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Original poster

Not doing posed family photos at our wedding

60 replies

Geneshish · 19/02/2020 21:14

I'd like our photographer to focus on candid shots of the day rather than gathering the various groups of people together. I'd like a few of DP and I on our own, one with the whole wedding party and a massive group shot of everyone. Will I regret that? Is it likely to upset people?

OP posts:

HolaWeenie · 19/02/2020 21:22

I don't think you will regret it. We did candid shots and I love our photos, much nicer to look through pics and see happy scenes of the day, than staged grins, in my opinion. I did ask for my photographer to mingle and try to get a snap of every couple/group during the post ceremony canapés/drinks thing, and in the thank you cards I put a printed copy of their picture for them.

Shmithecat2 · 19/02/2020 21:23

I didn't even have a photographer at my wedding.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 19/02/2020 21:23

We’re doing this - we chose a photographer specifically who does a more candid style and asks that you limit group shots to just a couple, as we don’t want many

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Weddings

Lottapianos · 19/02/2020 21:24

Good for you. Posed shots are very awkward and cringey. Friends had a photographer just wander around at their reception and he got some really lovely shots

BertieBotts · 19/02/2020 21:26

Candid shots are nice, but I also like the staged group photos we have - it's nice to have specific groups of different people. The full group is a bit too cluttered to make out individually. I like having for example all of DH's family or all of my family. But it doesn't really matter - it's your wedding, your choice!

WonkyDonk87 · 19/02/2020 21:27

We did this. Our photographer asked us to do a few traditional shots and we obliged but they're not our favourites. We have a few usual family pics (for giving to ILs etc) but lots of candid shots and these are the best. They really capture the best bits of our day.

Dickvandog · 19/02/2020 21:27

We didn’t have posed and we don’t regret it one bit! 15 years ago so it was quite new then. Some are black and white with one part in colour eg just one flower or the car against the B& w backdrop.

Everyone even now comments on how the emotion shines through them.

Do it!

Have fun!

DerekMorganswife · 19/02/2020 21:41

We did this. We had a few posed photos of us and DS (for the grandmas) but the rest were lovely candid photos of the day; people laughing, chatting to people they didn't know, drinking champagne etc.
We asked the photographer to take candid photos of us with specific people e.g. my grandpa, bridesmaids but it was very relaxed and a lovely day. No pressure and no awkward break in between the ceremony and meal whilst photos were taken. I definitely don't regret it!

eurochick · 19/02/2020 21:59

We got married ten years ago and reportage style photography was already popular then. We had a few posed shots with close family but the rest of the photos are candid shots of individuals or small groups. That combination worked well for us.

fizzybootlace · 19/02/2020 22:51

I would have agreed with you when I got married as I had a pretty traditional photographer but we had a mix of shots. The reportage style are my favourites but now some 20 years later, many aunts and uncles and most importantly my dad are no longer with us so it's gives me happy memories of them. Also the younger generation love seeing them and it gives them a bit more family history. I wouldn't have considered any of this at the time but worth the extra few minutes or took to take them.

reluctantbrit · 19/02/2020 23:05

We had a bit of everything but the candid ones where taken by our guests. I didn’t want a photographer during the meal, evening one.

We did a series just DH and me, I love them as they are special for us. We asked a friend to do some group shots of family, mine and DH separate, no posing, just gathering some people and point and shoot.

We asked all guests to give us copies of the photos, paid for prints as it was prior to everyone having a digital camera/camera phone.

springydaff · 19/02/2020 23:09

I agree with fizzy. Posed photos are important from an historical perspective. It doesn't take much to get everyone together in groups as a record. Have the candid shots too of course but don't leave out the posed photos.

ethelredonagoodday · 19/02/2020 23:14

My brother is photographer and he's done pretty much this for the last 10 years or so! You won't regret it!

BoswellsBollocks · 19/02/2020 23:15

Similar story to fizzybootlace

When my DB got married they only had candid photos. Our mum died 5 months later and there was not a single photo with our mother in. (Nor were there any with me in well, a bit of my arm throwing confetti but I didn’t give a shit)

The candid photos were just of the beautiful people and kids. Our mum hardly ever let anyone take her photo and we stupidly thought there’d be at least 1 of her taken off guard. We looked through the eleventy million arty shots of flowers and out of focus fields but nada.

Take at least a couple of more formal shots, you might regret it else.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 19/02/2020 23:15

This is what we did, the posed shots just don't do it for me at all. I love my wedding photos, my photographer was brilliant and just slid around like a ninja all day getting beautiful candids.

CherryPavlova · 19/02/2020 23:18

We didn’t have a photographer but friends took photos.

Our daughters photography is going to be entirely informal.

BackforGood · 19/02/2020 23:18

I agree with Fizzy too.
Many people who were at our wedding are no longer with us. I'm glad I ensured I had everyone on a photo, and I know various relations liked having copies of "their" family.
Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have the 'casual' shots too - but wedding photographers these days tend to stay around long enough to take plenty of those as well.

Up to you of course, but I would advise anyone to have group shots of families and of friends from certain places.
One 'whole group of everyone' is usually too crowded to really see people (unless you are only having a dozen at your wedding).

DecemberSnow · 19/02/2020 23:25

Agree with Fizzy...

I photographed a wedding for free, to build up my portfolio, i got there at 9am and left at 11pm and i got a huge range of photos, the posed and the casual. I met with the couple before and discussed who they would really like alot of photos of and on the day worked out / listened / asked who people were.
There was over 2000 photographs once i had deleted fuzzy ones etc

anon2000000000 · 19/02/2020 23:26

We did a couple of posed pictures but the majority were candid. They're the best ones.

Bezalelle · 20/02/2020 06:26

We did this and it was so much more relaxed. Posed photos make me cringe, as do those wanky shots of "the shoes" and "the dress hanging up".

Mumdiva99 · 20/02/2020 06:33

We did this. One massive group one, a couple of our immediate family (his parents, my parents, our aunt). Then it was relaxed. But the photographer stayed in one spot for a while so we did get some pics of my friends, his friends, my cousin's, his brothers etc We had loads of youngish kids at the wedding who wouldn't have complied with hours of formal stuff. The only thing I regret is there are only a few photos of some of the people who are more special to me - so meeting with the photographer before and going through Guestlist would have helped. Also I wanted shots of people arriving at church - so everyone was photographed at least once in a formal way - but I didn't communicate that properly. So we do have some lovely pre-wedding photos but they aren't formal and it's not everyone.

gaffamate · 20/02/2020 06:38

I'd do both, at some point you will want to look back at a photo of your mum and aunts or something and candid shots might only have caught the back of their heads!

Elephantonascooter · 20/02/2020 06:40

We did this. Just make sure your photographer knows who the 'important people' are. I have about 15 shits of an old work colleague because she is attractive, and 1 shot of my now dead grandmother and nothing of my husbands now dead uncle who he was close to. Also, nothing of my brother and his girlfriend but when I asked the photographer he said he didn't realise they were even together as they were so moody all day which I found hilarious!
Also, someone will try and set up some organised shots, whether they know your wishes or not. It just happens.

silentpool · 20/02/2020 06:41

We did both. Like the others, I am grateful for the posed shots as it means I have everyone together. But I like the fact that the majority were candid. I have some lovely photos of people who are no longer with us, that I treasure.

mommymooo · 20/02/2020 06:43

We didn't have posed photos apart from one big group and a couple of just me n hubby. All others were just taken mid action in the background shots and I loved everyone and the ones friends and family took were fabulous to. X

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