Talk me through this - male on placement with brownies

[nevernotstruggling]

The dds have been to the same brownie unit for around 4 years (dd1 waiting to move up to guides). I know the leaders quite well and there has been one staff changeover in that time. The communication with parents has been excellent. I have felt safe letting the dds go on sleepovers knowing that I know all the adults involved. It's actually been brilliant in terms of safeguarding. No surprises or anything parents haven't been informed of. The dds love it. Dd2 is thriving there because it's a small closed group where she feels safe and familiar.

I dropped the dds off this week and a man came up to dd1 touches her shoulder and said 'you're it' I said to brown owl - who is that?? She replied oh it's Dave (not his name obvs). Me - who is Dave??? BO - he's on work placement (something about youth work) . Me - Er is he DBS checked?? BO- yes. Me- Brownies is a girls group!! BO - we have dads helping! No they don't. Not once the whole time we have attended.

Apparently Dave will be there for 4 weeks.

My reaction has been negative. I'm quite annoyed there was no warning of Dave jointing the unit. There have never been 'work placements' before. I think it was be something to do with the church though.

I think parents should have been told. They use a private Facebook group to keep in touch with parents and this works really well so I'm a bit baffled by the surprise!

Yy LittleBear your pretence at engaging in good faith fell fairly quickly. Why let facts and figures get in the way of your boring Friday night when you can spend your time building strawmen instead

Thank you @Nancydrawn 😉.

I heartily endorse your emoji.

Another male Unit Helper

www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=13&v=o8oHTAanbjg&feature=emb_logo

You mean sex, not gender

I don’t care.

I personally know male Brownie and Guide leaders.

No you don’t @gamerwidow. Men are not allowed to be leaders within girlguiding. They can be unit helpers, but they can’t do the leadership qualification. Unless they identify as female.

The whole idea of the Girlguiding movement is to provide girl only spaces so having a bloke there seems to defeat the point!

It really isn't.

97% of all sexual assault crimes are committed by men

This is a pretty ridiculous misuse of statistics!

What facts, what figures?

There’s no need to engage in good faith. There are real problems in this world that deserve that

This thread isn’t one of them.

The whole idea of the Girlguiding movement is to provide girl only spaces so having a bloke there seems to defeat the point

This!

@nevernotstruggling for me this is key. If you report to GGHQ I would include this. I would also raise it as a concern with BO and want to know what steps are being taken to ensure male volunteer is never alone with them.

Those posters who claim OP is man-hating etc, you'd honestly be fine with a stranger (not family friend of fellow school parent)coming up to your DD, touching them on the shoulder and saying 'you're it'?! Nothing about that strikes you as odd?

I do and I don't get this.

My dd goes to brownies. They are low on helpers. They have said they need to start a parent helper.

However I work very long hours. My husband less so. I was hoping I could volunteer him to help.

He is totally safe. Why can't he go and help.

I can understand on sleepovers.

This is fucking terrifying. So all you mothers of boys are happy for it to be assumed that they're unsafe around little girls?

Get a grip.

My dh helped at Brownies with elder dds. He now helps at Guides with the youngest.

"...to be assumed in the future...", I mean.Unless they're already teens, in which case...

Oh my Lord, the hand wringing about a game of It or Tig!

How old is this terrifying man OP?

Those posters who claim OP is man-hating etc, you'd honestly be fine with a stranger (not family friend of fellow school parent)coming up to your DD, touching them on the shoulder and saying 'you're it'?!

I’d assume he was starting a game of chase.

I just hope you don’t have a son OP and he doesn’t have the same struggles as poor Dave here

Can we not have any groups for girls by females any more? Why does it offend people?

sadly this is why I made such a point in previous years of making sure I knew all the staff

So do you plan on insisting that you get to know personally all the staff in your children's current schools, and every school they go to up to the age of 18? Good luck with that.

Yawn... he’s got every right to be there and you should be bloody grateful that people give up their free time for your kids.
Take them out of Brownies for four weeks if it’s that much of an issue for you. Or just get a grip....

I feel like I'm living in some kind of parallel universe. My own DH volunteers at the local playgroup where he takes our toddler and he would eg, help a child up some steps if they were struggling. But he wouldn't touch them to instigate some kind of chase game what adult man with any kind of self awareness of the way that might be viewed by others would do that?!

It's funny that this thread perfectly highlights what the GG members always said. You can't even have a thread without people centring male 'feelings' and you can't just say girls don't want men there without people saying that implies all men are a threat. As though women and girls aren't allowed to have boundaries and preferences for single sex spaces.
I bet the same people are constantly harassing the Masons and men-only golf clubs telling them that they're ' saying all women are a risk because they're not letting them in...' Or do they just accept men and boys can want single sex spaces and it's not an accusation against all women Funnily enough, I think I know the answer.

Since I've been asked. I would guess between 20 and 25 and quite early on in whatever youth work training he is doing.

@Acunningruse

He touched her shoulder.

Do get a grip

OP, without wishing to pry too much, I was wondering from your posts if there is a reason (either for you or your daughter) why a female-only space might be unusually important?

In the ordinary way of things I can't say a male helper would bother me, but I can see why it would be a real problem for some people. Where there had been domestic violence in the family, or abuse of any other kind, for example, or if the child have been the victim of any other violent crime.

Given that there is the possibility people with previous trauma of some kind being in any Brownie pack, I think it would have been sensible and kind to warn parents beforehand. I also think it would be a good idea to notify parents when a new female helper starts working with the pack, this wouldn't be specific to men (I'm not suggesting some sort of siren goes off when testosterone is detected within 20 feet of the meeting hall!). Lots of people react differently when they are warned/notified in advance of a change than they would if they are confronted with a change at the time.