Job making me psychologically unwell. Don't know what to do.

[Beebityboo]

At the end of last year I finally got a job (working in care) after being at home for many years with the children. I was really happy the first two weeks but things have rapidly gone down hill.

I'm constantly physically and emotionally abused by the people I look after and the majority of the staff are bullying, unkind and seem to hate their jobs and each other.

The management don't support us enough and unless they want something from the kitchen, we never see them.

I really want to become a mental health nurse in the future and need this job for experience and (hopefully, if she'll provide one) a Ucas reference from my boss. We also really need the money.

It's getting to the point though that I'm becoming quite mentally unwell. I miss being a Sahm (youngest is only 5) and I miss being on top of things at home. I've already seen two dead bodies, multiple terrifying situations and so much sadness. I feel a bit traumatised by it all. I wasn't supported enough at all or trained adequately. I'm having frequent panic attacks.

If I quit now it wouldn't even be worth putting it on my already empty CV and I could forget a reference as I'm not even out of my probation period.

I just don't know what to do. I'm just dreading going back tomorrow and feel so trapped and unhappy.

I'm also terrified I will catch Coronavirus at work and spread it to my very unwell DD (I know this last point comes across as hysterical, but I'm feeling a bit that way).

Any support would be appreciated. I don't want to let DH down by telling him how much I'm really struggling .

Tbh op you will come across many many distressing and stressful things should you eventually get into nursing, and many dead bodies, so I'd perhaps start to rethink this as a career option if you feel it's not something you would cope well with. I think you've answered your own question really in your post, this job isn't worth it, quit and put yours and your families well being first.

Look at Healthcare assistant positions in your local NHS. The support is, generally, better than in independent locations. Plus, many hospital trusts are taking their own HCAs through nursing training via the apprenticeship to degree route. Also once you’re in it’s pretty easy to transfer roles or pick up bank shifts on different wards so you can really try out all areas before deciding which area you want to specialise in for nursing.

Care work can be shit. I once raised a minor issue to flag risk for other workers when I was working as a part time care worker and they simply never used me again. But there is lots of it - why not try another setting or agency. My bil is really enjoying care work. Or apply to be a NHS care assistant (physical or mental health) then you can decide what route you want to take. Good luck.

I agree you should try and get an NHS job as the training is mandatory and any extra training you feel you need can be raised in supervision/ appraisal . A band 2 post would not expect you to have an nvq and once you feel more confident you can look into apprenticeships. Your current care work will look good and if they ask at interview why you want to change jobs, just be honest about your lack of support and training but your passion for caring etc. x

I manage a nursing home and my advice would be that if you enjoy caring for older people look for another care home. From what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like management really know what’s going on or are choosing to ignore it. Have you started the care certificate? As someone new to care , management are required to support you to obtain it.

Well that sounds really really tough. No wonder you’re feeling traumatised. I’m training to be a counsellor and don’t have prior experience of working in Mental Health services. I have done a bit of volunteer work for a mental health charity, but admin, not working directly with service users. I too changed careers after having a child, and I was really eager to get going. My counselling trainer once said to me, “why the rush?” It’s a slow burner of a career and if you need to stop and think for a bit, and recover and reflect on your options, that’s ok. It won’t disappear out of reach while your work things out. Also, you could look into the possibility of taking a route to counselling training through the CPCAB- I don’t think you need a degree but you can check eligibility, see how long it would take, if there are local training courses, eg FE colleges or a peripatetic counselling teaching organisation like CPTA. There’s another awarding body that I can’t remember the name of, too, and some places like Relate do their own training, I hear. Take care and good luck with the new career steps!

I work in the care sector now, after a career in a completely different field, but I'm employed directly as a personal assistant by individual clients in their own homes. Their care needs are assessed and funded by the council, and I found work through a charity-supported website. panoticeboard.org.uk/

You might find this works better for you, too? Your local authority should be able to point you in the right direction. The charity also deals with contracts & payroll.

I had similar reservations about working in a care home but this works for me because I have more control over who I work for, and I really feel I make a small difference to their lives.

Greenleaf, I was sectioned ten years ago, very briefly. I'm not mentally unstable ffs, I'm stressed. I wouldn't be a nurse tomorrow, there would be three training and I couldn't start until next year anyway.

I think I'm going to try to talk to management. I can't go on like this but as they are so unapproachable I've not raised any concerns either, so I'll try that first.

If they are unsupportive I'll have to try something else. I like the sound of HCA work.
It's not the dead bodies etc that are the real problem, it's they I went from being a Sahm to dealing with dead bodies in a fortnight. No training or university, just dropped right in to it. No emotional preperation or support whatsoever.

I don't want to give up yet, not on myself or on the residents I care for.

Thanks for letting me vent everyone. Lots of things to think about but number one is to stop being such a bloody wimp! .

What sort of care provider is it? I am trying to think of somewhere that you would experience frequent physical/emotional abuse and also regularly come across deaths. For example if it is with older people and those with complex health needs, you would expect people to die but not the emotional/physical abuse. I'm a social worker, I work in adult care so regularly go into a range of care homes and they can vary a lot. I think you are right to some extent that nurses in NHS environments probably get more protection and have had more training. There are some care homes I would not feel safe working in. However, having worked in care, you do have to accept seeing some traumatic things. Could you look for a job with a different care provider? What about a supported living type environment for people with learning disabilities? Or a care home for people with dementia? Could you work for a domiciliary provider and go to people's own homes? (also, if this is the career for you, have a look at social work - there are still bursaries available and adult social work can be very similar to MH nursing if you work in MH services).

Another one here to say if you are struggling with care work, mental health nursing
Is not for you !
I’m RMN, we don’t have personal alarms
We work with very unwell patients in very difficult circumstance
Managing risk is huge
Being an RMN does not qualify you to be a counsellor !!! That’s an entirely different education route
Think hard before applying !!!

Elderly (and some surprisingly young) people with varying stages of dementia, Keha. Some of whom are still very strong physically and unfortunately, some of them do die on site.

I'm going to duck out of this thread now. I've stated a few times why I feel mental health nursing and my current role will be different and whilst I am grateful for constructive advice, being told that I'm not suitable to do a job, based on my current struggle to adjust to this particular job over a period of eight weeks is not helpful.

Thanks to everyone who has offered advice/reassurance. I'm definitely going to take it on board and look into HCA/apprenticeship roles if this doesn't work out going forwards. Thanks again.

"I've already seen two dead bodies, multiple terrifying situations and so much sadness. I feel a bit traumatised by it all. I wasn't supported enough at all or trained adequately. I'm having frequent panic attacks."

I REALLY don't think MH nursing is for you, OP.
There are way too many people already in the MH sector who have MH issues of their own. They join up to think they can give something back when in all honesty it's bad for their MH, worse for their colleagues and even worse for the people they are meant to be looking after.

You're going to see and deal with more of what you already have and even worse.
You're fooling yourself if you think you'll get 'more support and training' so it'll be better. It won't.
You'll be busier, harder worked and work longer and shitter shifts.
You'll be assaulted regularly.
You'll see suicides and death.
You'll be verbally abused on an hourly basis.
Your training won't prepare you for any of that. It'll just knacker you even more.

Regardless of the future though, you don't have to do this job now.
Care work is one of the easiest sectors to get a job in because everyone is so desperate.
Sign up to an care work agency and you'll have a new job within a week. Do a few different types of care work roles and see what works best for you. Because in all honesty, this one isn't it.

Sorry OP but do you think 3 years training stops you being abused, assaulted, swear at? because it does not and I am unable too understand how your lots of experience of hospitals makes you think otherwise?

Yes you need to toughen up, but please don't be under the illusion you will be better protected. We get violent patients on wards and have no protection or personal alarms. I think you are very misinformed.

So OP you have qualified Nurses telling you as it is and your not even able to take on board constructive criticism because it's not helpful?

Best of luck OP you will need it.

There are way too many people already in the MH sector who have MH issues of their own. They join up to think they can give something back when in all honesty it's bad for their MH, worse for their colleagues and even worse for the people they are meant to be looking after.

I have often thought this myself, Bobby. I work in an ordinary secondary school but sometimes deal with kids with mental health problems. I am now no longer surprised when I find out one or both parents have not only experienced similar difficulties to their kids but actually work in the mental health field too. I don’t know why there is this connection, but I don’t think it’s good for anyone, as you say.

I've also wondered about this, you see a lot of posts here from people with MH issues, past or current, who are training or work in MH.

I had serious MH issues 20 years ago and I think I understand the impulse to work in the field, but I don't think it's always healthy.

Your work environment is toxic op. Most people could take on the most challenging roles as long as appropriate support is in place. It is not here.

I don't think your current distress is anything to do with your suitability for MH nursing. It is to do with toxic management, therefore workplace. Someone could have a similar reaction working in a supermarket.

Please don't jeopardise your health any more. It really really isn't worth it. Get another job in another place. Take care of yourself.

And breathe...non of us know you OP. Your life, your decision.

Why don’t you quit OP if you will be okay financially? After 8 weeks and being a SAHP I wouldn’t put this job on your CV.

Have a look on NHS Jobs - how about a HCA role in general nursing where you’ll get training and support? There are jobs like ophthalmic technician or occupational therapy assistant you could apply for with experience. Or admin jobs, there’s always ward clerk or clinic receptionist jobs going.

What about applying for a band 4 associate nurse programme?