My husband is in hospital facing a liver cirrhosis diagnosis. Im alone and terrified.

[Loopylou6]

Has anyone been through this? So terrified of my phone ringing to say he's died

It says it's reversible in the early stages, so his doctor can go through that with you

Sadly, if he's 'got away with it' by 'only' having fatty liver, he might come out and start drinking again.

Harsh though it might sound, you need to protect yourself from the shock of this happening by thinking it in advance. It's what most alcoholics do.

I’m so sorry (((hugs))))
I really think you need to get some support for yourself- al anon is a great resource for loved ones of those suffering from alcoholism. Reach out to them- they’re very kind.

Yeah, the hard work starts when he's out of hospital.

I know someone who drinks one or two bottles of spirits a day, gets admitted to hospital for librium (and drips I think?) then comes out and repeats the whole process.

It's like a revolving door. I sometimes marvel he's still alive as he's in his 60s. Think the medical staff are fed up of him though, all the paramedics know him by name

Hi OP

I'm so sorry you and DH are going through this. I'm an alcoholic and had I'm afraid multiple admissions for this.

PP @Nat6999 is correct in the process he is going through and I'm also so said to hear your DP died.

It very, very nearly killed me. I have cirrhosis. I had 5 hospital detoxes and continued to drink. It sounds mental written down because it's a terrible illness.

I am still alive. And sober and that's the only reason I'm alive.

I hope I can help with both the medical and mental side of things. I'm here to answer any questions at all.

I have been there. And by some miracle I'm still here and I'll do anything I can to help.

Like a PP said, the first time in I was told I "just" had fatty liver.

Cue, "I've got away with it, I continue to drink" mentality.

After the second time I was told I had cirrhosis and that it was irreversible. Cue, "I might as well drink myself to death" mentality.

That's how an alcoholic.'s mind works.

It's the disease that tells you you don't have it.

Hand hold and practical advise if you need it.

Yes it is a terrible disease and gets hold of the sufferer by the neck. It's like a demon, bent on destruction.

Do go to al-anon op. Read the AA big book, you'll recognise it all.

It's highly likely he'll come out and drink again 😢

It's a hellish life being married to an alcoholic. Never ending misery The disease drags everyone down with it.

My partner went from "just" having a fatty liver in July to having full blown cirrhosis in September, he was neglected by the alcohol services as they were moving from NHS funded to a private company & there wasn't any service for 12 weeks, he had gone in August to ask for help but they cancelled his appointment, 2 weeks later he looked pregnant & a week later was diagnosed with cirrhosis. Do you know what his liver score is? My partner's was over 700 when he was diagnosed, it appeared to be reducing & we thought he was improving but were later told it was a sign his liver was failing.

Thank you everyone for your advice, if he does come out and continue to drink, I will be divorcing him, safe in the knowledge that I've done everything I can to get him help.
It's literally just came to light that he's magnesium deficient too.

Shannith, thank you for your absolute honesty, I hope you find peace within your self, I will deffo take you up on your extremely kind offer if I have questions

Nat, I shall find out what his score is tomoz. X

Oh Shannith, I really hope you can recover your health.
The only reason I’m married to such a lovely man now is Because his first wife drank herself to death in two years, dying aged 50

My husband is still traumatised by it 12 years later.
He can’t watch anything on tv that is alcohol related.
I barely drink. Just one very small gin and tonic and I’m gone.

Op I do hope your man survives and regains his health.

Strangely my mum had fatty liver disease..she wasn’t a drinker in her final years and hadn’t been much of a drinker previously..she was always the driver.

Oh @Nat6999 I'm so sad for you. There but for the grace of god.

@Loopylou6 yes he will be magnesium deficient. That's "normal".

Does he have ascites? (Swollen stomach) if so he'll have a drain or multiple drains and strong diaretics.

Depending on how malnourished he is they may tube feed.

He might be in for some time. My longest stay was nearly 3 weeks.

If he carries on drinking he will die. You'd think that would stop him wouldn't you.

The horrible truth about alcoholics and the terribleness of the disease is that... well that's kind of the point. It's the truth we speak in AA meetings and it's something no one who is not an alcoholic can ever really understand. And I am forever grateful that they don't.

It's totally baffling for people who've not been in the grip of it.

As someone else has said I really recommend Al Anon. Everyone there will have gone through exactly what you are going through and you will find nothing but love and support and hopefully you won't feel so alone.

I hate to say it but I live the NHS / the met physically saved my life time and time again, but their alcohol and addiction services are woeful.

AA saved my life. But I had to go to self funded rehab and literally die twice until I got it. If there is any way to get him to go, and keep going to meetings it's really the only hope for people like him and me.

Whatever, Al Anon will help you see you did not cause this and you can't cure it. The pain, anger, helplessness of watching someone destroy themselves is terrible. Unfortunately, or fortunately there are many people who have been where you are and will help you to deal with it.

He'll be very ill for a long time. He'll probably be hallucinating at the moment and very sick and weak.

If you met me know you would not believe that a year ago I was in intensive care with advanced liver disease. And thy at after I got out alive from that, I drank again.

I've been sober 10 months now and am proof that AA can work even in hopeless cases.

I can't know if it will work for him, but it's worth a try, whatever happens to your relationship. And no one would blame you at all for divorcing him, lest of all me.

Drugs he will probably have to take include, diaretics, possibly beta blockers (depending on if he has vaciries - tears in his oesophagus) to keep his blood pressure low to prevent rupture. Strong vitamin B, Thiamine, vit d, iron, painkillers - all sorts. I still take all of these and more.

He'll likely have ultrasounds and and endoscopy to see what damage has been done.

So many people survive this stage only to drink again and then die. Once the liver packs up everything goes downhill fast.

I'm sorry to be so bleak. I'm sorry you are going through this.

And excuse the spelling:randomness.

I may be sober, but my autocorrect has clearly not got the message.

Most alcoholics die of the disease. It's one of the WHO's definitions of a disease - untreated, it's fatal.

The only treatment that worked for me is A.A. I mostly have peace now. Serenity we call it .

One year ago, I could not walk. Looked 9 month pregnant, was severely underweight and my body had pretty much packed up. Today I walk 20 miles a week, foster cats and dogs and have a horse.

I did not want to live anymore. And nothing, and I mean nothing anyone said or did made any difference. It was me and my disease alone.

So cirrhosis is not a death sentence. Untreated alcoholism is. And the bastard thing about alcoholism is that it doesn't want you to get treatment.

Peace to you and DH.

I guess Amy Winehouse went after a few week break then she started again. I think there were respiratory issues with her as well?

@Shannith gosh 3 weeks? I would ask if you were bored but you were probably too sick at first to notice your surroundings. What caused the hospital admissions, collapse?

Really well done for escaping and choosing a better way of life. You must be really helpful to OP and it's always good to listen and learn.

I was worried about my brother drinking 5 cans a day. Apparently he didn't drink today.

If he comes through this, he won't ever touch alcohol again in his life

He probably will, they usually do. My Mum was bright yellow and bloated sitting in a hospital bed on death’s door swearing she’d give up the drink if she was given one more chance. She got that chance but she was dead less than a month later from cirrhosis of the liver after yet another binge.

My only regret? Trying so hard for years to save her. I should have walked away.

My goodness, I'm so overwhelmed with all your stories, I'm eternally grateful to you for sharing such painful times to help me. I'm so sorry for those of you who have lost. I can only hope my husband is a rare one who helps himself.

My friend's husband is an alcoholic who 19 years ago was found in a pool of blood unconscious, his parents fought to get him sectioned, he spent 6 months in hospital & hasn't had a drink since. His first marriage ended due to his drinking, he got clean & met my friend, they have 2 lovely children age 12 & 3, he is an alcohol counsellor now, drink doesn't bother him, my friend has the occasional drink, he even goes to the shop to fetch her an odd bottle of wine, it doesn't bother him. If you can get your husband to accept help, even if it means having him sectioned, there is life on the other side, but he has to want it, not you, only he can stop drinking & sort himself out, alcoholics are very selfish people, they blame everyone else for their drinking, not themselves.

Hi op. Hope you managed to get some sleep last night.

Any news from the hospital? Are they letting you visit?

Thinking of you x

Hiya, there was talk of him coming home today, but his potassium levels are too low, so maybe home tomoz or next day. I feel really mean, because even tho I'm disappointed, in a way, I'm more relieved that he's not coming home today, how horrible am I?

Oh and yes, I'll be visiting later

It's not surprising you feel that way, it's been a terrible shock and worry. I guess it feels like you're losing your downtime.

He's out pretty quick, isn't he? Hope it goes well seeing him at the hospital today

You're not horrible!

Life with an alcoholic is hell on earth, you will obviously relish an extra day's break.

Enjoy yourself, have a lovely time before he comes back

OP it's entirely reasonable to feel like that.

They won't let him out with low potassium - it's actually very dangerous (who knew, well me obviously after having had the same). Potassium drips are at least 8 hours.

He probably will swear off booze forever. We all do. Until we feel better then...

Unbelievable as it is this may not be the big shock/final straw it is to you to him.

If you are based anywhere near me I'd take him to an A.A. meeting myself. If he's going to get help now is the time.

My heart breaks for you because I put people I love through this over and over again.

If you want to tell me where you are PM me and I'll see if I can help.

I’ve been through this with my brother. It’s absolutely heart breaking. He spent almost a month in hospital and I can’t begin to explain how traumatic it was. The doctors were convinced he would die but he didn’t. He got well enough to come home (but not work or have much of a life and he’s under the age of 40). He stayed off the drink for about 3 years but he’s back on it now and I think he will be dead in months. It is the most selfish ‘disease’ I’ve ever come across.

Thank you all for your continued support, it really means alot, only my mum and dad know in RL, so it does get lonely.
Just got back from seeing him, he's looking the best I've seen him in a very long time, thanks to you lot, I'm protecting myself and reminding myself that this may not be over.
@Shannith I'll PM you now, phones on 8% so I'll leave it on charge for a bit

Sorry you're going through this too dripping x