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Original poster

At what age would you leave 2 children at home for a full day rather than use holiday childcare?

111 replies

Theromanempire · 19/02/2020 07:56

As the title says...2 siblings, what age would you feel happy leaving them together for a full working day?

OP posts:

AtseneGatnalp · 19/02/2020 08:26

If they get on ok, probably 10 and 12. I didn't leave mine at that age because blood would have been shed.

Flaskfan · 19/02/2020 08:30

I was left with sibling from 11 (summer before high school). I was oldest, but relatives lived close. It was pre internet and even pre mega drive, so we watched a lot of telly and called for our mates.

AtseneGatnalp · 19/02/2020 08:30

I'll qualify that by saying that I'd leave two sensible and co-operative children of those ages for a day - but not lots of days in a row. I feel bad when I have to leave mine for consecutive full days, and they are 16 and 18.

MiddleOfTheRoad · 19/02/2020 08:31

Mine are 13 and I have left them for the odd few hours if out shopping locally etc.

I could leave them all day if need be while I was at work a few miles away.

They are sensible, entertain each other and could have a packed lunch.

They'd be fine, it'd be me checking up as I would feel guilty as usual, which I know is silly.

My parents left me from that age and didn't think twice. I was a bit lonely, but with two, they can keep each other company (if they get on).

Pilot12 · 19/02/2020 08:32

When the youngest is 12 and at secondary school.

hiredandsqueak · 19/02/2020 08:34

When the youngest of the two is aged eleven for me. I left mine when they were aged twelve and eleven anyway.

Notsure94 · 19/02/2020 08:34

I agree when both are in high school so 11+ or 12+ if a bit immature. I'd leave my 12 year old but my 10 year old is a bit dizzy so might try to toast crisps or something.

Seeline · 19/02/2020 08:35

I think as a one off, or maybe a couple of days a week, I'd be happy with 12 and 14. They would need phones, a list of numbers to call, and ideally a reliable neighbour.

I think if it's every day for a week or longer, you would need to rethink. Would they be allowed to go out with friends, and if so would they have to stick together or could just one stay at home? Could they have friends round etc. I think the problem of two just stuck at home for days on end could lead to serious boredom setting in and that's when silly things start to happen.

MrsJBaptiste · 19/02/2020 08:35

Surely there's a time where the older one stays on their own for the day and the younger one goes to a holiday club? Sometimes younger kids just can't do what their older siblings are doing.

Lucked · 19/02/2020 08:35

Yes high school for the youngest.

Chocolatecake12 · 19/02/2020 08:35

When they are in secondary school so aged 11.

Original poster

Theromanempire · 19/02/2020 08:43

Such a variety of answers (which is pretty much what I expected).

I can eke out holiday club for the youngest over the summer (he won't particularly want to go as it is likely to be 4 weeks in the same place doing the same thing) and possibly manage to cover October half-term so realistically, it is likely to be next Feb half-term.

At that point, they will be 14 and 12. I have left the oldest by himself for full days since he was 13 including 4 days on 2 consecutive weeks (which appears to be frowned upon a bit here ). I have also left them together by themselves for up to 3 hours occasionally (the eldest will sometimes pick the youngest up from school rather than using after-school club). Me and DH are approximately 20 minutes drive away and they know other safe houses on the estate where they could go to in emergencies (friends/neighbours). I think it would be ok at 14 and 12?

It does frustrate me about the lack of holiday activities for teenagers though - DS is ok about being left at home by himself but he would also love to go to some form of sports camp etc. Surely there would be a market for it (or maybe not as I understand that parents are reluctant to pay for holiday activities for a day longer than they actually need to).

OP posts:

Original poster

Theromanempire · 19/02/2020 08:47

MrsJBaptiste yes I totally agree that sometimes the younger one cannot always do what the older one has. Fortunately DS2 has never really kicked off about having to go to holiday club once DS1 was too old for them - he has just accepted that that is the way it is and in some ways, it has helped his confidence as he has had to step out of DS1's shadow and make his own friends.

My concern is when it gets to the time that DS2 is also too old for holiday clubs which all seem to stop at 11!

OP posts:

Hercwasonaroll · 19/02/2020 08:48

They'll be fine this summer tbh OP. People scaremonger about not leaving a 16 and 18yo, most 18yos move out to uni!!

I'd be clear on what (if any) responsibility the older one has for the 11yo. Then leave them to it. You can always use the holiday club as a "if you don't behave" threat.

HalfBloodPrincess · 19/02/2020 08:49

14 and 12 will be fine!

I live childcare/holiday clubs stop at secondary school age so had to leave from 11

MrsJBaptiste · 19/02/2020 08:51

I think that by 11 it's then fine to leave them with their older sibling.

It does depend on them though, my two don't get out of bed until late morning and so I'll go into work early so at least I'm home by 4.30ish. I also don't mind using the PS4 as a babysitter when I'm at work, sometimes needs must!

vhs95 · 19/02/2020 08:52

I agree with op. Nothing around in the holidays once they get to 11 or 12 - a badly run football club is the only option for my grandson and he hated the lack of organisation. We're not happy to let him 'play out' much and certainly not if nobody is home. There must be a market for clubs for them - my daughter gets some sort of childcare vouchers for him but can't find anywhere to use them.

Original poster

Theromanempire · 19/02/2020 08:53

Mmm bit of food for thought - wonder if I should trial it a bit in the summer (DS1 will be 14 and DS2 will be 11) and maybe on the weeks where I would need holiday club for 4 days, I could just book 3 days for DS2 and leave them for 1 day each week to try it out.

As a pp said, I could have the holiday club as back up as the one I use charge the same for 5 days as they do for 3!

OP posts:

Mulledwineinajug · 19/02/2020 08:54

Secondary age. Once the youngest is 11.

AliceDownARabbitHole · 19/02/2020 08:54

Depends on the children, how they get on, how sensible they are, whether they know what to do in an emergency and whether blood is likely to be shed. I probably wouldn't leave my 10 and 12 year old together just yet as they may fail the not killing eachother criteria, but would leave both of them independently.

Original poster

Theromanempire · 19/02/2020 08:56

VHS yes, it is so annoying! I had a 'banker' of a week in the summer which was a sports camp which DS1 has attended every summer since he was 5. There is no upper age limit but kids tend to tail off once they get to 14 or 15 so DS1 has been able to do that and it has broken his summer holidays up. Unfortunately, the organisers have changed the date and moved it to an earlier week in the summer and we are on holiday for that week - I am disproportionately upset (as are my 2 DC as they really love that week) as it means DS1 is now faced with 3 or 4 weeks of being at home by himself

OP posts:

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 19/02/2020 08:56

I would say your dc are fine to be left alone as they are both secondary school age. It would be good to have some sort of sport/camp organised for them if you can find something they want to do.

altiara · 19/02/2020 08:57

Sports camps usually continue after age 11. That’s what I’ll do with my DS, a half day at tennis camp and then half a day at home with his sister on the days I’m not working from home.
I also give them a few jobs so I come home to a part cleaned house and part cooked meal.

Wheresthesandman · 19/02/2020 08:57

I was left with my sister during the day from the ages of 12 and 5. I was a very sensible 12 year old though and our mum worked over the road from our house so could have been home in 90 seconds if I’d have called her.

I think that would still be frowned upon by most people though!

Original poster

Theromanempire · 19/02/2020 08:58

Also, once DS2 starts high school in September, they will be at home together for 2 hours every day after school so hopefully they will learn to get along (which I am assuming will involve them going into separate rooms to play on the xbox most days!)

OP posts:

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