Does anyone else regularly put their DC in childcare on a day they are not working?

[Hollythemolly]

I’m in the fortunate position of being able to put my 2 year old into nursery on my day off, for some of the day.

I work 4 days. DC spends 2 days with my mum, 2 days at nursery.

Sometimes on my day off, I put DC in nursery for a half day or a “school day” (ie short day) to enable myself to get chores done or exercise. And also I admit I find a full day 6am-7pm with a toddler stressful

Then I spend the rest of the day doing something fun with DC.
Some weeks we do a day trip so DC is with me all day.

I feel so guilty, even though DC loves nursery and the most DC is ever at nursery is 3 days per week.

I was wondering if anyone else does this, or if you would it if were an option? (Realise childcare expensive so this is not an option for many, and realise I am fortunate to have the choice)

Don't feel guilty. You say you plan something nice to do with your child for part of the day and this is much better than having them for the entire day and being stressed out and it not being great for either of you.

It's a good idea of it works for you
Of course with no guilt
I have used this time to do groceries it made for a better shop with me able to get around without the nonsense however age appropriate it all is sometimes we need peace and quiet. I am surprised how unnoticed I am going solo

Well "us" SAHMs do this everyday we send our kids to preschool or nursery It's for them to learn to be with others and have different experiences. It's hard for me to judge you, as I loved being able to clean the house child free. I now have DC2 so that's impossible, but it was lovely whilst it lasted. DC1 started going age 2, just a couple of mornings to give me a break .I only felt guilty when I did non house stuff like went clothes shopping once.

Yes. Do it without guilt.

I'll be sending my toddler to nursery when the baby arrives. No change to the toddler's days or hours.
There's plenty of love and care (and time) at home! Plus she loves it!
Don't feel guilty

I do exercise as well as house stuff. But surely that benefits my child, to have a fit & healthy mum?!

So, you've gone part time with all the impact that has on your career and pension, so that you can do housework and have more family time at the weekend (once your dh finishes his sport)?

I don’t think it’s a big deal. DC won’t remember it, obviously won’t be harmed by it.

It’s just that with hindsight, those toddler years seem really short. Once the school shindig starts it’s impossible taking a child anywhere mid week or at the weekends and really enjoying it - everybody else is there with their children! Looking back, it seems really decadent just hanging out on a weekday, doing whatever you want, going slow.

Yes. I always did.
Worked three days a week but used nursery four days a week.

I wouldn’t because I would feel guilty my parents were having my child for 2 days a week and I didn’t spend 1 with them. On saying this, I do know lots of people that would do the same so I’m accepting that I might be the unusual one.

@throughthegate not quite, because I do spend part of my day off doing something nice with my child & I exercise too which I enjoy . I don’t take a day off each week to do housework no

I do exercise as well as house stuff. But surely that benefits my child, to have a fit & healthy mum?!
Well yes but you could go to the gym on an evening your dh is home or stick a you tube video on.
Surely the point of working fours days not five is to spend time with your child. Don’t you miss her?

And I have no issue with DH doing one morning sport per week, I’m fully supportive of that

Yes. I work intensively for a few weeks then have some time between contracts but they go the same hours every day. They do really well with having the same routine. I use the time to get chores done because I can’t during the intensive work period.
They love their nursery so it wouldn’t occur to me to feel guilty.

Yup. Work 3 days, one day per week they go to nursery and I get stuff done, go to appointments, or sleep! They love it there and that one day a week helps me massively as they are naturally very full on (aged 1 and 2).

Fifth day (plus weekends) we spend together doing fun stuff or just chilling out at home/ going to groups etc

It works for us. I occasionally feel a bit guilty that they don’t ‘need’ to be there on that day, but it really benefits my mental health to have a day to myself even if I don’t do very much, and i also think it’s good for them to be around other kids. Plus the nursery is lovely.

Gosh I think lots of people do this, great social life for your child, fantastic opportunity for you to catch up on jobs or just enjoy some me time.
What’s not to like?
Good on you
😊

I'm still unclear how often you do this.
We all need time to ourselves - I get a day now when children are at school and it's great - but I look back with fondness on those full days and doing stuff with children at the weekend is just not as good. You could get some free time too at the weekend while your dh played with his dd.

Yes, half a day twice a week.

I wouldn’t do this. You already miss out on being with your child and your child misses out on being with you for the days you work. Aren’t you looking forward to spending time with them?

The early years go so fast and your child will soon be at school. It’s a big change not being able to spend weekdays doing fun things or chilling together.

You seem to be trying to justify yourself. Yes, exercise is good but your priority on your day off should be your child not parking them somewhere while you go and exercise. Do that in the evenings or weekends. Do you really not like spending time with your child, just the two of you? Yes, they’re ‘work’ but they’re also a huge source of joy. Is a day alone with them really so unbearable/boring?

I'm a sahm and my dd will be going to a preschool 4 afternoons a week from September when she's 2. For us it's about the opportunity to learn (via the Montessori approach) and also social skills. At the moment she's with me all the time and it's hard to find time to do things like go to the dentist and other appointments. So I think it makes sense to have your dc in nursery for a half day, as it'll be your only chance to get things done. I would have liked dd to do one session in a nursery from a younger age, to give me a bit of time to get things done, but one session isn't ideal as it wouldn't give her enough time to settle in the placement. Since your dc is already at the nursery, she's already settled and would enjoy the routine and social interaction.

Lots of people send their children to school full time in reception before they “need” to go age 5. Do whatever works for you and don’t feel guilty about it.

Crikey, yes! I worked 3 days a Week, DD went to nursery 4 days so I could get the housework done then I had 3 days to do nothing but play with her. Lifesaver.

No way. You said it OP. Childcare is expensive. And my days with the kids keep me sane. If I worked 4 days a week I would cherish that day with my toddler.

Im probaby worse, my DC is at school, I take A/L in the holidays and send her to holiday club sometimes.

Its £25 from 08.00-18.00.

She goes at around 09.00-17.00, I am a single parent with no family or ex partner to help, so I tell myself its fine.

DD goes to the beach with holiday club and I get to go to the dentist

I didn’t as firstly, I felt guilty and secondly, my dcs were really chilled out and would watch tv or a Disney film happily while I got on with chores.
I might have done it differently if dcs had a different temperament.
Do what you have to do