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Original poster

Toddler came home from dads with bruising on inner thighs

83 replies

Bluespace · 17/02/2020 04:34

My 22 month old daughter came home from her dads yesterday. He had put her in her pajamas so I put her straight to bed.

She’s just woken up and had a dirty nappy so I’ve changed her and noticed several bruises on her inner thighs.

I have several thoughts whirling round my head. Should I be worried about these bruises?

He has known to be aggressive but never hurt me or her when we were together.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 17/02/2020 04:36

Should I be worried about these bruises?

You really have to ask?

GrassyGreen · 17/02/2020 04:36

Make no assumptions, ask him straight out. Take your child to GP to ask their advice.

GrassyGreen · 17/02/2020 04:37

What form do the bruises take? Small, large?

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Original poster
Bluespace · 17/02/2020 04:38

Okay I am worried about the bruises.

We have no contact rather than over email so if I was to ask via that he would have enough time to cover something up if need be. It’s also the middle of the night.

Where do I go from here? Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluespace · 17/02/2020 04:39

@GrassyGreen they are small/ medium size. Darker in the middle and still look ‘fresh’

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 17/02/2020 04:40

You can call the NSPCC for advice.

www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/get-advice-and-support/

They’re open from 8am.

PurpleDaisies · 17/02/2020 04:41

This is something that will need looking at/documenting by a medical professional.

Incontinencesucks · 17/02/2020 04:41

Take her to the GP first thing. Then ask him

itswonkylampshade · 17/02/2020 04:42

I think you have to take her to the GP. If he’s done something to her (god forbid) it’s safest for her if a professional has taken a look. Flowers

BruceAndNosh · 17/02/2020 04:43

Take photos now and again in the morning if there is any change

Incontinencesucks · 17/02/2020 04:43

Photograph now too as timestamped evidence

Original poster
Bluespace · 17/02/2020 04:44

I feel sick

OP posts:
GrassyGreen · 17/02/2020 04:45

Take the photos, op. Make an emergency appointment with gp or Hv tomorrow.

GrassyGreen · 17/02/2020 04:54

It may be something as simple as holding her legs if sitting on his shoulders. Either way, it's best to get your little one checked and for it to be documented. You are doing the right thing by questioning it. Thanks

sashh · 17/02/2020 04:56

OP

I'd call the police, now.

I would not wait for a GP appointment. This is going to sound horrible, if it is 'the worst' then you want someone in authority to see those bruises ASAP, now she has not been in your care for long enough for bruising to have developed as you describe. If you wait until the GP opens you have no evidence the bruising didn't occur whilst you were caring for her.

On the other side of things, I bruise really easily, even now as an adult. I had some mystery bruising (I always have some) recently caused by me propping up a lap top computer.

As a child I might have bruised my inner thighs by sitting on a ride along toy.

NeverGuessWho · 17/02/2020 05:09

I hope you took photos, and retake first thing in the morning.

You are 100% right to question this.

Either take her to your own GP first thing, or as soon as you can get an appointment today, OR go to a walk in centre, if you can’t get an appointment today.

Tell the professionals of your concerns.

I would casually ask her if she sat on Daddy’s shoulders yesterday, as a PP suggested. Maybe she wobbled on his shoulders and he gripped her legs tightly to stop her falling off.

Does she generally bruise easily?

The Drs will take it seriously, because that is an area where young children don’t generally bruise themselves - it will be a red flag to them.

Iambloodystarving · 17/02/2020 05:12

Don't panic. Seriously - DON'T.

It could be she was struggling over a nappy change, it could be holding her too strongly like someone else said. Take pictures and get a professional to have a look at her.

Havannahh · 17/02/2020 05:21

She could have banged a coffee table or done it climbing on play equipment in the park. Yes it could be sinister but it could also be innocent.

Please try to maintain that you don't know yet how it happened, for your own sanity.

Doctors first thing for sure, then you will have a better idea. Xxx

cherrytree63 · 17/02/2020 05:23

There is another post where the Dad bruised the child's inner thigh by gripping him when he tried to wriggle away.
You must be so worried Flowers

PurpleDaisies · 17/02/2020 05:29

Hopefully (most likely?) it will turn out to be nothing but you’ve got to get these bruises looked at to be sure.

NoSharon · 17/02/2020 05:56

Do NOT ask him anything. Take baby to a GP first thing this morning.

How is the baby in herself?

NoSharon · 17/02/2020 05:57

I have never bruised my dd ever. Let alone over a nappy change.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 17/02/2020 06:23

Don’t ask him, take photos and if Your GP is like mine, tell the receptionist your child came home after contact with bruises. Otherwise they will tell you they will go on their own, to give her paracetamol and if you are lucky, give you an appointment in May.

blackcat86 · 17/02/2020 06:28

Just to echo all the advice above but do not ask her about the bruises unless she offers information (she might talk about a toy for example). Its best to let the professionals handle this. Absolutely photograph and seek advice first thing from GP and/or HV. Stop any further contact with dad until those professionals agree its safe to do so. This is a 'red flag area' and whilst it may be innocent it may not be. It's also concerning that he didnt tell you about any injury or bruising before she came home.

MrsP2015 · 17/02/2020 06:47

You need to act fast. God forbid something awful has happened and there is dna evidence it will be dying every second.

If you still have the dirty nappy, as awful as it sounds save it in case they need to do dna checks. Same with any of her dirty washing (if sent back to you).

DO NOT CHALLENGE HIM.

If you're England I'd call 101 for Police assistance. They can take things from there.

I pray your baby is ok and there is a simple explanation.