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Original poster

Does anyone else regularly put their DC in childcare on a day they are not working?

105 replies

Hollythemolly · 04/03/2020 21:39

I’m in the fortunate position of being able to put my 2 year old into nursery on my day off, for some of the day.

I work 4 days. DC spends 2 days with my mum, 2 days at nursery.

Sometimes on my day off, I put DC in nursery for a half day or a “school day” (ie short day) to enable myself to get chores done or exercise. And also I admit I find a full day 6am-7pm with a toddler stressful Blush

Then I spend the rest of the day doing something fun with DC.
Some weeks we do a day trip so DC is with me all day.

I feel so guilty, even though DC loves nursery and the most DC is ever at nursery is 3 days per week.

I was wondering if anyone else does this, or if you would it if were an option? (Realise childcare expensive so this is not an option for many, and realise I am fortunate to have the choice)

OP posts:
DesLynamsMoustache · 05/03/2020 09:49

I don't know. I don't think it's unreasonable as such as it's your life so not really for anyone else to say one way or the other. At weekends is it just you and DC? Or is Dad on the scene?

I admit I'm probably feeling more weird about this than usual as I am feeling guilty for arranging for DD to go to nursery one day a week so I can get some work done during the day (which I know is irrational, but hey, mum guilt) and I know I'm going to miss her like crazy, so the thought of putting her in more than I 'have' to is an alien one at the moment. I wouldn't choose for her to spend five days away from me when it could only be four, personally. But I don't think it's necessarily unreasonable to do so if it suits you.

I do agree that they are small for so little time and this is the time before school etc. where you can spend that time with them when you have it. Exercise and chores will always be there!

missyoumuch · 05/03/2020 09:50

OP you would never be asking yourself this if your child was 4 years old attending reception. Lots of parents don't work at all or work part-time and enjoy a weekday to do chores/errands/exercise/etc while DCs are at school.

DesLynamsMoustache · 05/03/2020 09:51

Oh sorry I just saw that your husband is around. Yeah, I think that would make me less inclined, really, as it would be one day I could spend quality time with my DC just us two and also at the weekend I would have another pair of hands helping so the childcare aspect is less onerous.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Childcare & nursery Families
PrincessHoneysuckle · 05/03/2020 09:56

When I was a sahm I used to put ds in nursery 5 mornings a week.I used to tell myself it was for his benefit but it was probably for mine tbh.He did enjoy it though and it set him up for the routine of getting up and going to school

stophuggingme · 05/03/2020 10:00

Yes
I have three Children under six and am a single parent
I need a day a week where it is just me in the house tackling the piles of shit I’m everywhere, do admin, run all the errands I can never do. If I didn’t have this I would go insane.

They all love being at school or nursery anyway and I like at home they behave and eat the food that is prepared for them so win win I say!Grin

MushroomTree · 05/03/2020 10:26

Wow there are some judgemental people on this thread.

I've never understood the whole "You've had a child, why wouldn't you want to spend every waking minute with them" argument. Smacks a bit of martyrdom really.

My child loves nursery. My day at home when she's at nursery gives me the chance to do things like go to the doctor or dentist or run errands. I'd hardly call having to drag her along to any of those things "quality time".

How about we all just accept that people do things differently and let them get on with it?

Damntheman · 05/03/2020 10:46

Hell yes I do! It's the only way to effeciently get a lot of stuff done. If my child is at nursery I can work out early (always better), clean the house, do shopping chores I've been putting off for months and then pick her up again feeling refreshed and accomplished so we can have very positive time together after instead of me trying to drag a 3 year old around on all things things and neither of us being happy. It's for the benefit of all.

Throughthegate · 05/03/2020 11:00

I lot of people saying they'd do it mention working three days a week (or having three dc, or being a single parent, or studying) but none of these are the OP's scenario - she has one day a week only to spend alone with the dd and isn't doing it - but is this every week? I think she might regret it if so. If it's once every three weeks - crack on.
I don't think children always want quality time in a perfect house. They just want to knock around at home with mum (or dad) and do what they want. Five days away from home a week is a lot, at two.

Camomila · 05/03/2020 11:02

When I had hyperemesis I kept DS in nursery 3 long days a week as I was too ill to look after him myself.
Now I'm on maternity leave he still goes to nursery 3 days a week but he does the 'short days' and I pick him up before tea.
He's starting reception in September so I think it's better for him to stay in a group environment at least some of the time.

Poetryinaction · 05/03/2020 11:03

I agree. Nothing wrong with seeing a bit of real life and doing chores with your mum or dad. My kids love their days not at nursery. Whether we swim, go to the park, the shops, whatever. We just like each others' company.

DreamingofSunshine · 05/03/2020 12:40

DS goes to preschool 9-3 three days and 9-1 two days. I'm a SAHM with two serious chronic illnesses, and I'm 100% sure he has more fun at nursery than sitting in the hospital waiting room with me, and it allows me to do my physiotherapy.

missyoumuch · 05/03/2020 12:45

Amazed at all of these 2 and 3 year olds who love to help mummy wash dishes Hmm I love my DCs also but there are times when I can’t get things done with them underfoot.

Anyway I work 5 days a week so having a day off while DCs are in school or nursery sounds like a dream. I’d be at the gym one week, hair salon the next Grin

Nonnymum · 05/03/2020 12:49

I didn't because they grow up and change so quickly I wanted to spend as much time as I could with them when I could. But that's me we are not all the same. I just think parents should support each other and their decisions.

Throughthegate · 05/03/2020 12:51

I'm amazed at all the two and three year olds who are happy to say goodbye to their mum five days a week and cheerfully go off to childcare without a tear. That would have made my life a lot easier!

reluctantbrit · 05/03/2020 13:00

DD was always 4 days at nursery and I worked 3 days. The fourth day was for my sanity and highly recommended by my councellor when I battled PND.

I did chores, shopping but also down time, the first couple of months I slept and read and didn't do anything productive. This meant DD had my full attention on the 5th day and we had the weekend free to do things with her instead of catching up.

I only stopped when DD was in school and I had the school hours for myself.

Summergarden · 05/03/2020 13:06

No I wouldn’t if the little one was already in daycare four full days a week.

I’d rather pay a cleaner to clean the house so I could have the time to spend with my little one. They’re not little for long.

ChristmasCarcass · 05/03/2020 13:08

Throughthegate it depends on the nursery - DS has been in a few ad we have moved around a bit and he absolutely loves his current one, and genuinely does run in without a backwards glance. Didn’t in his previous ones, even though they were perfectly nice.

OP, I work compressed hours (three long days), and plan to continue that when DS starts school as it gives me more time to get stuff done without children underfoot (DH feels that him doing childcare on the evenings when I am working means all other childcare is my responsibility, so i never get any uninterrupted time to myself). So I’m principle, no issue with what you are doing.

I do think that it is a bit unreasonable to ask your mother to do two days of unpaid childcare so that you can have a day off, though. What does she think?

Gruffalosandbuffalos · 05/03/2020 13:09

I don’t as I like to have the time with them, but I don’t judge anyone that does!

MushroomTree · 05/03/2020 14:09

@Throughthegate my DD has been going to nursery since she was 11 months and I've never had a single tear. She's massively independent and loves nursery.

@reluctantbrit that's the reason DD does 3 days even though I work 2. It just about keeps me sane and stops the PND and PTSD taking over totally.

Throughthegate · 05/03/2020 15:12

That makes it a lot easier, I'm jealous.
My dc would go in ok when their dad drops off, but both of them cried when I do it.
Thankfully they go to school without tears now Smile

Cornettoninja · 05/03/2020 16:11

I work three days and had dd with me on the other two till she started her free hours with preschool. She does two and half days which fall over my days off. I really wanted her to get used to the structure of a school day (including lunch times) before starting school properly and her CM couldn’t do afternoon pick ups.

I don’t see me changing my hours anytime soon. It gives me the flexibility to make up hours if she’s sick and means dp doesn’t have to take full weeks off to cover school holidays when they kick in.

Frankly she gets bored after too much time with just me and I don’t have endless pots of money for entertainment. Plus actually I think I’m owed some perks - these first few years have been relentless!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 05/03/2020 16:18

I work term times and still put school age DC's into a couple of days of holiday club. I'm able to do jobs around the house and have some time off just for me. I'm a much nicer mum for it. We don't have local family so DCs are always with me or DH or we are at work/school.

When I was working full-time, I used to book a day of annual leave and still drop DD at the childminders for 8am and collect at 5:30pm.

MushroomTree · 05/03/2020 17:41

@Throughthegate in all honesty I have a harder time getting her to come home. She's an only child and thrives on activity and interaction so I imagine she finds it quite slow and lonely being at home with mummy.

LeSquigh · 05/03/2020 17:52

I don’t need childcare because one of us is always at home due to shift work but my toddler goes to nursery 3 days a week. Mostly to socialise her and she loves it. I love that she goes too 🤣

Pogmella · 05/03/2020 18:40

Yeah I find the full day a drag for both of us, putting her in pre school for 3hrs meant I could do chores/prep stuff and then properly enjoy my afternoon with her. As she got older she requested to stay longer and have a packed lunch. Single parent working 0.9hrs over 4 days.

Everyone’s different and so are their children. If your child is happier having fun with their friends for a big before 1:1 time with you that’s fine.