I’ll give him a few more days to open up and then approach conversation again.
We are not fighting or shouting and can still eat at the same table . I am still so let down by him and so disappointed in his behaviour

I think our ds knows something is up as he encouraged us to spend time with each other . So sad .

The next conversation will be about how we proceed as a couple . I still want him to be happy and don’t want him to feel trapped . I need to set him free . He will soon realise that he will get so much less from someone else than me and actually I feel like
Now looking at other men

OP why have you got two different threads with different titles up about the same situation - your last post is a copy and paste of your response on the other thread.

I’m rubbish at this techie stuff .sorry if it’s caused an issue for you .

It's not an issue - but it might be more helpful for you if you have all the responses in one place, and not everyone will read both threads.

I hope you can find a solution to your situation.