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Original poster

If you told your boss you were hopefully in between babies...

74 replies

Offthebeatenpath · 26/02/2020 13:23

....you were back at work but working on your second, as you didn't have much time to lose, so to speak and a big project was coming up that you would normally be in the running to lead. Boss knows that last pregnancy was full of time off for sickness and tiredness.

Would you expect your boss to choose someone else - would you have a right to be pissed off?

Asking for a friend Wink

OP posts:
TreacherousPissFlap · 26/02/2020 13:24

I can't imagine I'd have felt the need to mention my sex life to my boss TBH Confused

Lifesabeach86 · 26/02/2020 13:26

How long would the project run for?

Original poster
Offthebeatenpath · 26/02/2020 13:26

I can't imagine I'd have felt the need to mention my sex life to my boss TBH They are friends - although in hindsight...

OP posts:
inwood · 26/02/2020 13:26

Why on earth would you say anything at all? The mind boggles.

Original poster
Offthebeatenpath · 26/02/2020 13:27

4 months - high profile, high value.

OP posts:
autumnboys · 26/02/2020 13:27

i wouldn’t have told my boss I was trying for a second in the first place. Whether deliberately, or through unconscious bias, it’s not a thing the boss can unknow.

Findumdum1 · 26/02/2020 13:28

I'd expect them to choose someone else.

I would never have said this out loud to anyone other than my partner.

Original poster
Offthebeatenpath · 26/02/2020 13:29

And if my friend can't finish the job her boss will have to pick up the slack (effectively meaning her boss will have to do 2 jobs at the same time).

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2020 13:29

That’s a really stupid thing to share with your boss.

Original poster
Offthebeatenpath · 26/02/2020 13:30

My friend is expecting her boss to make the decision regardless of her family planning decisions and is quite annoyed.

OP posts:
P1nkHeartLovesCake · 26/02/2020 13:31

What kind of person feels the need to tell the boss that ? Nice and professional that, classy conversation.

I wouldn’t blame the boss if they found a reason to give the project to someone else......

Original poster
Offthebeatenpath · 26/02/2020 13:31

That’s a really stupid thing to share with your boss. I know - they are/were friends.

OP posts:
Boireannachlaidir · 26/02/2020 13:31

Your employer needs to consider the business needs first and foremost. Not sure what your reproductive cycle has to do with it, that's your business.

Sounds like you're blurring the lines between friendship and colleague/manager, usually ends in tears.

mistermagpie · 26/02/2020 13:31

Bloody hell, I wouldn't tell my boss (or anyone for that matter) that in a million years! You don't even know if you can get pregnant again, let alone when, so this disclosure might affect you for a long time.

Unfortunately you've done it now but I agree that even if your boss would like to think they are impartial, they can't un-know this information and it may make them unconsciously biased.

dwum · 26/02/2020 13:33

I would absolutely expect to not be picked for the project, and I would question a boss who picked someone knowing that the stakes are so high!

Did that person tell them on purpose to avoid being put on the project as they wanted to concentrate on other things and reduce their stress?

Is this a reverse?

PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2020 13:34

Your employer needs to consider the business needs first and foremost.

It’s illegal to discriminate against someone because of pregnancy.

Flyinggeese · 26/02/2020 13:35

Oh my goodness no. I've just cringed so hard. It's private (and TMI about sex life). And no matter what employment law actually says - shooting yourself in the foot.

Dyrne · 26/02/2020 13:36

Absolutely wouldn’t have told the boss in a million years. To expect it not to be a factor is incredibly naive.

Friend should challenge the decision and ask them to confirm in writing why she hasn’t been given the project.

I will challenge this statement of yours though:

And if my friend can't finish the job her boss will have to pick up the slack (effectively meaning her boss will have to do 2 jobs at the same time).

No, boss should arrange for appropriate maternity cover.

Flyinggeese · 26/02/2020 13:36

PurpleDaisies - yes it is - doesn''t mean it doesn't happen subtly though. Seen it many times.

Batqueen · 26/02/2020 13:36

It could be discriminatory if your friend would normally be chosen to lead a project and was not chosen on grounds of pregnancy/maternity (even if not actually pregnant it is Perceptive discrimination)

SoCrimeaRiver · 26/02/2020 13:38

It took me 8 years to conceive my 2nd so no, until I have a stick with two lines on it, it's no-one else's business. It's like the interview question on whether woman are planning any more children. There's a reason you're not supposed to ask that now - the staff member should just be an equal member of the team.

Dyrne · 26/02/2020 13:39

She has properly bollocksed herself though career-wise. Even if she now takes a year to conceive she’s still going to be discriminated against.

She should start keeping a record of projects that are denied to her that she otherwise would have been the obvious choice for.

Tableclothing · 26/02/2020 13:41

It's illegal to discriminate against someone because of pregnancy.

It is, as it absolutely should be. But equality legislation is like CCTV - does very little to prevent unpleasant behaviour, only occasionally does it result in anyone getting punished.

ConsiderTheCentre · 26/02/2020 13:42

That wasn't her best decision.

I wouldn't be surprised if she's sidelined for the forseeable future.

You can't be penalised for being pregnant, but she's being sidelined because she's openly said her commitments isn't on the job, it's on baby making. So much so she shared the news with her boss!

BarbaraofSeville · 26/02/2020 13:42

^And if my friend can't finish the job her boss will have to pick up the slack (effectively meaning her boss will have to do 2 jobs at the same time).

No, boss should arrange for appropriate maternity cover^

That's not always possible, eg if someone has a highly specialised job where temps are unlikely to be available, many workplaces just expect other employees to cover work for those on maternity leave.

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