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Original poster

Tiktok

144 replies

Zombiemum1946 · 18/02/2020 22:24

We've discovered our daughter has been gifting money on tiktok. £2300 has left her dad's account. Has anyone had any success in getting the money back ?

OP posts:
Itsonlywords · 19/02/2020 18:06

That's the least of your worries if she is using tiktok, there is a very dark side to it.

DICarter1 · 19/02/2020 18:27

My dd is 11 and has been badgering me for TikTok. I’ve locked up all devices as she set up her own account on it and on Instagram. I have it downloaded on my phone and her account is private and she never posts videos but she does want to keep up with her friends. After the comments on here I think I’ll delete it. Thankfully her 10 year old sister isn’t at all bothered. Sadly my 11 year old badly wants to fit in. And loads of kids at our school have TikTok.

shortytrekker · 19/02/2020 18:51

@northernspirit How rude! It's up to each parent whether their child has a phone it's not for a stranger to come and say that it's wrong!

recordbox · 19/02/2020 20:32

Her tiktok is on child mode so the content is limited.

That interesting. The 'family safety mode' which will allow parents to exercise some control over what their children see was only announced TODAY.

Original poster
Zombiemum1946 · 20/02/2020 13:52

It was called restricted mode. The difference with the new changes is the remote viewing for parental control. If you want to infer I'm lying that's your prerogative. I wasn't . Thanks for your input.

OP posts:
recordbox · 20/02/2020 13:57

It was called restricted mode. The difference with the new changes is the remote viewing for parental control. If you want to infer I'm lying that's your prerogative. I wasn't . Thanks for your input.

I said it was interesting. I said that because it was interesting. I never once said you were lying so please don't put words into my mouth.

Original poster
Zombiemum1946 · 20/02/2020 14:16

To me your statement was inferring I lied by stating emphatically that a safety mode was only announced a matter of hours/days ago. If that wasn't what you meant, it ,unfortunately, was how it came across, especially with the today in all caps.

OP posts:
recordbox · 20/02/2020 14:48

To me your statement was inferring I lied by stating emphatically that a safety mode was only announced a matter of hours/days ago.

Emphatically?

I said it was interesting you had done that because the announcement yesterday. That announcement suggested there wasn't control previously. Hence the use of the word 'interesting'.

I was interested, not emphatic, not accusing, interested.

Original poster
Zombiemum1946 · 20/02/2020 15:03

Then apologies. I've been attacked on this thread and am now getting defensive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zombiemum1946 · 20/02/2020 15:26

For those saying she should have a phone, it's the future. The apps on it reflect her interests and needs. Art, photography, sudoku, word search and so on. Tiktok was a mistake and a lesson learned. She watches dance routines and then practices. She watches children's games from around the world then plays them with her friends. This also reflects what we teach her and about the family that have sadly passed away and how much of this is what these people also had talents in. She knows about the sacrifices family made during wars, how those sacrifices have led to freedoms we have now. We compare photos she takes with those her dead grandparents took. Yes there is a dark dangerous side to the internet, but it also is her future. 9 year olds are curious,absorb and understand far more than many give them credit for. She Knows what she did to her father was extremely hurtful to the point she asked if daddy will ever love her again. Some of the remarks on here reflect another internet danger, one that she reported people for on tiktok .

OP posts:
LovingLola · 20/02/2020 15:33

She Knows what she did to her father was extremely hurtful to the point she asked if daddy will ever love her again.

Jesus Christ!!

xsamix86 · 20/02/2020 15:40

Can you freeze the transactions through the bank? If they were sent yesterday there may be a way of getting them back. I think it takes a couple of days for the payment to actually go through. I would get your husband to freeze the transactions via online banking or the app, then contact the bank and ask for them to be reversed.

winewolfhowls · 20/02/2020 15:43

I thought tiktok was really unsuitable for small children, some seriously dodgy stuff on there. Losing money would not be my number one concern to be honest.

74NewStreet · 20/02/2020 15:47

You do go in for the drama in your family, don’t you? She knows it hurt her father and wonders will he ever love her again? Wtf??
Why did she do it if she attached such deep significance to it?

LovingLola · 20/02/2020 15:51

Why did she do it if she attached such deep significance to it?

Probably because she is only 9 years old and hadn’t a clue how much she was gifting to the influencer .

recordbox · 20/02/2020 15:53

She Knows what she did to her father was extremely hurtful to the point she asked if daddy will ever love her again

This is so incredibly sad.

VeniVidiVoxi · 20/02/2020 16:15

There was a radio 4 Money Box program on similar issues;

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000fgs7

There was some good advice offered and some disbelief too as I recall. It's easy to comment and be wise after the event but it's not really helpful is it? I hope that you get your money back and that your daughter feels loved, because we all make mistakes x

tegucigalpa13 · 20/02/2020 16:19

Why was she on Tiktok?

Why were you not supervising her?

I think you should be happy she was only gifting money rather than developing a relationship with a paedophile.

Young children on line are vulnerable. That is why they are not allowed on these apps.And that is why you need to parent your children.

recordbox · 20/02/2020 16:25

It's easy to comment and be wise after the event but it's not really helpful is it?

Yes, yes it is helpful. If it makes ONE parent reading this prevent their child from doing the same then yes it is absolutely helpful to comment after the event. It's how people learn. OP thought her child was safe. How many people have pointed out she wasn't? How many others think it's ok? We NEED to keep commenting when things like this happen. It can be the difference between a child being exposed and a child being safe.

Original poster
Zombiemum1946 · 20/02/2020 16:34

Initially he thought he'd been hacked and was seriously angry and panicking. When he found out the truth he was so angry he couldn't even speak to her, and all she wanted to do was say sorry. It's obviously settled after the initial shock and she's been reassured that we love her no matter what. Money was such a worry for long-time in his life that financial matters are normally dealt with by me. This was one of only 4 payments he's involved with. It was somewhat overly dramatic but was over quite quickly. I reached out to this website as I thought someone may be able to give extra advice. The fraud dept at the bank are now involved, we're getting some money back from Apple and emailing the 3 influencers is next.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 20/02/2020 16:35

A simple google search of Tiktok and children throws up many warnings.
For example within 30 minutes of an 8 year old putting up a clip of herself dancing she was inundated with messages. There are 500 million tiktok users world wide - it has become one of the primary channels for those people who want to prey on children.

Patroclus · 20/02/2020 16:41

I wouldnt let kids near TikTok myyself. Absolutely brimming with paedophiles.

Original poster
Zombiemum1946 · 20/02/2020 17:14

The reality is most children are groomed, abused, assaulted and murdered by family members, family friends or those in a position of trust. Yes caution should always be taken with internet access, grooming becoming an increasing danger. As unpalatable as it maybe, the most immediate dangers are much closer to home.

OP posts:
recordbox · 20/02/2020 17:45

^ this kind of attitude helps no one.

It's all a bit 'yes, but' and just distracts from the actual issue which is TikTok is a horrifically dangerous place for a 9 year old to be.

The fact that a family member may be more likely to abuse her doesnt really cut it in terms of validating the choice.

People need to know how dangerous that app really is.

numberonecook · 20/02/2020 17:47

OP didn't ask for advice on whether or not her child should be using tiktok she asked for advice on how to get her money back. Some of the replies on here are bullying and i dont think it is called for. In a week where we have had a major celebrity kill herself due to bullying I think we all need to stop being so judgemental and just be kind. OP has made a mistake. We all make mistakes.

OP i think you re doing the right thing contacting apple first. i hope you get at least some of your money back.