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Karma paid back years of inner smugness

118 replies

Grumpelstilskin · 05/03/2020 22:41

Ok, so I might not be the most consistent or particularly good parent but I always prided myself on my well-behaved hounds. I watched other people with their puppies and adult dogs acting up and internally tssked and congratulated myself on my amazingly obedient doggos. I conveniently pushed aside the fact that Greyhounds generally are calmer and more laidback and usually not a very challenging breed. My family and I have rescued and raised a few Greyhounds from just a few weeks old and I never understood all the cries of how exhausting and destructive puppies can be. My judgy pants were pretty high-waisted.

A few months ago, I agreed to take in another 11-week-old Greyhound puppy. The rescue organisation casually mentioned that this one was a ‘very lively one’ and a little bit mischievous. This got to be the understatement of the century! Basically, they handed us Satan’s Little Helper! She’s already worked out how to push chairs close to where she wants to climb up and steal stuff I placed out of reach. I am missing a great part of my underwear and socks. I only need to turn a nanosecond and my shoes are gone. That brain of hers is ticking non-stop, constantly plotting more mischief. But worse, she’s managed to egg on and encourage my adult greyhounds to join in and now they’ve all turned into wayward born-again teenage rebels. I keep waking up to a mad kiss chase throughout the entire house, led by the demon pupster, often right across the bed with me still in it. They all seem to goad each other to steal anything that isn’t nailed down and started to work as a team with one distracting us, while the others will pinch food. DH and DC find it hysterical. I try not to laugh myself, as it often is quite funny but it undermines any attempt of discipline. The place has turned into a madhouse. Earlier today, I’d dressed them all in their macs, as they aren’t keen on the rain. I got soaked and they mooched about and wanted to get back home pretty sharpish. Then I dried them all off on our return. Moments later, as I had the back door open for a split second, they had all jumped into the pond and were splashing around and then 'investigated' our compost heap and did some gardening. I shouted at them that Battersea Dog's Home wasn’t all that far but they did not take me seriously. Now they all want to sit on top of me. I will never be that smug again! Grin

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dottiedodah · 06/03/2020 08:01

Sounds fun but exhausting. My old Dal was a terror! (once destroyed a double duvet ) First dog super Springer .beautifully behaved (rescue so not down to me !) smug as a bug in a rug (Me)! They all look gorgeous .Lovely story to cheer us all up ,(and get away from news of THAT virus!)sending hugs from me xx

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/03/2020 08:04

Hahahaha!

You are like those people who have really well-behaved children, and attribute it to their superior parenting abilities - and then have another one who is an uncontrollable (though lovely!) little rip who will NOT do what they are told and are into everything!

Welcome to the world of us ordinary mortals!

Grin
Windyatthebeach · 06/03/2020 08:04

Op you need this.
Imagine those long legs dangling about!!
Grin

Karma paid back years of inner smugness
TraumaQ · 06/03/2020 08:05

I love this!

BlimeyCalmDown · 06/03/2020 08:31

Maybe you could vlog them! I'd follow!

sashh · 06/03/2020 08:42

OP

Write a diary of life with SLH, it will sell better than Bridget Jones.

Thinkingabout1t · 06/03/2020 08:59

They sound loveable, and so do you for looking after them and taking them to PAT. Loads more goodkarma on its way to you, I’m sure!

Toria70 · 06/03/2020 09:08

We've got a 14 month old sprocker, and our 6 year old cocker is still looking at me with a tilted head as if to say "really? you brought this home??". She's the devil in disguise. Every morning, they're let out of the kitchen and race upstairs at 90mph to jump on the bed. DH is still shocked by it every bloody morning and starts shouting "steady steady" which just winds them up even more. Food time = zoomies around the house. Bath time = zoomies around the house. People coming home = zoomies around the house.

She's had £100s worth of shoes, socks, underwear, and the skirting boards and kick boards in the kitchen have all been fair game to chew. I buy her toys and they're exploding within 15 minutes. Yet she's the most adorable thing imaginable. I can't tell her off because she stares at me with those brown eyes and I'm mush.

Never a dull moment Grin

MrsBobDylan · 06/03/2020 09:36

I used to walk my dogs and bump into a lovely woman who had two rescue greyhounds - her eyes used to widen in shock when she saw how mine behaved. I have pugs who are friendly but a bit dim and not very easy to train, or we are a bit shit at it, probs the latter...

Satan's little helper is so adorable he is allowed to be naughty. It's the natural way of things!

Zaphodsotherhead · 06/03/2020 09:38

I feel for your karmic revenge. I had a big crossbreed (half border collie, we don't know what the other half was as his mother wouldn't tell) who basically trained himself to gold standard obedience. He would even avert his eyes from things he wasn't allowed to touch. Then got a cross breed terrier who, after her first Idiot Months was similarly well behaved if a little more self-opinionated. Calm, easy to handle, obedient...

Clearly my superior training and dog-care methods I thought.

Then I got my Patterdale.

Just....don't...go...there...

GameSetMatch · 06/03/2020 09:40

What a lovely posts to read! 😊

Hoppinggreen · 06/03/2020 09:41

When we were planning to get Ddog a neighbour got a pup of the same breed, she was absolutely lovely but very calm and gentle. We got Hopping pup 6 months later ( accidentally from a puppy farm) and he was a terror! We managed ok apart from the neighbour with her “x doesn’t do that, x is so well behaved “ and the particularly galling bit “probably because she’s so well bred from Guide dog stock”
Her dog was so well behaved she decided to get another one - his name should have been Karma!! He’s an absolute bugger.
Plus ours has grown up a bit now and is pretty good so she can’t even comment on his bad behaviour anymore
The very sad Karmic bit though is that her dog no 2s Papers and breeding turned out to be a bit dodgy and he has some serious health issues - I can’t be glad about it as he’s a lovely (if very naughty) dog but she no longer goes on about hers being “well bred”

MimiLaRue · 06/03/2020 09:44

OMG- what an adorable little baby! I dont believe for one second that angel could be responsible for anything naughty- sorry OP

Seriously-what a gorgeous girl - hang in there OP

Grumpelstilskin · 06/03/2020 11:44

Just now on my late coffee break and chuckling about your stories and burst out laughing about the suggestion of a puppy papoose. DH and I are lucky to have our workshop and studio, joined up to our living space, so save quite a bit of time not having to commute and work for ourselves, which is why we have time to take the adult hounds as therapy pets a couple of times a week. A couple of years ago, I built my own design studio. After a while, DH softened me up, telling me he missed me and he moved his desk into the opposite corner. Then the hounds all kept wandering in looking really sad. Eventually, I relented and got two huge dog beds. Just to add, there are dog beds all over the house. This was my she-cave. Then daily squabbles ensued over who would nab the coveted prime spaces. Eventually, I gave up and ordered 3 more big dog beds. I now have a narrow little path to get to my drawing board and desk.

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Kalifa · 06/03/2020 11:49

Naughty pups! Love them!

JellyfishandShells · 06/03/2020 12:04

Beautifully written, OP !

Grumpelstilskin · 06/03/2020 12:12

Right now, it is a picture of domestic bliss with softly snoring hounds and Satan’s Little Helper looking positively angelic in her sleep. She’s tired herself out spending the entire morning shredding a very big stack of newspapers and artistically draping it all over her older canine siblings who slept through it all and are still laying there covered in layers of little paper snowflakes, as nothing gets in the way of their daily twenty hour plus power nap. I am actually not too bothered with my living tabloid carpet, as I was planning to use the old newspaper for some papermache project anyway, so will just sweep it up later and am secretly quite impressed with her fine shredding setting.

DH did try to regain some position of authority yesterday at diner by gathering both DC and all DDogs and held a rallying speech about how there needed to be some more order and discipline in this house. Everyone seemed impressed by his rousing lecture, including SLH who cocked her head and listened intently. Far be it for me to doubt DH’s impressive (dog) parenting skills but I did point out that some while later it was suspiciously, in fact, eerily quiet. DH dismissed my concerns, still riding high on his triumphant address of the troops. Currently waiting for Amazon Prime to deliver a new Kingsize duvet Grin

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LapsedVeganAcademic · 06/03/2020 12:25

Fab thread. Reminds me of a friend of my who was unbearably smug about her perfectly-behaved DCs. Her lone-parent sister was unexpectedly taken ill and Friend (to her credit, really) stepped in at no notice to care for her nieces. Said nieces taught their cousins all about rude words and junk food and trashy YouTube channels.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 06/03/2020 12:37

Thank you. I've had a horrible few days (bereavement of a good friend) and this made me laugh until I cried.

Grumpelstilskin · 06/03/2020 12:40

Hahahaha, I am under no illusion about my DC. But I am really proud of their passion for animal rescue and how much they help with looking after our dogs. To be fair, our greyhounds don’t really require much grooming but both DC regularly use soft brushes and mittens to gently brush out their fur and am fairly certain the hounds appreciate DD’s and her friends’ mobile beauty salon and manicures, which they tend to mostly sleep through. I am sure especially my oldest Greyhound loves his sparkling glitter nails. This morning, DD told me that one of the Greyhound rescues had a pair of bonded Greyhounds, brother and sister, on their website who were desperate for a loving home together. I explained to her that we really had more than enough hounds already and in fact, reached critical mass in terms of canine per square metre. DD then suggested that if we farmed out DS there was always his bedroom. Not sure if I ought to be appalled or feel secretly impressed. Grin

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Grumpelstilskin · 06/03/2020 12:45

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Aaaw, I am so sorry about your friend. My hounds got me through bereavement. I am glad that they make people smile everywhere we go. They do make a beeline for anyone who is very low and I've had a few occasions when someone stood there, cuddling them while crying and smiling, then walking on in a visibly lighter mood. There is something about them that can't help but put you in a good mood.

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Windyatthebeach · 06/03/2020 13:40

We had our oldest ddog pts last week. Dpuppy is a very welcome distraction . They had 3 weeks together - hoping a little something positive rubbed off!
Only got 1 photo of them together - going to have it printed and framed...

Karma paid back years of inner smugness
Grumpelstilskin · 06/03/2020 13:55

@Windyatthebeach What a beautiful photo to treasure. Sorry, you lost your DDog. Hope Dpuppy can help you a bit with your loss.

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Songofsixpence · 06/03/2020 14:15

😂 I feel your pain.

Our old Springer was an angel. He was a bit on the randy side until he had his knackers off and a penchant for rolling in dead wildlife, but he was a love. Even as a puppy he didn’t destroy anything, easy to train, toilet trained like a dream, didn’t pull on a lead, perfect recall from the get go and all round good boy.

When we lost him we decided we loved the breed so much we’d get another. Everyone told us we were mad, Springers were bonkers, but we’d already had one, how hard can it be?

OH MY GOD!

Toilet roll and pants obsessed - apologies to all the locals who think the loo roll shortage is down to corona virus panic buying, I think it’s actually me buying up all the bog roll to replace the shredded ones in our house.

Pulls like a train and will not come back if you let her off her lead

Pisses on my favourite rug at every opportunity

Empties bins, chews shoes, hassles the cat and just doesn’t learn the hissy, scratchy, bitey thing is not to be messed with.

As soon as my backside hits the couch her mischief alarm goes off

Training is hard work this time and it takes her ages to learn stuff

DH takes her to work and says she’s an angel with his customers. Greets them by throwing herself down at their feet and showing them her tummy. Gets them every time - she’s great PR Grin

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/03/2020 14:15

What a lovely photo Windy. I'm so sorry about your lovely dog. (I luffs a dog with ginger eyebrows).

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