So now I have to emigrate and change my name

[soupforbrains]

I work in construction.

I have just been on site and we have a 3 storey scaffold, because of space restrictions and other issues the access hatches at the tops of the ladders are smaller than normal. I have a 'generous' arse and had to turn myself just a fraction in order to get through the hatches without it being uncomfortable.

I went up the scaffold to inspect it and when I got down my colleague running the site called across to me 'everything ok?'

to which i yelled back 'yep, all good, although I need a bigger bumhole' ...

The entire site stopped and turned to look before one of the guys shouted 'I volunteer as tribute' and everyone fell about laughing.

So obviously I'm in the process of dying my hair and planning my emigration, I'll change my name when I get there.

At my sports club we were having a fun day before Christmas involving piggy back races, I asked my good friend who is quite camp ‘Will you be my bottom’

An email saying 'do you have any dirty requests?' Was supposed to say dietary...

Thanks for sharing 😂😂😂. I also work in construction. Am going to think of this every time I have to squeeze through an access hatch.

Sorry to those who don’t get it. It’s a combination of people assuming/deliberately misconstruing that I wanted my actual bum hole to be larger and effectively a guy on site ‘volunteering makes for the job but using the favour wording of the hinger games film to do so.

@Dazedandconfused10 haha. I came completely understand this slip and the embarrassment.

@SallySun123 glad it will alleviate the struggle for you

volunteering makes for the job but using the favour wording of the hinger games film to do so

Still no idea.

He's volunteering for bum sex with her. To give her a bigger bum hole.

Or even better when you sign off an email with 'Kind Regards' but instead type 'Kind Retards'