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Original poster

At what age would you leave 2 children at home for a full day rather than use holiday childcare?

111 replies

Theromanempire · 19/02/2020 07:56

As the title says...2 siblings, what age would you feel happy leaving them together for a full working day?

OP posts:
AveEldon · 19/02/2020 09:36

once at secondary

Howmanysleepsnow · 19/02/2020 09:39

10/ nearly 11 and 12 (year 6 and 7) but my 10 year old was very sensible. I wouldn’t have left the older one at 10.

DameHannahRelf · 19/02/2020 09:40

Roughly 13+ I think, to be left all day. It would depend on their personalities, how well they get on etc, not just their age.

I have a nephew who's 10 that I'd trust more left alone not to do anything mad, more than his older brother who's 15 (who if he wasn't doing jackass style stunts, would probably have his gf over, and in his room all day).

elliejjtiny · 19/02/2020 09:47

My eldest 2 are 13 and 11 and I have left them together for 30 minutes while I went to vote but no longer than that. Both have SN though.

SciFiScream · 19/02/2020 10:34

I took mine to holiday club for as long as the club would have them. This for us in Scotland is the summer after Primary 7.

When they start S1 (secondary, 1st year) that's it. No more holiday care.

My DS turned 12 in the September (school starts in August here). He's in S2 now.

My DD will go to holiday club the summer after P7 (she'll already be 12). She's in P5 at the moment.

There's a 3.9 year gap between the two.

Qwerty543 · 19/02/2020 10:59

Glad to read this as I have a 12 year old with limited options during the holidays this year. I've left him on my days I work 4.5 hours but not my 6 hour days which have travel and drop off/pick up times of sibling added on. He is very keen to be left. I've found a sports club that take up to 14 but it's not cheap at all!

DoctorNicoleWatterson · 19/02/2020 11:03

I've left my older 2 alone when they've had teacher training days since they started secondary, so at first just one alone aged 11, then two of them aged 12 and 11. I only work 5 minutes from home though, not sure if I worked further away. Would happily leave them now eldest is 14, they're sensible and get on well. I leave my 9 year old with them now too but only for a couple of hours if I nip to supermarket etc.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 19/02/2020 11:06

Secondary school age for youngest child. There is always lots of hand wringing on these threads of people who can only leave their 25 yr olds alone for half a day!! Haha!

caperplips · 19/02/2020 11:12

we leave 14 year old, second year in secondary school for a morning / afternoon but not the entire day yet as we live rurally and there are no neighbours so can be isolated.

Dh usually goes home at lunch time if she's off and then she might come back into town with him to meet a pal in the afternoon and come home with us both at 5.30pm.

She would actually be fine on her own but we don't have to do to so we don't

cheninblanc · 19/02/2020 11:16

Mine were 13 and 11, did two six hour days. They built that up to full days. Now 16 and 13 they are home half the week alone but go out and do stuff

clary · 19/02/2020 11:17

Secondary school age is fine. Both would need to be 11+ tho, I wouldn't be happy with 11yo and 8yo for a day for example. Basically, would you leave the younger one alone? If yes, then fine imo.

Seeline · 19/02/2020 12:24

I think the issue is when the older one wants to go out with his mates. Are you then happy for the younger one to be left alone, and for how long? And are you then happy for the younger one to wander off with their mates when they get bored of being on their own?

It seems very unfair to expect the older child to have to stay at home all day every day of the holidays without some freedom.

ShivD · 19/02/2020 12:25

Probably once my DS2 starts secondary so they’d be 11 and 13, assuming they still get on well then as it’s a year away.

doctorboo · 19/02/2020 12:46

Multi sport clubs seem to be popular around my way for children who have finished at primary school. Those who don’t do sports or dance clubs seem to be with their friends during the working day.
I still have this to come as mine are 4, 6 and 8. Due to SEN (my oldest) we wouldn’t leave them home alone until the youngest is 12. At the moment I don’t can’t see my oldest and middle son (currently being assessed) being alone and not burning the house down, which makes me relieved that I have 8 years!

wanderwonderwanderwonder · 19/02/2020 12:50

There wasn't really any holiday clubs when I was growing up and both my parents worked full time and no close family. I looked after my sister (five years younger) from the age of 11

RedskyAtnight · 19/02/2020 12:57

I think leaving them at those ages is fine, but my concern would be leaving them every day for several weeks. Is the public transport system good where you live? Will/can the DC make plans to meet up with friends during the day? If they can/will it's entirely different to them being literally stuck at home and left to their own devices.

Do you not have annual leave you can take? When my DC were those ages, DH and I took odd days off through the summer to break up the time they were on their own.

Original poster
Theromanempire · 19/02/2020 13:40

redsky yes, obviously we have annual leave but our family holiday at the start of the summer holidays is taking a good chunk of it and due to working in a small team, means options for further time off in the summer is limited as office cover is needed. DH is the same.

Also, annual leave needs to cover the other 7 weeks holiday the rest of the year so we have to spread it out Confused

OP posts:
poppymatilda · 19/02/2020 13:46

I was an only child and left alone in the school holidays from the age of 12. I hated it - we lived in a rural area so there was nothing for me to do and no way of getting anywhere. I used to just mooch about the house and feel bored - there was limited chance of me coming to any harm though!

RedskyAtnight · 19/02/2020 14:09

Also, annual leave needs to cover the other 7 weeks holiday the rest of the year so we have to spread it out

Yes, that's the point. Your DC are on the awkward cusp of "too old for holiday club" but "too young to leave at home all the time". You need to do the opposite of what most people do when they have children that they put in holiday clubs (they either take of chunks of a/l orbook the children in club for a week at a time).

If you (or DH) take the odd day or two off during every week for every holiday it breaks up for the DC.

MymbleClement · 19/02/2020 14:16

Depends on the child but probably 12+ for the youngest. Having said that, I'd happily leave DS2 (10) as he's extremely sensible - his 12 yr old brother is the one I don't trust to behave!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 19/02/2020 15:11

I've left 12 yr old DD on her own for the morning while I'm at work. In the holidays, I either book the time off or she goes to family. I try to limit the amount of time she has to be on her own. She's 13 soon and very sensible, so she'd be fine all day, but I'd worry too much to be of use at work.

Alsoco · 19/02/2020 15:16

I got left from age 13 I think. My grandparents were nearby if I needed them.

KahlanRahl · 19/02/2020 15:32

Depends on the children. My nephew was fine at age 8. My niece is 11 and would still feel uncomfortable home alone for a whole day.

SquashedFlyBiscuit · 19/02/2020 16:44

Id personally be v concerned about an 8 year old left all day. I know a lot of 8 year olds and would be honestly wondering about reporting if they were left 9-5 during the holidays.

RedskyAtnight · 19/02/2020 16:48

8 is far too young to leave for whole days for a chunk of the holiday!
(If they are left while parents work full time it will be longer than 9-5 as well).

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